Are you scared

Fear is one of the most common and effective ‘behaviour change’ methodologies out there. It’s timeless, it’s simple, and it usually gets the results you want.

For a while at least.

It crops up in the way people lead, the way they interpret the world and respond to it. I’ve also seen a surge in the way it is used to sell products (particularly online) over the last few months, or the way people engage in business.

You might recognise fearful leadership in its more blatant forms:

• “These people are out to get us! We need to respond…” or perhaps;
• “Do what I’m asking or you’re outta here!” or;
• “Your numbers better be higher than this next quarter…”

Perhaps you’ve also noticed it crop up over and over again in more subtle ways. Phrases like:

• “in these unprecedented times…”
• “in the midst of such uncertainty…”
• “with all the madness around you…”

Usually rounded off with some kind of pitch, such as: “we can help you feel more stable…”

Fear sells, it would seem.  

It plays on the vulnerability of people trying to make sense of their place in the midst of a complicated world. It activates something primal within us, something that makes us feel as if we have to take action.

The problem with fear is that it doesn’t actually work across the long-term. It’s the triple-espresso of the leadership world: immediate results with a massive crash later. Another problem is that it violates an innate ethic that exists among us. Fear is manipulative, it’s authoritarian, it’s autocratic in the worst of ways. Practically speaking it’s also not the way in which people want to be led.

A recent article published by WA Today documents what they call a ‘generational war’ unfolding between different demographics of medical professionals in the WA health care system. The ‘older’ form of leadership is said to be bullish, abrasive and punitive whereas the younger students coming in have been raised on empathy and collaboration. Investigations are well underway in this case, but one thing is clear: tensions are mounting as modes of leadership transition.

Fear-based leadership models are still rampant, but they are being challenged.

As someone who works with leaders and teams, the majority of these developments are overwhelmingly positive. Punitive approaches to development are simply ineffective across the long-term and often result in a whole range of personal or organisational dysfunctions.

As psychological safety and integrated work practices become commonplace in the vernacular of business culture the question for many people becomes: how do I continue to ensure that I get the most out of my team? How do I keep motivating them?

The problem with fear-based leadership is that is doesn’t recognise the most powerful asset in the tool-belt of behaviour change: connection.

Connection is one of the most powerful forces in organisational culture. What do you think happens when your team feel (a) connected to the values of the organisation; (b) connected to you as a leader and (c) connected to the people they work with?

Do I really need to give you the answer?

When I became a parent for the first time, I knew that I had to make a distinction between how I would parent my kids. A lot of the parenting I’ve seen models aspects of fear or negative reinforcement as a mechanism for discipline. For many people this kind of model is instinctive (i.e. “if you do that there will be a punishment”) however models that incorporate positive reinforcement have proven time and time again to be more effective across the long run. Fear might instil an immediate desire to change, but it doesn’t translate long-term. For many it actually ends up derailing future relationships.

Why?

Because whilst fear might motivate someone to do something differently it always fails to build the connections required for lasting transformation.

Human beings are “hard-wired” for connection (as Brené Brown puts it in Dare to Lead). We crave the benefits that connection brings: happiness, solidarity, intimacy, vulnerability.

The Harvard Study of Adult Development, arguably one of the most extensive studies (724 participants over 70+ years) done into the connection between happiness and meaning, showed a direct correlation between connection and happiness:

“personal connection creates mental and emotional stimulation, which are automatic mood boosters” says Dr Waldinger, who directed the program.

Connection produces happier, more motivated and long-lasting employees. It also leads to more robust and creative teams as people feel invested in the cause of their workplace as well as empowered to bring their own contribution.

It follows then that one of the core practices of a fear-less leader is to be relentless in the pursuit of connection, whether it be connection with the team members they lead or fostering an environment of connection within the team. Those that become masters of creating cultures of connection – without needing their team to sacrifice their own values – have already succeeded in one of the core goals of leadership: to empower people to succeed.

As Brené puts in:

“People desperately want to be part of something, and they want to experience profound connection with others, but they don’t want to sacrifice their authenticity, freedom, or power to do it.”   

So as we continue to pave our way into the future and see new windows into the world begin to open let’s commit to become leaders who value connection over fear. Let’s be people who recognise that the legacy we leave will consist more of the relationships we forged than the accolades we received.

Connection is everything.

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Jon Bergmann is a dynamic communicator, a public educator and a passionate agent for behavioural change in organisations. He is the founder and director of Hatch Learning & Development, a company aiming to help people live lives filled with meaning and fuelled by purpose. He works with companies in a range of different industries to help them establish or sustain cultures of connection, creativity and innovation by providing seminars, workshops or longer-term learning & development partnerships.

“Jon has always operated with integrity, efficiency and ambition. As a speaker he always inspires, motivates and brings a big picture perspective. Through Hatch L&D he has brought that same formidable skillset to the table” – Scott Ingram, Director Helium Digital Marketing

“An outstanding communicator and leader. Jon challenges assumptions and shifts mindsets and behaviours by bringing researched and thought-provoking concepts to the forefront of his work” – Amelia Pickering, BD Manager Menzies Health

“Highly competent and confident, but with a strong ability to build a rapport with his listeners, Jon is able to promote change and challenge people to deeper levels of thinking and action” Dave Kilpatrick, CEO Carey Group

“Jon is a thought-leader for current generations; a gifted presenter and an authentic, inspiring and challenging communicator” Jennifer Argue, Executive Principal CBC