Are you ready to change the temperature?

Welcome to May. It's Spring or Autumn, depending on where you are. And that means the temperature is changing...

Recently I have been thinking about the energy I bring into the room, and what I leave people feeling when I have had an encounter with them. Is there someone you know that leaves you feeling lighter, more empowered and perhaps even inspired? I have a friend like this, who also happens to be a medical practitioner. Often, when I go to see her, she needs to help alleviate pain or sort out some niggle – essentially, not always the best circumstances to spend time together. But I never, ever leave not feeling lighter and more positive. She has such a positive outlook on life – it is contagious and inspirational. She always adds humour, even to the direst circumstances and creates a warm temperature. It is almost impossible not to want to be a better human when you are around her. Then on the other side of the coin, do you know people who leave you feeling depleted and exhausted, who you avoid spending time with at all? I am sure you would be able to name a few (the seats on that bus seem to be a lot fuller than the seats on the first bus).

A couple of years ago I worked in an office with centralised air-conditioning on each floor. I am quite sensitive to temperature – I get hot quickly and I do not enjoy the cold either. A little like Baby Bear, in The Three Little Bears, I like things just right. I remember going into the call centre to do training and feeling like I walked into a heatwave. The call centre agents would always set the temperature high and for some reason, they all liked it that way - some even adding more heat with blankets (in summer, not kidding!). To me, it felt dreadful, like I was glowing, and I couldn’t focus. On the second floor, there were two sides of the office - the one would set the aircon super cold – you had to bring a jacket along in the middle of summer (I had a knee blanket permanently positioned on my chair). And on the other side, the temperature would fluctuate depending on who came into the office first that morning. The temperature was set by a small little control pad on the wall. But that little control pad could make or break how people felt in the office. And it affected how people would show up. Too hot, people would become grumpy and irritated, too cold they would start sitting differently and looking for every opportunity to drink more coffee or spend more time on the patio in the sun.

So, what do the friend and the control pad have in common you may be asking? Well, they both set the temperature in the room. I know that when I show up to spend time with my friend, what it will feel like, and what we will talk about. Even though I can share my sorrows with her, I won’t allow myself to stay in a negative space. The environment she creates just doesn’t allow it. The same way with the aircon, although we could adjust the thermostat to a specific temperature – by consensus each floor had decided what that temperature should be and most people would just adapt to that by either adding layers or sitting closer to a window. People rarely would change the thermostat – because they knew they would meet resistance.

As leaders or aspiring leaders – we get to set the thermostat. We decide what we want people to experience when they are around us. We make it easy or difficult to show up a certain way. We determine what behaviour is going to be encouraged and what won’t be tolerated. And we do this by being aware of how we show up, what conversations we engage in, how we show empathy, how we hold people accountable, how vulnerable we are, and how we respond. We permit people to show up a certain way. A wise person once said: "People treat you the way you allow them to treat you". If you are always allowing people to get away with less-than-okay behaviour; are the place they always complain; don't hold them accountable for how they show up and what energy they bring; they will decide what is comfortable and it might not be what you want or need from them.

As we draw to the end of this week, and the start of a new month, I would like to encourage you to think about how you show up. What conversations are you entertaining that are perhaps keeping people stuck in their old ways, or are setting a less than optimal temperature? Also, think about who you need to spend more time with the raise your temperature - those people that bring out the best in you.