You Are Special
It's a beautiful thing to have friends who aren't afraid to compliment you through an insult.
Over lunch one day, I was whining to my friend Wil Reynolds about how frustrated I was that a few members of my team weren’t seizing the opportunities to push the limits of work on the projects I had put them on.
Wil asked me what kind of support I was giving them to get them to do that, and I replied that I was putting them in situations to succeed.
Then Wil really laid into me.
“You know what your problem is, Dan?”
Oh boy. Those are trigger words for me. I was ready to fight.
“You think you’re not special. You think that all you had was ‘a shot’ and all you did was take advantage of it to create the success you’ve had, so all everybody else needs is ‘a shot.’ No, you’re talented and ambitious and you have a superpower in turning a opportunity into a good outcome. Other people can’t do that on their own. They need help. They need support. They need guidance and mentorship and coaching. You think you’re being humble by thinking you’re not special and that everyone can do what you can. You’re actually being really arrogant by thinking that and not setting up your teams for success.”
领英推荐
Holy backhanded compliments, Batman! I felt praised and insulted and seen and challenged all at once.
Wil was right. Starting that day, I revamped my agency’s structure such that everyone working on a project got a direct coach and sponsor, from our junior people all the way to our managing director.
I think about Wil’s admonition often. There are probably a handful of things you do that you think are unremarkable, that anyone could do them given the chance.
You're wrong, just like I was.
You're special, just like I am.
Don’t sell others short just because they don’t have the same superpowers you do. Use those powers to set them up for success.
Product Manager
11 个月Thank you for sharing this story, Dan! It’s a great lesson, and one that most be reminded and restated over time. Nearly a decade ago, my then-boss Aya O'Connor said to me, “Kelli, other people are not like you.” I was holding people to a standard that they had no idea existed; I was expecting them to find things that were easy for me to be easy for them, too. It was a shocking and important lesson, and one that I am revisiting now with this article. ??
Technical Writer | Graphic Designer | Critical Thinker | Visual Storyteller
11 个月This really resonated with me. I have often thought that what I do is nothing special, that others can do the same thing just as well. But I forget that what comes easy to me may not be easy for others. Thanks for the reminder.
Product executive, advisor, author, artist & recovering CEO.
11 个月Right on! About a year ago I painted a huge black canvas with the words "YOU'RE VERY SPECIAL" in gold leaf emblazoned across the black paint. Visitors ask, is that supposed to be sarcastic or motivational? The answer, of course is "yes." Be special and stay grounded.
Sr. UX/UI Designer en Applaudo
11 个月Let's go!!! ??
Mission-Driven Leader | Technology Integration | Innovation | Strategy | Operational Efficiency
11 个月Wow, this hit home completely Dan. I’ve never heard advice put that way: “You think you’re being humble by thinking you’re not special and that everyone can do what you can. You’re actually being really arrogant by thinking that and not setting up your teams for success.” I have some work to do. Thanks for sharing!