Are you seeking feedback, or are you just open to it?

This is the first of a series of articles on Distinctions.

Part of my job involves reviewing 360 assessments with our clients, and this can often be a tricky emotional journey to navigate. It's always nice to have a situation where the manager, peers, and direct reports score someone higher than they scored themselves - it can be a confidence-booster and usually leaves people feeling good. It's a sign that others appreciate us even when we're hard on ourselves.

But sometimes it goes the other way, where someone scored themselves high and others scored them lower. Often this is a blindspot being brought to light, and it isn't usually easy to hear. Important to hear, but not easy.

One question on a common 360 we use almost always results in the latter scenario:

"Seeks suggestions/input from the total team"

At least 3 out of 4 times, people score themselves highly on this one, and their peers and reports score them much lower. After having quite a few conversations with leaders who are confused, frustrated, or sometimes hurt by the feedback, I've figured out a key distinction in this situation. It's the distinction between being open to input and seeking input.

Being open to input and suggestions is a wonderful thing, and a key trait of many effective leaders. It involves creating a culture where people feel comfortable speaking up and believe in our open door policy. It is training ourselves not to interrupt or project defensiveness, whether getting suggestions one-on-one or in front of a group. We show openness by demonstrating good listening skills and showing appropriate consideration of other people's ideas. Body language and non-verbals are very important here. Being open to input is SO very important.

But it is also passive. It requires action on someone else's part first, not ours. Being open is step two.

Even if we are truly open to everyone's ideas and suggestions - if we fail to actively seek input, we can fool ourselves into thinking noone has anything to offer and everyone is perfectly fine.

Seeking input involves us taking the lead to ask for feedback, even if there hasn't been any indication that we need to. It could happen one-on-one and very informally, and it could happen with a group in a brainstorming session. We could seek input on a project, on our business processes, on our culture, or on our individual leadership style - anything involved in our business. It requires a great deal of vulnerability, and it demonstrates a great deal of leadership savvy.

In a 2013 study published in Harvard Business Review, surveying over 50,000 executives, the leaders who ranked in the top 10% in asking for feedback were rated, on average, at the 86th percentile in overall leadership effectiveness.

As we get better at seeking feedback, we get input from more voices and perspectives. You took the first step, so it becomes easier for others to take the next step and respond. You'll hear people say things like, "Well, since you asked..." - which translated usually means, "I've been thinking about this but didn't see it as important enough to say before". This is also one of the reasons why 360 surveys, engagement surveys, and the like can catch us off guard - we haven't actively sought input from the reserved voices.

Once we seek input, we'll then want to demonstrate our openness to it. Seek first, then be open. It's a powerful combination. When practiced in a culture of trust, it brings more people to a higher level of contribution and ownership.

Seek first, then be open.

Some people on your team won't ever need the invitation - being open to input is enough for them, and they'll give you all the input you ever wanted (and more). But others are waiting for the invitation from you - they've got something to say and contribute, and they're waiting for us to seek them out.

Who do you need to seek input from today?

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For more on getting contributions when you seek input, check out this other great piece from Harvard Business Review.