Are you a secret leader and if so, is that okay?

I remember eleven years ago I was hired to teach Special Ed. Inclusion at Duluth High School in Georgia. My Coteacher, Ms. P***, seemed to be in competition with me. I told the students they should have as much respect for me as they do for her. The students used to undermine my authority often. They treated white teachers like Queens. They treated me like a peasant.

One day I said "Ms. P*** and I both have been teaching for five years and we both have a Masters degree. We make the same salary and have basically the same job at the same school." (We both have MBAs.)

At the sound of that, Ms. P*** then went out of her way to go online and research my graduate school, American Intercontinental University, and falsely claimed that my school was invalid because they lost their accreditation. She was so happy to throw that information up in my face like "Aha! Gotcha!" She was so proud of her findings. It was at that moment that I knew she was racist or maybe prejudice. Why would someone search the internet to look for a person's educational background if there is no malice between you and that person? I was always cordial and I helped her students a lot.

AIU had trouble with their accreditation in the past, however they were fully accredited when I graduated from there in the year 2007.

In 2014, when I moved back to Texas Ms. P*** called and asked me to send her my lesson plans. She specifically requested the lesson plan I wrote to teach highschool students how to write a research paper. She was in Georgia and I was in Texas. Why did she even think about me while she was looking for lessons, I wondered?

She accused me of having an invalid college degree, however she called me from states away to request my assistance. That is weird.

I must admit her false claims really affected me. Subsequently, I enrolled in Abilene Christian University and earned a second Masters degree...this time in Education. I did that just to prove to myself that I was indeed equal to her. Once I held TWO Master degrees, I felt vindicated. I never told her, but my self esteem was shaken by her accusation and returning to college (a third time) helped me bounce back. I proved to myself that I was not invalid, lower than anyone or dumb. I felt proud for the first time in my life and I know those degrees can never be taken away.

Fast forward to Johnson 6th Grade School in Everman...year 2017...There, I was a Behavior teacher. One day I wrote an email explaining that one of my students was attending the wrong class and needed to be placed in a self contained Special Education class instead. My email was ignored...A few days later, the Special Ed Dept. chair sent an email to the Sped. team stating that she thinks the student is misplaced. She acted as if I had not already stated the same thing a few days before. They moved the child from my class and credited the Sped. Dept. chair for making the great call. It was my call. What? Am I invisible?

At that time I did not know what I know now.

That same year, it happened again. I wrote an email to the Sped. Chair stating that one of my students is in need of psychological services. She became irrate and told me I had no credentials to make such reccomendations. Then she called a meeting to angrily confront me about it. I stood my ground. Facts are facts. They did not scare me. It was like five people glaring at me in that meeting.

A few days later, a Psychologist showed up at my classroom door. She observed my student for several months and verified his mental needs.

I was right. He did need her.

Why was the Dept. chair so upset?

I only stated the truth.

Now zoom to year 2022...I was teaching in Fort Worth ISD, and I heard one leader announce changes to how they want lesson plans written. Was it just a coincidence that the changes were the exact format I had already created and used several times?

When I enter classes, I often see presentations that I created and shared. Teachers are always very grateful, however, I have never received any acknowledgement from those in leadership.

I am great, aren't I?

You take my ideas and pretend they are your own. Doesn't that mean I am great? Why won't they say it? Can I get a gold sticker, pat on the back, something?

To the contrary, I have been written up probably 13 times in my 16 year career.

I am tardy a lot. Sometimes I turn in my lesson plan late. Sometimes I don't respond to emails and the Admins get angry and write me a warning letter. In 2018, one AP even threatened to call the proffessional standards commitee on me because I told her "If writing me up makes you feel good, write me up a thousand times. I don't care." She was pissed.

This morning as I entered my job, my coworker. Ms. C thanked me for sending her some lesson plans. She said, "You are really good! Thank you!" I said, "I am?" She loves how I write. She was ecstatic as she explained how much I have helped her. Then it dawned on me... And right then I made up a new term...

I am a secret leader.

All of these years I have been sharing brilliance and receiving little to no credit for it. I don't get credit because, due to no fault of my own, I am a secret leader.

I assist people in secret. I am like secret millionaire. I am like a ghost writer. I am a natural at it. I have been leading teams in secret my whole career. Even as a first year teacher, my ideas were always followed. I welcomed it. It was no big deal at all... It reminds me of a wise quote that I once heard;

"Do more

than what you are paid for today,

and one day

you will be paid for

more than what you do."

Tell me, Is it cool to be a secret leader? Why don't you just pop out...Why don't you just come out of hiding, you might ask yourself...What am I afraid of?

It is just the hatred, I guess.

I don't even try to take over. I am just a natural leader and that makes some "official leaders" uncomfortable, I suppose. I really don't know for sure. Maybe deep down I like playing small. Maybe I really don't want any credit, gold star or pat on the back. Maybe I am terrified of being a REAL leader. OFFICIAL...Hey! That might be it! Ah well...at least I got it off my chest... I feel better now....

Are you a secret leader?

If so, do you

believe

that is a good place

to be?