Are You Serving or Pleasing Those Around You?
Dr. Ian A. Roberts
Leading Schools and Districts to Optimal Transformation through Proven Empathetic Leadership. Elevating Schools to Excellence |?? Leadership in Education ?? Olympic Athlete and Cultural Responsiveness Expert!
As leaders, we often find ourselves reflecting on our relationships—professional, personal, and otherwise. A question worth pondering is: Are we serving or merely pleasing those around us?
Consider this scenario: You know a colleague is struggling with stress-related health issues, yet you continue to overload them with tasks because they never say no. Are you helping them grow, or are you contributing to their burnout? According to the World Health Organization, excessive stress can lead to serious health problems like hypertension, heart disease, or stroke. It's a reminder that our choices impact not just business outcomes but people's well-being.
In his book Crazy Good, Steve Chandler distinguishes between serving and pleasing. He shares, "When I was a desperate, suicidal alcoholic and you made me a strong drink, you were pleasing me. If instead, you took me to a Twelve-Step meeting, you were serving me."
So, in your leadership role, do you prioritize serving or pleasing? Pleasing often involves making someone happy in the short term, sometimes at the expense of long-term benefits or your own values. It might stem from a desire for approval or a fear of conflict. Serving, on the other hand, is about genuinely supporting others—even if it means having tough conversations or making unpopular decisions. It's rooted in empathy and a commitment to others' growth and well-being.
The ancient philosopher Socrates offered a valuable lesson with his Three Filters Test:
1. Truthfulness: Is what you're about to say true?
2. Goodness: Is it something good or positive?
3. Usefulness: Is it beneficial or necessary?
If what we communicate doesn't pass these filters, perhaps it's better left unsaid. This principle encourages us to engage in meaningful, constructive dialogue.
As leaders across industries, it's crucial to find a balance between serving and pleasing. When we serve, we focus on the greater good, foster trust, and inspire others to reach their potential. Pleasing might offer immediate gratification but can undermine authenticity and long-term success.
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Moving Forward
Let's commit to:
- Practicing Radical Empathy: Understand and share the feelings of others, but also guide them towards constructive outcomes.
- Communicating with Integrity: Ensure our words are true, good, and useful.
- Making Purposeful Choices: Opt for actions that serve others, even if they're not the easiest or most immediately rewarding.
By doing so, we not only enhance our leadership but also contribute to a more positive and productive environment for everyone.
Quote to Ponder:
"Radical empathy is a commitment to understanding others' experiences while guiding them towards truth, goodness, and usefulness."
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1 天前As a wife stay-at-home mother social worker by profession and the Founder and President of our our family business and organization A-NOD For Situational Awareness LLC and A-NOD INC service on how comes from the the Author of Service, Jesus. He showed us by example as He is the Word of how our Father spoke into being what servitude is on this side of Heaven. If we don't first see the person in front of us rather their condition we will never be able to meet that person where they are, to be a presence for them, in the awareness of what, advocate for the how and how to aid if asked not judgementally and or critically especially when our loved ones deal with situational anxieties, invisible disabilities, and sensory health concerns while in the presence of our First Responders, who may also be dealing with their concerns, yet aren't able to be transparent for many reasons overall the need for resources and accommodations needed for all support and safety matter. More importantly we "do not need to place more bandaids 'to please' rather we need to come together and heal the gaps and work together", doing so is service leadership. Diane Thacker A-NOD.com
Owner
3 周Serving can only be accomplished if the employer is there to lead their leaders and support their staff in a positive direction. Love, Listen, Learn, and Lead.
Financial Services Transformative Leader
3 周I agree 100%
Associate Executive Director For Urban Dreams, Consultant For Evelyn K. Davis Center for Working Families
3 周One must determine if your efforts are aligned with the needs of your community, or are they driven more by a desire to gain approval or recognition? Serving means focusing on what truly benefits others, even if it doesn’t always garner immediate praise. That’s the conundrum.
Focusing on service creates lasting and meaningful relationships. To find balance, I start with clear communication and a genuine commitment to the success of others.