Are you ready to die? ??

Death seemed to settle in around me during the last few weeks.?

• My high school counselor who retired just last year passed away, less than a month after being diagnosed with stage four lung cancer.
• A friend of my wife’s family passed away in his sleep earlier this week (he was roughly my age).
• My best friend from high school sent me a note about reviewing his digital memorial app for loved ones who have passed away.
• The lesson I taught in our youth seminary class Friday morning was about Paul at the end of his life when he says, “the time of my departure is at hand.”
• I just finished listening to a book called “Die with Zero”
• I had Covid a few weeks ago and still feel like I haven’t made my way back to full health (I get it - that’s not death, but it messes with your head)
• Also, I’m turning 40 in a few months and maybe that’s somehow crept into my brain’s behind the scenes processing these days.

None of these events really mean anything on their own. Actually, none of them mean anything even grouped together like this.

Until your subconscious steps in and starts messing with your head.

Which is totally what happened to me this week. I couldn’t seem to shake this feeling that seemed to just show up all week at the worst times.

I’m going to die. (And, not in the, “death is distant” kind of way, it’s been more of the “death is present” kind of way)

To be fair, it’s true.?

We’re all dying.?

“Memento mori” - Remember that you must die

For years, I’ve periodically spent time intentionally reflecting on what it would mean to die and more importantly what it means to live now.?

It sounds morbid but many ancient religions and philosophies encourage this type of continual reflection. This isn’t to make you feel life is pointless but instead is a tool for helping you find purpose.?

But there seems to be a difference in the way it feels to intentionally imagine death as part of a reflective exercise and having the thought of your mortality organically join your internal dialogues.

So, this week has been filled with thinking about death—my own.

Are you ready to die? ??

Is there any question more important than this??

Death is the one inevitability we all confront which makes this a must-ask question.

As I was forced to wrestle with this question, three ideas emerged:

1. Death is a storyteller and meaning maker
2. Death is the great prioritizer
3. Death is a daily occurrence

Death is a storyteller and meaning maker

When death feels present, you look backward and start putting the pieces together. You begin stringing together the events in your life like chapters in a book. Certain events and memories receive prominent placement in the story you weave while others never make it onto the page. Meaning is added to individual events and more importantly to the way in which the events interact with one another to create your own one of a kind life mural.

Death is the great prioritizer

“In Japanese Zen, the term shoji translates as “birth-death.” There is no separation between life and death other than a small hyphen, a thin line that connects the two. We cannot be truly alive without maintaining an awareness of death. Death is not waiting for us at the end of a long road. Death is always with us, in the marrow of every passing moment. She is the secret teacher hiding in plain sight. She helps us to discover what matters most.” - (Frank Ostaseski, The Five Invitations: Discovering What Death Can Teach Us About Living Fully)

Nothing creates clarity faster than the feeling that time is running out. What a gift!

As I thought about potential changes, I had a few things come to mind.?

• Go home a few more times each week for lunch with Leah.
• Get into my kids classes and look for more opportunities to casually bump into them each day.
• Put my phone down more often.
• Be more transparent in sharing the events in my life with my kids and the ‘why’ behind my choices and actions.

Nothing dramatic but certainly impactful.

There are small changes waiting to bring you disproportionate results when you’re ready.

Death is a daily occurrence

“Each day, we wake slightly altered, and the person we were yesterday is dead, so why… be afraid of death, when death comes all the time?" - John Updike

Looking back at each chapter in my life I realized, I’m not the same person I was in those earlier chapters. Small pieces have been chipped away while others have been built upon but the whole is different at 39 than it was at 9, 19, and 29.?

But this isn’t just true of the decades, it’s true of the days. Each day this week, I died. I then woke up with the opportunity to approach life in any way I wanted. Someday, I won’t wake up and there won’t be another opportunity, but that day is not today.

I don’t really know why this week was marked by such a strong recognition of my own mortality but I’m grateful it showed up. It caused a deeper reflection than I was ever able to conjure up when I sat down and ran through it as an exercise.

If you’ve never had that feeling or sat down and just reflected on your own future departure, you should. It’s one of the most powerful gifts you can give yourself.

And if you're interested in more questions, check out my weekly newsletter where I share a new question each week for us to reflect on and learn from!