Are You Still Trapped in the Past?
Memory is not a reliable medium. As you may be aware, it’s highly selective and capable of warping all the images and sensations of our recollections until our memory bears little resemblance to what really happened. We create stories about the past that grow stronger with every retelling. Eventually the stories replace the events they’re supposed to represent. This is particularly true of our recollection of past relationships.
Have you ever wondered why so many people are irresistibly drawn to their past loves and former close relationships? Despite the fact that the connections did not survive the test of time, it’s very tempting to open up our private catalogue of memories and revisit the object of our former desires. Even if our recollections are mostly a product of our imagination. The principle motivation for retracing our romantic footsteps is easy to understand in terms of dissatisfaction with our present arrangements. When we feel unfulfilled in our relationships, it’s easier to imagine a time in our lives or a particular person that offered the possibility of happiness. Rather than dealing with the reality of our present circumstances and addressing what might be missing, it’s safer to imagine our invented versions of a perfect partner and let our creative interpretation take the place of real-life, loving connections. Because relationships require effort, understanding, patience, communication and compromise. A fantasy about a time that didn’t really exist might assuage feelings of disappointment but they can never be part of the real world where the challenges and rewards are waiting to be experienced. Letting go of the past and channeling our energy into the present is a much better use of our creativity. When you consign your recollections of past loves to the waste disposal unit of irrelevant events, you’ll discover new levels of engagement that will help you to flourish in the present moment, which is the only place where reality is fully available.
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