Trigger for Domestic Violence

Good morning,

Christmas is an exciting time for most families, however for many, Christmas is a trigger for Domestic Violence.

Some people think domestic violence only happens in low socio-economic communities, this is a MYTH.

A Australian survey on Abuse  revealed 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys have experienced at least one incident of abuse before the age of 15. What are the long term effects- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jLQtjLWMjM ref: Ace Score https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58RVz6HQ3KY 

Childhood abuse is a silent epidemic in our communities…

Domestic Abuse, the most common reason for not reporting, was cited as embarrassment, shame, fear of revenge or experiencing further violence.

With stats of 1 in 3 and 1 in 5, I could be writing about you, a very close friend, work colleague or relative…

What is domestic abuse? 

Domestic abuse is when one person mistreats another who is part of their household, family, or is in a dating or marriage relationship with them. While the domestic abuse definition can include mistreatment of an older family member (elder abuse) or a child (child abuse), the kind we are focusing on is hurting our intimate (dating or marriage) partners.

Mistreatment (abuse) comes in different forms. It could be bodily injury or the threat of injury (physical abuse) or words or actions that damage a person’s sense of well-being and independence (emotional abuse).

What is physical abuse? What is domestic violence?

Physical abuse and domestic violence are two terms for the same thing: physical force that hurts someone in our household, family, or in a relationship with us. Here’s what is considered domestic violence:

·       Pushing or shoving

·       Grabbing to restrict movement (stopping a partner from leaving, for example)

·       Slapping

·       Kicking

·       Biting

·       Hitting with a fist or object

·       Beating up (striking more than once)

·       Using a knife or gun

There’s a progression of violence from top to bottom, but an answer of ‘yes’ to any of these is considered domestic violence and battery. Threatening any of these, even if they are not carried out, is considered domestic violence and assault. See our page on domestic violence laws for more on assault and battery.

Children who are

abused and exposed to domestic violence exhibit

emotional, psychological, and behavioural consequences that are almost

identical to one another. ... Emotionally children who

experience abuse may exhibit anxiety, fear, guilt, isolation, and low

self-esteem. These children then grow up enter into the work force & get

married. An untreated history can and most probably will leave the abused to

carry a back pack of issues into the future.

As parents we are responsible for the safety of our children, this is the physical and mental safety of our children…  AND ourselves!

Over a 13-year period covered by analysis there were 77 intimate partner homicides, on average, each year. The majority involved males killing female intimate partners (75 per cent). Females comprised only 20 per cent of offenders of intimate partner homicide, confirming prior research that males are more likely than females to kill their intimate partner (Johnson & Hotton 2003; Silverman & Kennedy 1993; Silverman & Mukherjee 1987; Websdale 1999).

Source: Australian Institute of Criminology, National Homicide Monitoring Program, 1989-90 to 2001-02 [computer file] NOTE: These stats are on the rise…

Important Information: Teresa P. Nguyen, Benjamin R. Karney, and Thomas N. Bradbury

Although people with a history of child abuse are known to be at elevated risk for later difficulties in relationships, there is debate over whether these effects are enduring and relatively immutable or whether they are moderated by characteristics and behaviours of the partner. To reconcile these competing perspectives, we conducted a longitudinal study of 414 newlywed couples living in low-income neighbourhoods, testing whether the association between abuse history and relationship satisfaction is dependent on the partners’ aggression, depression, substance abuse, observed communication, and other demographic risk factors. Spouses who had been abused as children (25% of husbands, 31% of wives) reported more symptoms of depression and substance abuse and, among husbands, displayed more negative communication. Spouses with a history of child abuse were also less satisfied with their marriage, even as newlyweds; abused wives also declined in satisfaction over time compared to those without this history. However, interactions between abuse history and all of the proposed moderators were not significant, indicating that partner and relationship characteristics failed to strengthen or weaken the association between abuse history and relationship satisfaction. Childhood experiences of abuse appear to have lasting and broad effects on individual and relational outcomes, and these effects are neither heightened nor mitigated by the partner’s characteristics or behaviours.

Although the experience of abuse in childhood increases later risk for relationship distress and dissolution (e.g., DiLillo et al., 2009; Whisman, 2006), the impact of abuse on later intimacy is also highly heterogeneous (e.g., Paolucci, Genuis, & Violato, 2001; Rind, Tromovitch, & Bauserman, 1998). Partner and relationship characteristics are thought to be critical to understanding the later health and well-being of individuals abused as children (Evans, Steel, Watkins, & DiLillo, 2014) in that the effects of early abuse might be mitigated by the presence of compassionate partners but exacerbated by mates who are prone to hostility and insensitivity

Please hear Leslies Story:

Leslie Morgan Steiner was in "crazy love" -- that is, madly in love with a man who routinely abused her and threatened her life. Steiner tells the dark story of her relationship, correcting misconceptions many people hold about victims of domestic violence, and explaining how we can all help break the silence.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1yW5IsnSjo

The evidence relating to the range of individual and social harms associated with alcohol misuse is strong. The consumption of alcohol, especially at high levels, is a significant risk factor for violence. Alcohol-related crime and disorder can have a significant adverse impact upon the perceptions of safety among the broader community. This concern and perception extends well beyond those who have been directly involved in an incident of alcohol-related antisocial behaviour or harm.

Thank you for taking the time to read this email, I don’t write books and blogs to impress you, I write them to impress upon you, the importance of happy safe Families, well-adjusted Children and good Mental Health.

We as a community have a responsibility to our families