Are you Sowing? or Reaping?

You just met someone new.

Maybe you even started using my awesome icebreaker question in my previous article.

Now what?

From here, you can go down two pathways (as you might have guessed from the title).

Sadly, most people take the Reaper Approach.

Have you ever experienced any of these behaviors in a conversation? (or maybe have you been the reaper?)

• Monopolizing the Conversation: One person dominates the discussion, focusing on their own experiences, thoughts, and interests without showing genuine curiosity about the other person.
• Taking Advantage: It becomes evident pretty quickly when someone enters a new relationship or friendship primarily to gain something for themselves.
• Manipulating for Personal Gain: It can happen when someone tries to manipulate the situation or the person they just met to achieve their own goals or objectives without considering the other person's well-being.
• Showing Disinterest: Someone might show a lack of interest in the other person's life, feelings, or opinions, only focusing on what they want to talk about or do. aka... the person who reaps all the attention for themselves.

I've had a travelling job for over 12 years now.... and I've literally met 1000s of reapers. Some may actually be great people, they just suck at making true connections with the people they meet.

So.... what does this have to do with professional growth and development?

Great question! Let's get into today's lesson.

LEARN FROM OTHERS EXPERTISE IN NEW CONVERSATIONS

Sure... it may sound like work. That's because maybe most of us say we "care"... but in reality we are actually selfish.

Here's how I actually do this.

1. I ASK questions to learn more. Because I actively listened and understood why they love to do what they do, I've actually positioned them as the expert that I can learn from. I am always surprised at peoples specific knowledge and skill sets on a WIDE variety of topics. I ask deeper questions to allow them to teach and give their knowledge, lessons, and experience to me. I AM ALWAYS LEARNING when I meet someone new.
2. I OFFER specific help. Again, because I actively listened and understood the persons needs, concerns, challenges, and motivations... I typically share a relevant book, story, video, or article or PERSON they should connect with. Sometimes it is right on the spot, or sometimes it is a few days later. I find ways that I can give without expecting anything in return.

Now down the road.... will I get a chance to share all my stories and ideas? Of course... but most of the time its only because now they are genuinly interested in what I do. At that point, I am not the reaper... because we made a real connection.

By always approaching new conversations as a learning experience, I continually improve my own skillsets, my perspectives, and my ability to add value to others. And it actually makes me a fun person to be around. -Dan

Lets get into action.

ACTION TIME:

1. The next time you meet someone new, I want you to picture a reaper in your head. (think of the picture I put up on the top of this article). DONT BE THE REAPER. BE THE LEARNER instead.
2. Think about conversations you've had in the past where you were the reaper. Maybe its time to reach out to that person and change up the dynamic. Allow them to be the expert. Allow them to share their stories without your opinions. See what gold you could actually learn from them!

Thanks again for taking a moment to read through this article! I appreciate your time and focus, and look forward to continuing to provide fresh, actionable content week after week. We as leaders need to inspire growth and learning in the workplace... and many times we need to learn just as much as the people we lead!

Your Friend,

Dan