You said what...?

You Said What?

We have all been there ….

- Said something we said didn’t land well for others

- Reacted out of emotion instead from a thought out response

- Justified or pushed strongly on our position being heard when curiosity may have worked better

- Talked from a place of assumption instead of fact … and it created other challenges

We have all communicated in a way we wished we could have the do over. That’s exactly what I talked about on this LinkedIn audio event.... Do overs and relational mulligans as a way of fixing communication missteps.

I’ve been working in the area of communication, team building and conflict resolution for close to 30 years. My career started out as a Correctional Officer then from there was trained and certified as a chartered mediator.?Now I provide presentation, training and consulting to teach the skills of conflict resolution and communication organizations, government, corporations and businesses around the globe.

What do we do then when we miscommunicate, say something that didn’t land well or people reacted to or perhaps we offended people through our words, tone or approach?

Here are some tips:

1)????Preparation and Prevention:?First it’s important we think of what we want to say. Prepare for these conversations, thinking carefully about your communication will help you prevent things going sideways. Proving someone wrong doesn’t make you right.

?Prepare for difficult conversations.??In the moment, think before we speak.?Ask yourself “is what I am about to say going to HELP or HINDER/HURT the conversation? If yes, you can work on phrasing it differently. Ask yourself “would I want to be on the receiving end of what I am about to say"? If not, you can change it and communicate differently.

?2)????Apply the 3 C’s in communication: Clarity, Compassion and Congruence:

Clarity- speak to the point not around the point,?avoid innuendos and jargon. Compassion… a little compassion and care goes a long way in maintaining trust, not having to double guess yourself and how your communication was received. How you show up and communicate essentially models and teaches others how to treat you and communicate with you.?

Congruence… make it easy for people to follow your train of thinking and speaking. Do your non-verbals match what you are saying? Eg if you are saying "I’m interested in your perspective" but you are disengaged or your tone sounds like you are not interested, this is incongruent.

?3)????The Mulligan – it’s the "do over".?In the moment, in the conversation, if you say something that didn’t come out respectfully or the way you intended it, simply take accountability for it, acknowledge that this didn’t come out right, and fix it. Restate what you had wanted to say. This is the relational mulligan. It can help maintain trust and respect in the dialogue, and in the relationship.

?4)????If you find yourself later thinking you wished things had turned out differently in a particular dialogue, revisit the conversation with the person. You can do relational mulligans after the fact.

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These actions demonstrate integrity, model accountability and leadership, restore trust and repairs relationships.?

About Charmaine:

Charmaine Hammond, CSP (Certified Speaking Professional) is a highly sought-after business keynote and workshop speaker, entrepreneur, author and educator who teaches and advocates the importance of developing trust, healthy relationships, conflict resolution and collaboration in the workplace. She has helped clients in many industries, including safety professionals build resilient and engaged workplaces, develop high trust/high accountability relationships, and solve workplace issues and conflict that gets in the way of success and profitability. She is respected as a "no fluff" and "rich content" speaker who delivers tangible tools to step into action immediately. Delivering her programs in person and virtually (she is a Certified Virtual Presenter through eSpeakers), she brings results and facilitates change.

?This former Correctional Officer (yup!?She worked in jails) and Corporate Dispute Resolution Expert now travels the world teaching the principles of collaboration, communication/conflict resolution and resilience. She also has an extensive background facilitating process to help collaborations and workplace/team relationships when they go sideways. As a former mediator she has helped facilitate some of the most complex collaborations and partnership arrangements. She has also been called to several communities that have experienced disasters to help with the rebuilding resilience and recovery processes.

?Her corporate clients have included all 3 levels of government, oil and gas sector, trade associations and companies (health, nursing, engineering, safety, and more), technology businesses, human resources, community partnership departments, educational institutions, police/fire and rescue, non profit organizations and everything in between. She has presented to more than 500,000 people worldwide and just as many through virtual conferences and trainings.?Her extensive background in?the corporate, small business and non profit worlds, her past role as a contract negotiation specialist for government, and a business owner, she has an interesting perspective of being on all sides of the collaboration table.

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She has a Master's Degree in Conflict Management & Analysis is a bestselling author (of 5 books & featured in 6 others), and CSP? Certified Speaking Professional. Charmaine has been featured in renowned publications such as Inc., Occupational Health & Safety Magazine, and many others, as well as having appeared as a guest on numerous TV and Radio Programs. She is a executive producer of an award winning animated film, Back Home Again.

To book Charmaine to speak, to discuss training or consulting for your organization send me a message through LinkedIn, or email: [email protected]