are you really listening?

Dear You,

I was speaking to someone in my community one day, and he was very frustrated. He kept complaining about how his customers did not know what they wanted and they were not listening to his solutions. So I listened intently and waited for him to finish venting, then I told him everything I am about to tell you in this article.

He reminded me of many freelancers and entrepreneurs I had met in the past who felt frustrated by their clients and customers. One even quoted the famous Henry Ford: "If I had asked them what they wanted, they would have said faster horses."

If Henry Ford really said this quote, he must have been a bad listener. But, as a service provider, you have to be a good listener who listens with empathy. If Henry Ford were genuinely listening, he would know that people just wanted to go from point A to point B faster. At that time, all they could envision were faster horses because horses were the fastest mode of transportation at the time. However, what mattered most to them was moving faster. Meaning - they would pay for anything that helps them move faster - a bicycle, car, plane, time travel device, whatever takes them from point A to point B faster.

This helped me realise that clients/customers know what they want, they may struggle to articulate it, but they know what they want. Our job as service providers is to ask the right questions to help them uncover their needs. It is also our job to listen to what is said and unsaid, and clarify by asking questions.

No one can tell you where your shoe pinches the most. No one can tell you how bad your headache is. Even your doctor will lean on your explanations, asking questions to help you articulate them.

I used to be like that. I remember many years ago when I skipped my process for one of my clients. They needed a new logo for their business. My team sent a few options to the decision-maker, and we kept getting NOs. When we asked what was wrong? They said they didn't know, something was just not right. I was so frustrated. I told my team we should pull out. The next day, I approached it with a fresh perspective and with empathy. I asked them what they didn't like - was it the color, font, design, story, what was wrong? They eventually said it was the color, it reminded them of one of their other businesses and they were trying hard to break away from that business identity. Immediately, we had a breakthrough. We worked together and got something beautiful done together.

I believe that innovation truly happens when you, as a professional, can help soothe your client's pain. It doesn't have to be exactly what they want, but if you don't understand what is unsettling them, you may not be able to give a good solution.

I once had a client who really wanted us to incorporate a particular flower into her brand because the flower made her think of her late mum. However, flowers didn't quite work for the brand direction and her stakeholders were against it. So we worked with her to unearth her most amazing memory of her mother and named one of the product collections after her mother's maiden name. It was so powerful.

This can also help you in your job as an employee. For example, seeking to understand what the motivations of your line manager or founder are, can completely change your approach to work.

When your client or boss is insisting on something, ask them why? Be empathetic. Ask the right questions, and be patient enough to listen to what is said and unsaid.

With Love,

Blessing Abeng.

Ps: If something stood out for you, share in a tweet or Insta story, and tag me @blessingabeng_. Also, join me in my IG Live of #unbrandedconversations with Lemi Ghariokwu, the Nigerian artist that designed most of Fela's album covers and came up with the idea for album sleeves. We will talk about art, Fela, Love, family, religion, friendship! He was alive in the time of the war, so he has so many stories to share! I can’t wait. It will be at 7pm WAT tomorrow on Instagram. Don't miss it.