Are you really unfriending a "Friend"?

Over the course of the past three decades, our profound engagement with social media has fundamentally reshaped our perceptions of friendship, relationships, and connections. The statistic that an average person now boasts over 500 friends on social media underscores the considerable expansion and evolution of our social circles. The once well-defined boundaries of friendship have given way to a more fluid definition, where digital connections are as prevalent as face-to-face interactions.

Remarkably, many individuals find themselves linked to thousands of friends on social media platforms, a significant portion of whom may remain strangers in the offline world. This phenomenon prompts a compelling question: is this shift towards a vast and diverse online network our new normal? As we navigate this paradigm, it becomes essential to contemplate the implications of such a dynamic and expansive social landscape on the nature and depth of our connections. Today, we use the word "friend" as loosely as the 40-inch jeans I wore in the 90s. It seems that the criteria for being considered a friend has significantly changed. So, why is it an emotional journey to hit the unfriend or friend button on social media? Let's delve deeper into this phenomenon.

In the past, the process of establishing a genuine friendship was a gradual and meaningful journey, demanding years of shared experiences and a profound sense of connectiveness to earn the coveted title of a true friend. My own childhood memories reflect a time when the term "friend" carried substantial weight and significance. Back then, the concept of friendship was more exclusive, with only a handful—perhaps around five—individuals earning the distinction of being considered true friends. These were the companions with whom I had weathered life's ups and downs, exchanged stories, and built a foundation of trust that stood the test of time. The depth of these connections was palpable, and the title of "friend" was reserved for those who had played an integral role in shaping my personal journey. The contrast with the current landscape, where the sheer number of digital connections has expanded exponentially, prompts reflection on the evolving nature of friendship in the contemporary era.

Fast forward to today, and I can confidently say that I have 4,000 “friends” on social media. However, if I were to really evaluate the depth of these friendships, I might only consider a handful of them as true friends. The rest are acquaintances, people from different walks of life, or simply individuals I have connected with on a professional or even a superficial level.

The emotional weight attached to the act of unfriending someone on social media is a phenomenon rooted in various social and psychological dynamics. One primary reason contributing to this emotional attachment is the pervasive fear of causing offense or hurting someone's feelings. In a society that places significant emphasis on being liked and accepted, unfriending can be interpreted as a form of rejection. The desire for social approval and the fear of being viewed negatively can make the decision to sever digital ties a delicate and emotionally charged process. This fear is heightened by the fact that social media has become a primary arena for social interaction, shaping perceptions of personal relationships.

It's important to recognize that social media has its limitations when it comes to fostering genuine friendships. While it allows us to engage with people's lives without any intention of forming a relationship, it also blurs the lines between acquaintances and true friends. It's crucial to differentiate between the two and prioritize nurturing meaningful connections offline.

The digital age has redefined our understanding of friendship. However, it's crucial to remember that true friendships are built through genuine connections and shared experiences. Let's not lose sight of the value of meaningful relationships in the age.

Todd Simmons, a seasoned professional with over 30 years of leadership experience, stands as a prominent figure in the realm of leadership and organizational culture. As the Founder of Courageous Leadership Alliance INC., Todd has made significant contributions to the field by sharing his insights and expertise with leading organizations around the globe. His engagements and impactful collaborations have solidified his reputation as a thought leader in building sustainable and impactful organizational cultures.