WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU KEEP FAILING
Photo: Eduardo Flores for Unsplash

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU KEEP FAILING

“Maybe It Will Work Out This Time.”

Have you ever said that to yourself? Starting a new job, interviewing for the 100th time, getting married for the 2nd or more time, dating a new person, starting a new weight loss program, switching majors in college, moving to a new city, etc. The sad truth is that it probably won’t work out if you go into it with this thought. Wishful thinking doesn’t get you very far. You can muster up some enthusiasm to start a new endeavor but unless you’ve changed on the inside, you won’t do much better on the outside than you did last time.

To truly succeed, you’ve got to give up the old labels, the old habits, the old mindset, that landed you in misery in the first place.

Getting actions in-line with values, intuition, gut, and heart are what will lead to lasting positive change. Worrying about what works for others only leads to more failure.

How many more times can you handle it before you call it quits, give up, settle, and abandon your dream entirely?

Once that failure pattern takes hold, it will kill your spirit over time. You will develop unhealthy coping mechanisms like drama-filled relationships, diversions like tv or shopping, food or alcohol over-consumption or even pills, and more bad habits that you don’t want and with time, the change will become much, much harder.

How do you prevent all of this? Mindset.

Mindset is such a short yet loaded word. It is the invisible glue that holds dreams together. It is the magic between success and failure. It is like air, invisible yet indispensable. Don’t think because you can't see it that it doesn’t matter. It is more powerful than the most tangible elements. Around every successful person is an aura of energy you can’t see but you can feel and it is entirely fueled by mindset.

Subconsciously, we are all operating under labels. If previously you had bad luck with a sport, you may avoid trying any new sports. Your subconscious mind is telling you "I'm not good at sports." This statement is holding you back from reaching your optimal health. If you suffered from obesity in childhood, you may still be carrying around the inner thought "I am fat." and let this keep you from losing weight long-term. At work, you may once long ago have been criticized for your something like your accent or your lisp so subconsciously told yourself "I'm not a good speaker" so you avoid presenting your ideas or speaking up in meetings and this is holding you back from promotion opportunities. These are only a few examples.

So how does your mindset work? It is your internal operating system. The first step is self-awareness. Can you hear the inner voices? An inner coach and a saboteur voice are telling you what to do all day long. No, it isn't crazy. This is normal. It is like a radio with only two stations. Which voice do you listen to? I like to teach clients to change the channel. We switch from the 'assy' channel to the 'sassy' channel. I want you to be bold, courageous, empowered, and fearless. That is what SASSY stands for. You can change the inner dialogue. Replacing the old labels with new ones is possible, from "I am fat". to "I am fit". We can tell ourselves "I am the kind of person who eats healthy and works out." or "I am the kind of person who presents well my ideas and has a strong presence in meetings." We can re-train your self-talk.

Why is this so important? People all want results like "Get Promoted" or "Get Fit" but the truth is that it is a mindset that drives your habits and your habits are the actions that control the outcome. The intangible element influences the tangible results. We need to start with the mindset and over time, your habits will reflect what you tell yourself. Coaches are good at finding blind spots too that you may not see yourself at first. This is the key to lasting results. Don't waste your time or money on starting or continuing endeavors without first tackling your mindset. If you want true success, you must work on the invisible side.

Do you want to know how to get unstuck and finally get on the path to your dreams? When you are ready, when you’ve had enough of trying and failing, it's time to work on your mindset. You don't have to do it alone. It's time to Become Savage.

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For Those able... GET UP DRESS-UP / SUIT-UP SHOW UP ON TIME EACH TIME EVERY TIME ... and, then... ‘Engage/Improvise/Adapt/Overcome/Achieve = CAN-DO'!

For Those able... GET UP DRESS-UP / SUIT-UP ON TIME EACH TIME EVERY TIME ... and, then... ‘Engage/Improvise/Adapt/Overcome/Achieve = CAN-DO'!

Daniel Kimori

Administrator at Office of the Deputy President

5 年

Insightful article!

RICK ZYSK

Old hippie at Retired, Enjoy helping others

5 年
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