Are You Struggling to Handle Your Emotions? Try These 3 Simple Steps

This article is inspired by the insights and discussions presented in Episode 56 of The Born to Heal Podcast by Dr. Katie Deming, The Conscious Oncologist.

"When we are developing our social and emotional fluency, we experience more success in all facets of our life, in relationships, in physical, mental, emotional wellness." - Cher Anderton, Mental Health Therapist?

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your emotions, unsure of how to handle them? You're not alone. On a recent episode of the Born to Heal podcast, I spoke with mental health therapist Cher Anderton about social emotional fluency.?

She explained how unprocessed emotions can lead to chronic stress, which has negative effects on your body, weakening your immune system and interfering with sleep. By managing your emotions effectively, you can reduce these harmful impacts.

Cher’s 3 Steps for Processing Emotions:

Step 1: Pause and Breathe

When hit with a strong emotion such as an unexpected layoff notice at work, seeing your ex with a new partner for the first time, or a situation that triggers a past trauma your first instinct might be to react immediately.?

Instead, Cher advises:

• Take a deep breath (or two)
• Give yourself a moment to step back from the situation
• Create space between the feeling and your reaction

This pause is crucial. It allows your nervous system to calm down and gives you time to think more clearly.

Step 2: Identify Your Emotion

Once you've taken that pause, it's time to figure out exactly what you're feeling. Cher recommends using an emotions chart such as the Gottman feelings wheel .?

• Naming your emotion helps you understand yourself better
• It gives you more control over your response
• It allows you to communicate more effectively with others

Step 3: Use Healthy Coping Strategies

"There are two things that shouldn't be on anybody's list... screens. We often feel uncomfortable and we go straight to screens and vices. - Cher Anderton, Mental Health Therapist?

Now that you've identified your emotion, it's time to deal with it in a healthy way. Cher suggests creating a "feel good plan" - a list of healthy coping strategies.

• Physical activity (like a brisk walk or yoga)
• Deep breathing exercises
• Journaling
• Talking to a trusted friend
• Engaging in a hobby you enjoy

By mastering these three steps – pausing, identifying your emotions, and using healthy coping strategies – you're investing in your overall health and well-being. So the next time you feel a strong emotion bubbling up, take a breath, name that feeling, and choose a healthy way to process it.

Make it a Habit

Like any new skill, emotional processing takes practice. As Cher puts it: "It's never too late to unstick those emotions, so to speak, and process them in healthy ways."

Emotions aren't just feelings – they're information from your body and brain. By learning to understand and process this information effectively, you're giving yourself a powerful tool for overall health and wellness.

For a more in depth understanding listen to the Born to Heal Podcast on your favorite podcast platform.?