Are You Settling for Less than What You Deserve in Your Career?

Some people don’t even realise that they lack self worth. It has become so deeply entrenched in them over the years, they don’t realise that they are settling for scraps when they deserve to feast at the table.

Many of us do it.  Settle for less because deep down, we don’t believe we are capable of better, or that we deserve better. This could be as a result of your background, or your upbringing. It could be because of something that you have experienced as an adult that has had a negative impact on how you view yourself. If you didn’t have that self belief instilled in you growing up, you may have grown up settling, and have come to accept that this is your lot.

When gratitude is not a good thing

I believe we should all be grateful for what we have, and that we can always find something to be grateful for. But there can be a downside to gratitude for the woman who lacks self worth. Because she believes she has to settle, because she doesn’t see her worth and entitlement, she is so grateful for the little she is given that this stops her playing big.

It stops her dreaming for her desires. It stops her from exploring what she is capable of. And it stops her from tapping in to her full potential.

This could be relationships, it could be her job. It could be putting limitations on what she wants out of life. And because of this, it then becomes easy to stay in a comfort zone, sticking with things you are familiar with.

It doesn’t have to be like that

If where you are at is where you want to be, there is nothing wrong with that. Not every woman wants to become CEO, or have a 7 figure business. Some women just want to get by, and that is ok. But if you are settling for less than what you deserve because deep down you don’t believe that you are worthy, or you’ve accepted the status quo, it doesn’t have to be like that.

Just because something has always been, it doesn’t mean that it has to stay this way. You can be believing for more out of life, your career, and you do deserve it.

Whatever the circumstances you were born in to, whatever card life has dealt you, you don’t have to accept it as your lot. You can change things, but that change has to start with you.  You need to peel back the layers and ditch the labels that have been placed on you (or that you have placed on yourself).

You may look at someone who seems to have it all together, the confidence, the success in their job, the happy, thriving relationships, and feel that you are so far removed from ever having that. But if you want more, you’ve got to believe for more. You’ve go to believe that you deserve more, and that you are worth more.

If you believe you will never make it, then you probably won’t

Our beliefs shape our reality. If you believe that you will never make it to CEO, then you probably never will. If you believe that you will never have fulfilling relationships, then that is what you will get. Your beliefs will cause you to act according to what you believe, and if you are lacking self belief and self worth, changing what you believe about yourself, will change how you feel.

If your limiting beliefs are entrenched, how can you tell that you are settling for less, or if where you are at in your career is where you really want to be?

Some signs you might be settling

Do you feel passion for what you do, or does it constantly feel mundane? Do you wake up every morning wishing you could pull the covers back over your head, not wanting to go to work? Or do you leap out of bed as soon as the alarm goes, excited about the day ahead?

Have you gone for promotion a few times, or for a new role, and been knocked back once too often, resigning yourself to it’s not meant to be? Do you just go through the motions, or does what you do light you up? These are just a few of the signs that you might be settling and not realisng exactly what you are worth.

You may be wondering how you can change such entrenched beliefs and if so, challenge what it is that you believe about yourself, your environment, your upbringing, what you are capable of, and so on. Just because you believe it, it doesn’t automatically mean that it is true.

Reconnect with the real you

Sometimes we can become so misaligned with our values that it’s as if we lose who we truly are. We lose sight of the things that really matter to us, the things that go to the core of who we are. How does your work, or your life align with your values? If you’ve become so disconnected from your values, so much so that you are not quite sure what is important to you anymore, it might help to think of times when you have felt offended.

Those moments when you have felt offended, may be because something has gone against your values. For example, a while ago, I saw someone promote something which I knew wasn’t true. In fact, it was creating a false impression and many people who it was targeted at were oblivious to it. Integrity is something that is important to me, and what this person was doing lacked integrity. That was why I felt the way that I did.

Do you focus on your strengths, or spend all your time trying to fix your weaknesses?

Many people put a lot of emphasis on trying to remedy their weaknesses, so much so that they become their main focus. If all you do is focus on what you’re not good at, or what you can’t do, or if you’re in an environment where the only recognition you get is being reminded about your weaknesses, you’re not going to feel good about yourself.

When we utilise our strengths, we are naturally more confident, more motivated and our overall well being is enhanced. Look at how you can utilise your strengths more in your work. If your role doesn’t allow you to utilise your strengths, you may want to ask yourself whether that is really the job for you.

There will most likely be things that need doing that don’t play to your strengths, no matter what job you are in, however, if you are consistently focused on your weaknesses, or being judged by them, what impact do you think it will have on how you feel about yourself?

You don’t have to settle for less because settling is what you have always done. Be believing for more, because you are worth it and you deserve it. And if you can’t see this by yourself, get support from someone who will help you to.

ABOUT ME:

I am The Coach for High Achieving Introverted Women, an Executive, Career, Business Coach, Writer, Speaker, LinkedIn Top Voice UK 2017 and the founder of Abounding Solutions . With over 25 years coaching and leadership experience, I help women (with a particular emphasis on introverted women) to be authentic, bold, confident leaders and excel in their careers and businesses.

I also help organisations develop the talent pipeline of female employees so that more women make it to senior management roles.

Are you a high achieving introverted woman who wants to thrive as a leader and learn how to deal with the challenges that introverted women face as leaders, and want to become your best possible authenic self? If so, join my Facebook community for high achieving introverted women here.

All high achieving women who want to be authentic, bold, confident leaders and excel in their careers and businesses are welcome to join my other, more general community of High Achieving Women here

If you are a senior introverted woman, and a member of a senior management team or executive team. Come and join the conversation here.