Are You Stuck in an Old Identity? How to Evolve and Lead with Confidence.

Welcome back, Flow Community!

I've made it back home from my Montana adventure. After not having working tech for over a week, it feels good to be able to post again! Today, I want to address what it takes to achieve the next level of success you're looking for. Marshall Goldsmith says it very concisely and eloquently with his best-selling book title: What Got You Here Won't Get You There.

The 25th anniversary of my dad's passing is tomorrow, and one thing that always makes me smile when I remember him are the sayings he used to have. One that drove me absolutely bonkers was this: "You can't get there from here. You have to go someplace else to start." He said it tongue-in-cheek whenever he was teasing me, but as I got older, I realized there might be some validity to statement. Because often, as we're looking to better ourselves, we can't get there from where we are. We literally have to go to a new mental space and start fresh.

Let’s get real for a moment and let me ask...

Are you holding onto a version of yourself that’s outdated, like a software update you keep ignoring? You know the one: full of bug fixes, ready to help you run smoother, but you're too stuck in your ways to click "update." It’s time to ask yourself: Is the identity that got you here enough to get you to where you want to go?

The truth is, clinging to an old identity keeps you tethered to old results. If you want to grow, to truly evolve as a leader, you need to break free from that past version of you that no longer serves you. Today, I want to explore how to recognize when you’re stuck in an outdated identity, and more importantly, how to shed it so you can lead with the confidence of who you are now—not who you used to be.

Are You Running an Outdated Program?

I often talk about stubbornness and tenacity. That drive got me through some pretty intense situations—from serious health scares to navigating corporate boardrooms without a college degree. It got me far—until it didn’t. That's the funny thing about our identities. They serve us well, right up until they become a liability.

Think of your identity like a pair of old sneakers. They might have fit you perfectly once, carried you through rough terrain, and helped you win countless challenges. But if you keep wearing those same sneakers even when they’re worn out, what happens? You get blisters. They slow you down. And soon, you’re in pain because you refuse to let go of what no longer serves you. The same goes for the identity you built in response to old experiences. You’ve outgrown it, but it’s comfortable—so you keep wearing it.

What’s Holding You Back?

Mel Robbins always says, "You're not tired; you're uninspired." This is especially true when it comes to clinging to old identities. If you’re feeling disconnected or unfulfilled, it’s probably not your workload, your team, or your circumstances—it’s you. It’s the identity you refuse to let go of that keeps you running in place.

Let’s face it, the identities we cling to are often rooted in fear. Fear of change, fear of the unknown, or fear of admitting that we were wrong about something. But here’s the thing: Fear is a terrible leader. Fear will keep you from the version of yourself that’s capable of bigger, better things.

How to Shed Your Old Identity and Evolve

1. Recognize the Signs of an Outdated Identity
2. Declare Your Evolution Alex Hormozi would tell you to make a decision—and then go all in. The first step to evolving is to decide. Declare that you’re no longer going to be held hostage by the old version of yourself. This isn’t about “discovering” who you are; it’s about choosing who you want to be, and acting accordingly.
3. Act Before You Feel Ready You’re never going to feel “ready” to let go of an identity you’ve worn for so long. You have to move anyway. Take action, show up as the new version of yourself, and prove your fear wrong. Remember, every time you take action from this new identity, you weaken the hold of the old one.

The Upgrade Can Be Painful

While I was in Montana, I had to do a system upgrade on my brother's computer. It was painful. The computer had been locked for over 15 months because someone changed the admin password and refused to share it. Once I got the computer unlocked, I started the upgrade process. First, I was told there wasn't enough memory. Fixed that. Then I was told there were other updates that had to occur before the main upgrade I wanted to install could be performed. Did those. Five hours later...ok, more like two, but it felt like five...I was able to perform the upgrade. Programs became unavailable, some were incompatible, and some had to be deleted permanently.?

When you decide to shift your identity, to go after something different than what you're currently experiencing, these kinds of challenges can happen in your life too, with jobs, colleagues, and even friends.?

The Confidence Comes After the Leap

Confidence doesn’t come from standing at the edge of a decision, weighing the pros and cons. It comes when you leap. It comes from doing the thing that scares you, over and over again, until that new identity is so well-worn that it fits you like a glove.

When I was faced with death, I realized the stubbornness that had gotten me so far was the very thing holding me back. I had to let go of old stories and embrace the truth of who I was now—a survivor, a leader, and someone who was willing to walk a different path, no matter how scary.

Embrace Your Next Version

The version of you that got you here was great, but let’s be honest—if you want different than what you have now, you must evolve. You can be the kind of leader who inspires, grows, and moves with confidence, not because you’ve always known what you’re doing, but because you trust yourself enough to take that next step.

This is your moment to decide: Are you going to stay stuck in an old identity that no longer fits, or are you ready to step into your future and lead with confidence?