Are you "shoulding" all over your career?
Makeda Alleyne
Coach | Keynote Speaker | Trainer | Helping professional women become UNSTOPPABLE so they stand out in their career, land their dream job, and finally start their business!
You know what I mean. You spend all day telling yourself what you “should” do.
- I should stay in my job because transitioning is too risky
- I should get more experience before going after what I'm actually interested in
- I should just be grateful I have this job
- I should stick it out for a little bit longer
- I should stay in the industry I have experience in
- I should wait before I start looking for a new role
What are YOUR career shoulds?
Whatever they are, I can guarantee you this… all they do is create undue and unwanted pressure!
Pressure that comes from strict and rigid expectations about how you "should" behave. These are almost always rooted in some external influence. Be it from family, friends, society, culture… they all feed into beliefs of what our career "should" look like.
My client Tosin* knows all too well about external influences. When asked why she’s considering spending yet another year in a job she doesn’t even enjoy, her immediate response was “I should stay for at least 3 years, if not I’ll look like a job hopper!”
Now where on earth did that belief come from?!
What Tosin and so many of us lose sight of, is how to tap into our WANTS.
With so many of our life choices being driven by “should”, it's super easy to forget how to identify what we actually want.
Now, I’m not talking about what you "should" want, I’m talking about what you truly and genuinely want for yourself!
- What do you want your career to look like in 10 years?
- How do you want your career to complement your life?
- What do you want more of in your career?
- What do you want to be known for?
- What passions or interests do you want to pursue?
What do you want?!
Because here’s a reminder in case you forgot… your wants are valid.
Let me say that again for the people at the back. YOUR WANTS ARE VALID!
And when you spend your days in a job that you don’t truly want to do or that isn’t aligned with who you truly are, you dishonour yourself AND your value.
Is it easy to make the shift to tapping into your wants? Like everything else worth fighting for, it requires courage and the desire to make a change.
But here’s a quick and super powerful reflection for you.
- Think about your current role, all that it encompasses and what you spend the majority of your days doing. Think about how you feel at the end of each day. Think about how you feel on Sunday nights when you’re prepping for the upcoming week.
- Now think about what you’re super interested in and passionate about. Think about your favourite skills to use and the type of environment you thrive in. Think about what you want to be known for. Think about what you would choose to do if you were 100% fearless!
- Now go back to your current role and ask yourself…
“Do I actually want to do this job, or do I just think that I should?”
Because if there's one thing I know for sure, it's that life is way too short to dedicate your precious time and energy to a job that you don't truly want to do!
Now if you know deep down that there is something else you want to do with your career, but don’t quite know what that is or how to start, let me show you how!
Join me on Wednesday 26 February for my FREE LIVE Webinar on “How to Get Absolute Clarity on Your Career Next Steps in 2020 – Even If You Feel Stuck, Overwhelmed or Fearful Right Now”.
You'll discover:
?? How to pinpoint the career that leaves you feeling energised and fulfilled
?? How to get over your fears so you can start taking action once and for all
?? Why you absolutely don’t need perfectly aligned experience to get your dream career
It’s time to stop shoulding all over your career and start building one that you actually want!
Save your seat here: https://bit.ly/CareerClarityWebinarFeb
Can’t wait to share more with you then!
Makeda
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Makeda is an award winning Career Change Consultant operating globally. She specialises in helping ambitious professionals who feel stuck or unfulfilled get clarity on their career next steps, so they can overcome their fears about making a change and create a career that leaves them inspired and motivated!
Email: [email protected]
Stress Management Consultant & Wellness Expert | Sunday Times Best Selling Author | International Speaker | Co-Founder of Unstressable | Host of the Podcast Unstressable | Reiki Master (Speaking enquiries via website)
4 年Great article Makeda ! We spend so much time doing things we think we should do - instead of what we authentically want to do!
Helping Founders & Executives increase productivity & revenue, by providing flexible & virtual PAs & EAs
4 年Love this! You're so right! (PS I love the word 'shoulding'!)
Trauma Informed Neurodiverse Speaker | Educator | Mindset Coach for Emerging and Established Christian Neurodiverse Women in Business
4 年You raised so really good points. For instance, a lot of 'shoulds' are external.? Whereas, our wants are more personal and obviously are internal.
Senior Communications Lead at IMD
4 年There's a horrid little mantra drummed into a lot of us as children... "'I want' never gets"... we learn to ignore our wants. The good news is it's never too late to unlearn!?