Are You Surviving or Are You Thriving?

There is a difference between surviving and thriving.

Where you sit in your life, and what you see through that mental and psychological lens of your life -- either on one side or another of an imaginary leadership demarcation line within you -- makes all the difference in the world.

A difference to how we succeed. A difference in whether we succeed.

Many groups of people -- be they urban minority groups, white rural residents of small towns with sustained dying local economies, women of all races who feel significantly under-recognized and others -- feel invisible to power, money, wealth and position in our world. I call this combined group the Invisible Class in my upcoming book The Memo.

And then you have say the African-American community, who were told for more than 400 years -- in law, deeds, words, and social environment -- that they were not 'valuable or valued.' For many -- representing diverse groups from all walks of life -- this is similar to experiencing a non-military form of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), but one covering several generations over.

A Universal Language of Mutual Understanding.

In speaking with a group of conservative white businessmen in Birmingham, Alabama recently, I said that if they had experienced even half of what African-Americans experienced, for even half of the period that African-Americans did, that 'they would be crazy too.' Heads nodded in general agreement from all corners of the room. This was at bottom a common-sense conversation.

I believe that it is wholly reasonable to suggest that -- as a result of their singularly unique experience in America -- fully 70-80% of all African-Americans today are -- respectfully stated -- clinically, undiagnosed, depressed. Brilliant, talented, fully engaged in life, but understandably still very much 'dealing with their stuff.' As is often said in African-American barber shops and salons, 'we have been doing so much, with so little, for so long, we can almost do anything with nothing. And still we rise.'

But an 'in spite of' mentality is very different than a 'because of' mentality. We all need to find a way to adopt, whole or in part, a 'because of' approach to life. A 'what we are for' mentality and agenda. A forward leaning approach to life, rooted in hope.

Surviving Can be Self-Defeating.

One example of how a surviving mentality that is undermining not only traditionally underserved groups, but the whole of America is this: how we treat and see each other today. Look at our civic discourse, or more so the lack of civility. How we see each other. How we treat each other. Look at the 'blood-sport' state of our politics today -- all locked in battle, layered in fear, and featuring almost universally a sense of animosity 'against' someone else, and separation. Even the Bible suggests that 'a house divided cannot stand.' Once again, this is an article of common sense.

"It seems like almost everyone wants to be an American today, except Americans...'

Surviving is Not Enough.

Understandably, even when one 'survives' the challenges placed in front of them as children and adults, people tend to respond differently to the world around them. They 'see' themselves differently, based on what they know to be their own cultural norm. Again, some respond with a survivors mentality, and others with a thrivers mentality.

And herein lies my main point: a survivor's mentality might have succeeded in getting you through your challenges and problems -- but it will take a thriver's mentality to succeed in the highly aspirational, thriver's world that is coming next.

We now live in a thriver's world.

Leaders want to know how you can be relevant to their value-proposition. How can you add value to their enterprise, their project or initiative. Are you relevant to progress?

For both good and bad reasons alike we have today generations of workers, leaders and future builders that have a 'built to survive' mentality -- in a world hooked on thriving. This is big deal, because the talents, skills, approaches, mentality, even the engrained habits to survive in life, are very different from those necessary to thrive in life.

And so, in addition to a continued and noble fight against oppression, and a striving for social justice in our shared society, we also need 'a generational mental software upgrade;' one focused on a new thriving mentality.

Survivors understandably often witness the victim or the victimized.

Thrivers see themselves as the victor in waiting.

Survivors see the world as a glass half empty.

Thrivers see the same glass as half full.

Survivors often focus on the inexcusable offense of others.

Thrivers say that life is 10% what life does to you, and 90% how you choose to respond to it.

Survivors see repeated 'no answers' and failures as a confirmation of institutional bias (which it may be, by the way).

Thrivers 'take no's for vitamins.'

Survivors see run down homes in underserved communities and are further depressed by that.

Thrivers see these same run down properties and view them as opportunities to buy, rehab and rent homes and buildings in these same communities.

Question Bridge: Which mentality runs your day? Which one dictates the moves of and for your life? Which mentality permeates your family's home environment? Do you and your family view the glass of life as half full or half empty? Is your family and self-conversation affirming or defeatist? Why do I ask?

Because whether you believe you can, or whether you believe you can't -- you're absolutely right.

And this --- along with other important unwritten rules of leadership, success and life -- is precisely why I wrote my upcoming book 'The Memo' by Berrett-Koehler Publishing, which comes out in September, 2017.

The Memo is about everything the world never told you or taught you about how money, power, wealth and success actually 'works' in the world. Something I call The 5 Laws of Your Economic Liberation.

Remember -- you are capital. The most important and vital form of capital.

Human capital.

Let's go....

If you would like to hear more on the topic of "Why Some People Fail: Surviving Skills vs. Thriving Skills", here is a recent video posted on John Hope Bryant Facebook Live.

John Hope Bryant is the founder, chairman, and CEO of Operation HOPE, Inc.; CEO of Bryant Group Ventures and The Promise Homes Company; and cofounder of Global Dignity. He has been recognized by the last five US presidents and served as an advisor for the last three. Bryant is the recipient of hundreds of awards and citations for his work, including American Banker’s 2016 “Innovator of the Year,” Inc.’s “The World’s 10 Top CEOs” (honorable mention), and Time’s “50 for the Future.” He is the author of two bestselling books: How the Poor Can Save Capitalism and Love Leadership. His next book, due out September, 2017, is the much anticipated THE MEMO: The 5 Rules For Your Economic Liberation.