"You Are SO Self-Centered"!

How often have you thought of a person, a co-worker, family member or boss, and thought "Damn! They are SO Self-centered! It's all about THEM!"? Perhaps you even used the words "selfish" or "egoist" when describing someone you know or work with.

Well, guess what. So are you. So am I. We are ALL Self-centered! When you ask a person to describe the top 3 priorities of their life, usually the answer is something like "Family, God, Career..." or "God first, then, family, community", or "Kids, Partner, Job". Rarely does a person put themselves on the list, let alone the top of of the category. Why? Because that would make them Selfish or Self-Centered. Truth is, no matter who or what you put on your list, you are human. Humans are born to BE self- centered. It's called SURVIVAL! We are wired to BE self-centered! BUT that doesn't make you or I a bad person. So can you be a giving "selfish" person? Absolutely!

"Centered Self" vs. "Self-Centered"

Every day I wake up (after coffee, of course) and I say the mantra "What can I do today that will help me be more a "Centered Self"? Usually that then gets me to thinking about the days agenda, and the chances I will have during my days events to do something for someone else. A chance to do something for other "self-centered humans just like me" in my community and beyond. It's hard sometimes. Days when I just don't want to get out of bed. Days I think the world is against me and whatever can go wrong did, the day prior. Those days, especially, are the ones I've found to get the most positive impact of change when I do something toward being more of a "Centered Self".

How to get to your "Centered Self"?

For me it's all about awareness and how to learn to step out of your own bubble ego and look around you. I do have a problem with being more empathetic than sympathetic, and I'm working on that! (That I'll save for another story!). Small things you do daily can really get you outside your ego bubble. Whether your agenda includes a trip to the grocery store or getting gas or even a four star hotel (if you're so lucky!), whoever is servicing your needs, take a look at their name tag. Call them by their name and ask how their day is going. This is something I've done ever since I was little, and that's mainly because I'm very curious, or maybe I'm just nosey. But really LISTEN to that person. It might be the first real nice interaction they've had all day from a customer, and you just learned something new about someone else. How great is that?! You've just connected our community by that simple act. Numerous times I've done this and seen a face light up, which, being the "self-centered human" that I am, made me feel good! See, now there's the "ego" pay off! It's all a win-win! One woman at CVS said to me "thank you for taking the time to ask me! You've just made my day!". Simple and doesn't cost you a dime.

Road rage? Trust me, I have it BAD! But I'm getting much better and it's really helped me to focus on my center for self quest. For example, now when out of the blue someone cuts me off and then gives me the middle finger, instead of cussing and putting pedal to the metal and chasing after the dude, I think to myself "there must be a reason this person is in a hurry, perhaps to their sick child, or they're a Doctor who is needed". Albeit they shouldn't drive radically, it calms my own self by thinking with a bit of sympathy because, lets' face it. We've ALL cut someone off once or twice, right?

I am a firm believer that every word out of a persons mouth, every thing a person does, has the potential to make positive or negative effects on a constant momentum. I think of it as skipping stones on a lake and the waves it creates. If you are the stone thrower, you're responsible for those waves. I, in turn, am also responsible for the waves that come from a stone thrown, as we all are, and what I do with the waves. Yet if we, all us selfish, egoist, self-centered humans took just a few moments to change our perception of how we act and treat others, we can look forward to more people of Centered-Self personality qualities and less of what the negative selfishness behavior as we perceive it to be, can bring great changes for not just our community, but the world.

It's a journey. Every day is a new change. Every minute. Every encounter. Every action. Every challenge is a chance to be a little more selfish. In a good way!