Are You Stuck in the Middle? … How to Move Past Your Doubts and Up the Career Ladder

Many (many) years ago there was a song that at times feels like the anthem for a lot of managers and directors that come to me for coaching…

“Clowns to the left of me Jokers to the right Here I am stuck in the middle with you

Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you And I'm wondering what it is I should do It's so hard to keep this smile from my face Losing control, yeah, I'm all over the place…”

Seem familiar?

Being a middle manager can leave you feeling like you’re caught between a rock (your team) and a hard place (your boss :) as you balance the demands of senior leadership and the people whose management and growth are entrusted to you.

It can be an impossible task that leaves you unable to meet the demands of your job, doubting yourself, and potentially burned out.

Unfortunately, when you’re “stuck in the middle” there’s no simple solution.

But there are key skills that you can develop to help you stay resilient in your current role as well as wherever you choose to go in the future... the key word is “choose.”

When you have the tools to determine your future it gives you an important sense of self-efficacy and freedom that’s not only good for your career but also your wellbeing.

That’s why it’s so critical to be continually learning and growing… staying on top of the latest trends, developing your network, and building up those critical soft skills that support you no matter what the situation.

You need to know you have options, even if you have no intention of using them.

So, what are those skills you so desperately need?

Let’s start with the one that comes up most frequently in my coaching sessions, which is confidence, often referred to as imposter syndrome.

Somewhere along the line, you got the message that you weren’t good enough in some way, internalized it, and started to believe it.

Over time, such detrimental thinking can impact everything you do.

It begins small…you hesitate to speak up in one meeting, then another and another until that message that you may not even remember where it came from, becomes true, at least in your mind.

One of the quickest ways you can derail your career is to let others define your value and steal your confidence. ??

…and even if, let’s just say it was a little bit right in a particular moment in time, should you let it define your life?

What matters, right here, right now, is that you get to decide whether it remains true.

But the problem is that you’ve now gathered all this “proof”, it’ll take some time to create new habits, beliefs, and pathways to change that faulty programming.

It’s in the very etymology of the word confidence …con (with) and fidere (trust) … Latin?confīdentia,?from?confīdent-, confīdens?"trusting in oneself.”

Unfortunately, the somewhat ironic reality is that you can only truly trust that you can do something if you’ve done it before, usually many times.

Therein lies the difficulty. To gain confidence you typically have to go and do the very thing you’re avoiding…which kind of sucks, right?

But as you’ve likely experienced before, things are rarely as bad as our frequently out-of-control monkey minds make them out to be.

Remember, confidence isn't something you're born with; it's developed over time.

It's an ongoing journey of self-awareness, understanding, and growth.

But when you stay committed to this journey, and do that difficult work, you'll find yourself not just 'stuck in the middle' but rising above and beyond your previous expectations.

The Simple Steps to the View at the Top

1. Challenge Your Self-talk: Recognize the negative voices in your head and challenge them. Every time you catch yourself thinking you can't do something, turn it around. Ask yourself, 'Why not?'

2. Take Small Risks: Start by setting yourself small challenges that are outside of your comfort zone. The more you step out, the more you’ll get used to being uncomfortable, and the more you'll grow.

3. Celebrate Your Wins: Each time you achieve something, no matter how minor it may seem, give yourself a pat on the back. This continuous reinforcement will build your self-belief.

4. Seek Feedback: Don't be afraid to ask colleagues or mentors for feedback. Constructive feedback can give you a clearer picture of your strengths and areas of improvement.

5. Visualize Success: Spend a few minutes each day visualizing a confident version of yourself. This mental rehearsal can prep your mind for real-life situations.

6. Educate Yourself: The more you know, the more confident you'll feel. Attend workshops, webinars, and seminars related to your field. Knowledge is power.

7. Find a Coach or Mentor: Having someone to guide you, share their experiences, and provide perspective can be invaluable. They've been where you are and can provide insight.

8. Embrace Failure: Understand that failure is a stepping stone to success. Every misstep is a lesson. Embrace them, learn from them, and move on.

9. Stay Updated: Ensure you're up to date with the latest trends and shifts in your industry. This will arm you with the confidence to contribute meaningfully to discussions and decisions.