You are not responsible for what others understand.

If you'd ask me for one of my key tips for effective communication - this is it:

You are responsible for what you say, not what others understand.

Yes, it is true! Here me out.

We have a natural desire to be understood. But sometimes, the other party feels offended or annoyed by what we said or simply does not understand our point of view.

The critical thing to remember is that you can't impact how the other person will interpret your message.

We all listen and interpret messages based on our filters. Our values, beliefs, opinions and experiences might impact these filters.

And every day is different. The other person might be in a certain emotional state or mood based on what they experienced throughout the day or what is happening in their lives at that point in time.?

Maybe they missed the bus in the morning, spilled coffee over their shirt, received bad news, or perhaps they feel stressed due to a project deadline.

?Whatever the circumstances are, it will affect how the other person receives your message.?

YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY CONTROL OVER THAT.

?However, here is what you have control over and only you are responsible for:

?How you set up the conversation, the time and the place.

?The care you take in preparing for difficult or important conversations.

?Ensure that what you say is in alignment with your leadership values.

?Your choice of words and body language depending on the information available to you.

?This information could be hints on the emotional state or mood the other person is in. Observe and listen with all senses to their words, their tone, their body language.

?Also, bring awareness to your emotional state and how it could affect your communication. Use self-regulation to enter the conversation in a neutral state. Take a few deep breaths.

?Use all the information available to you to make the best decision on your way of communication.

?And if you feel like you were misunderstood, the conversation took a wrong turn, or you did not communicate well enough, take responsibility to reflect on what you can improve and then try again.

?But always remember you can't carry the responsibility of what others understand.

?Chat soon, Anne

?

PS: Would you like to organise a "lunch and learn" for your team to learn effective communication strategies just like this one? Imagine how many misunderstandings the teams could avoid if they knew how to better craft their message and listen deeply. Send me a reply, and let's have a chat if that sounds interesting.