Are you struggling with breaking through communication barriers in the workplace?

Sometimes we can feel misunderstood and all alone because we feel there isn’t a safe space to voice our thoughts and opinions.

With organisations changing at an accelerated rate, it can feel as if we’re left behind or that our contributions aren’t as impactful.

?Expectations to meet shifting performance targets and keeping everyone around us ‘pleased’ can take its toll.

Many of us have become well-practiced at showing a ‘calm’ exterior while on the inside we are running on an endless cycle of feeling stuck, unheard, and unable to break through inner frustration.?

In the long run, not only will this affect your confidence and self-worth, but it’ll also have a significant impact on your wellbeing.

You’ll realise that you’re not really performing at your best, and the fulfilment you typically feel in the work you do is gradually decreasing.

I understand how you feel.

About 20 years ago, I remember sitting on a park bench at work with a teacher/friend, the Program Director of the Master of Applied Science, Innovation and Service Management.

I was in tears.

I felt stuck, frustrated and on an endless merry-go-round of self-criticism.

I couldn’t focus, was unconfident and unable to take action.

I had been chosen for a new role by the Head of the Organization. The role, the new business unit I was to lead, and the scope of work was mostly unclear to all involved.

It was evolving – as things are when transformation and change is underway.

I understand that now.

While, at that time, I was drowning in my own inner narrative of:

• I don’t know what they expect from me!
• What if I’m not good enough to do it?
• I don’t want to let anyone down...

As my teacher/friend and I talked. I shared my observations of what I was feeling – and he could see my emotions right there front and center on my tearful face.

He started to guide my self-enquiry about what I was seeing in the system. Raising queries for my exploration around: power, authority, role clarity and my take up of role, gender narratives, intention / inception and group dynamics.

This was the key to start lifting myself out of the fearful cycle I had become overwhelmingly consumed by.

It enabled me to explore the context for my triggered feelings and my interpretations.

And recognize that what was happening within me reflected what was in the system.

This self-exploration culminated into a huge sense of relief!

Which resulted in an honest sharing with my manager a few weeks later when I withdrew myself from the position.

As I shared my reflections on my experience and my desire for the role to be held by someone better suited to deliver the requirements for the organization, my manager showed me how connected everything is!

As I shared my story, he proceeded to draw on the whiteboard his experiences of his role and the system.

They were a mirror of what I had felt.

Confusion, lack of clarity, feelings of anxiety and the fear of failure.

This was an eye-opening moment for me.

Another huge moment of relief for which I will always be grateful!

As circumstances unfolded, he departed from his role a few months after I did.

Here’s what I want you to know.

I’ve worked with so many teams and individuals who experience the same, human challenges of change and uncertainty! It’s a very natural challenge. We humans tend to find comfort in a sense of control.

And in change and uncertainty there is very little that is known and predicable. Which pretty much throws a sense of control out the window!

Over time, this can impact our confidence and ability to communicate effectively.

Leaving sticky moments of not knowing what to say when things are unclear as our unspoken or the ‘elephant,’ accumulate over time.

A bit like when you can’t remember that person’s name… it is OK the first or second time you run into them to not use their name. However, after a while, it feels noticeable that you don’t know, and it becomes too awkward to ask!

If we get stuck in that awkwardness, we will never move THROUGH the awkwardness.

It will remain as an obstacle and there will be very little potential for things to shift.

And the potential to shift is where the relief is!

For all involved.

The relief holds invaluable moments of human connection.

Those who feel like they are the only ones feeling that way, quickly find out they are not the only ones!

This happens time and time again in my work with teams and it is a unifying and inspiring space for new growth.

The sharing of new perspectives, seeing ourselves in the other and having more meaningful conversations.?

Meaningful conversations and deeper human connection leads to better outcomes for all.

May you have a magical workday, every day!

Vee

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Vee is known for her ability to help managers and their teams do the ‘human’ stuff, creating connection to enable their technical excellence. She inspires teams and the co-creation of cultures of trust through her authenticity, vulnerability and compassion.

By initiating and holding a safe human space, teams shift from ignoring to embracing the elephant in the meeting room. This breaks old behavioural cycles and opens up new potential for wellbeing and performance.

For over twenty years, Vee has led the human-side of change in business process improvements, large scale, executive projects and team culture. Working with over 30 teams of all sizes across all service areas.

Vee is passionate about supporting individuals and managers who are feeling like they are the only ones stuck in the hamster wheel of the human stuff. She wants you to know, you are not alone!?

Vee is all about co-creating heartful workplaces where we share our unique gifts with each other for greater performance and wellbeing for all. If you enjoyed this article, and would like to receive these direct to your inbox, please leave a thumbs up in the comments.

Contact Vee via LinkedIn: https://www.dhirubhai.net/in/team-collaboration-transformation-melbourne/?or Email: [email protected] or Phone: + 61 402 253 966