Are you Suffering from the “Should” Epidemic ?

Last Tuesday, while standing in my kitchen wearing three-day-old sweatpants and eating cold pizza directly from the fridge at 3 AM, I had an existential revelation: I should?be sleeping. I should?eat healthier. I should have finished my taxes, called my mother, and probably should stop using my gym membership exclusively as an expensive way to feel guilty every time I drive past the building. And in that moment, surrounded by the wreckage of all my shoulds, I realized I’d discovered the single most toxic word in the human language – the verbal cyanide we willingly swallow every day while wondering why we feel paralyzed.

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Ok, all the above is imagined but I do reckon we have crossed these paths.

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Some more imagination- this time see this as the opening sequence of a Hollywood flick- in quick inter cuts you watch a 43-year-old executive in a $3,000 suit nearly burst into tears because he “should” have made partner by now. Two tables over, a woman downed her third martini while texting excuses to the dating app match she “should” be meeting. Meanwhile, the bartender—with $120,000 in student debt for a philosophy degree—muttered about how he “should” be using his education. Three strangers, same prison, identical jailer: a single tyrannical word that’s quietly orchestrating the mass paralysis of human potential. Welcome to the Should Pandemic, where dreams go to die in real time.

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Should is the most seductive,?deceptive, and useless word in the English language. It’s corporate jargon for?let’s pretend we’ll do something. It’s personal denial dressed as intention. And it’s why most people spend their lives?waiting for permission to exist. Let’s burn this word to the ground.

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The Relationship Should-Spiral Nothing kills romance faster than should. You should text back immediately. Should remember their mother’s birthday. Should express emotions exactly like they do. When Prince Harry and Meghan were busy thinking about what they should?do as royals versus what they actually wanted to do, they ended up in a Netflix documentary explaining why they’re now selling scented candles instead.

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The Instagram Should-Festival Social media isn’t just a platform; it’s a should-generating machine. That influencer’s immaculate kitchen suggests you should redecorate. Their vacation photos imply you should travel more. Their relationship posts indicate you should be more romantic. Their workout videos confirm you should exercise harder. Meanwhile, actual influencers are taking 47 shots to get one “candid” photo, filtering relentlessly, and still feeling they should look better. The should factory runs 24/7.

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The Parental Should-Tsunami No human experiences more shoulds per second than a new parent. You should breastfeed exclusively (but not too long). Should sleep train (but not too early). Should stimulate brain development (but not over schedule). Should return to work (but not too soon). Should introduce diverse foods (but avoid allergens). The result is a generation of parents paralyzed in Target and Carrefour aisles, staring blankly at organic baby food options while questioning every life decision. Meanwhile, our grandparents raised children on cigarette smoke and lawn darts, and somehow civilization continued.

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The ‘Should’ Trap: A Masterclass in Procrastination– Should is the linguistic equivalent of a participation trophy. It makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something just by acknowledging it exists. “I should exercise” feels like a step toward fitness, even if you’re lying on the couch eating chips. “I should save money” feels financially responsible, even as you click “Buy Now” on that third pair of sneakers you don’t need. ?But here’s the kicker: should?doesn’t just nudge you toward inaction—it thrives on it. It’s the guilt-tripping parent, the passive-aggressive friend, and the overbearing boss all rolled into one. And the worst part? It’s so damn sneaky.

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Should is the ultimate con artist. It masquerades as responsibility, but it’s really just guilt in a three-piece suit. Every time you say “I should,” you’re not committing to action—you’re confessing to failure. The Should Epidemic in effect is A Pandemic of Procrastination.

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Welcome to the ‘Church of Should.’ – Where sermons are delivered in boardrooms, where dreams die in meeting minutes, and where ambition rots in the graveyard of hesitation. Should is the universal language of self-sabotage. It’s the voice in your head that says, “You’re not good enough,” and then pats itself on the back for being “honest.”

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The Should vs. Could Smackdown– Here’s where it gets interesting. Replace should with could, and suddenly, the world opens up. Should is a judgment; could is an option. Should is a scolding; could is an invitation.? Should is the assisted suicide of human potential.

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Should?is that slick-talking, suit-wearing corporate imposter that?sounds ambitious but gets nothing done.?It masquerades as intent, but all it really does is create?a waiting room for action. And the worst part? We?buy into it, letting it shape our choices, paralyze our decisions, and keep us stuck in?an endless loop of “maybe later.” So, let’s call should out for what it really is—an elegant excuse for inaction.

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The Silicon Valley Should Slaughterhouse Tech bros have elevated should to an art form. You should hustle 24/7. Should disrupt industries. Should network constantly. Should practice radical candor. Should optimize sleep. Should take cold plunges. Should micro dose psychedelics. The result? The highest burnout, divorce, and suicide ideation rates of any industry, all while preaching work-life balance?in company mission statements. Y Combinator’s Paul Graham famously advised start with something embarrassingly small, but modern founders think they should start with something impressively massive—which is why most startups fail before they begin.

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The Wellness Should Slaughter The modern wellness industry isn’t selling health; it’s trafficking in industrial-grade shoulds. You should intermittent fast. Should avoid gluten. Should take 47 supplements. Should track sleep. Should meditate. Should Journal. Should dry brush. Should infrared sauna. The human body survived millennia of famine, predators, and plagues, but apparently now needs a 17-step morning routine to function. Meanwhile, the people selling these wellness shoulds are often one nervous breakdown away from hospitalization. The cruel paradox: nothing undermines wellness like obsessing about wellness.

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The Creative Should Annihilation-?Nothing kills creativity faster than shoulding all over it. You should find your passion. Should monetize your hobby. Should build your personal brand. Should grow your platform. Should post consistently. Should collaborate strategically. The result? People who loved creating now hate the thing they once loved. Mozart never worried about his Instagram strategy. Picasso didn’t fret about his personal brand. Van Gogh sold exactly one painting while alive but kept painting anyway. True creativity exists in the absence of should.

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The Existential Should Carnage – The deadliest shoulds are the existential ones. You should know your purpose. Should make an impact. Should leave a legacy. Should find meaning. Should be happy. These cosmic shoulds create the ultimate paralysis—the inability to simply exist without justification. Ancient philosophers spent lifetimes contemplating these questions without answers, but modern humans think they should solve existence between Zoom calls. The brutal truth? The universe doesn’t care what you should do. The planet will eventually be consumed by the sun. All human achievement will be forgotten. And that’s not depressing—it’s liberating. Nothing matters, which means you get to decide what matters to you.

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Let’s cut the bullshit: should isn’t a word; it’s a socially acceptable form of self-flagellation. It’s expectation dipped in shame, marinated in comparison, and garnished with regret. Every time you say “I should,” you’re essentially saying, “I’m currently inadequate and failing at yet another thing.” And that, dear reader, is a steaming pile of psychological excrement. The most successful people aren’t those who do everything they should—they’re the ones who ruthlessly eliminate “should” from their vocabulary and replace it with “will,” “won’t,” or “who gives a flying fuck what anyone thinks I should do.”

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So the next time someone tells you what you should do—including that dictator in your head—try responding with the only appropriate answer: “Should? Should is dead. And I killed it.” Then go do whatever you damn well please.