Are You Ready To Be Amazing? Here is how...

Being ‘in the maze’ is a great metaphor and a reality - if you visit any of the grand mazes in the Royal Palaces of the UK. Indeed it was first termed in 1562; it was used to describe the experience of getting out of the maze at Hampton Court Palace.

'I am excited, confused, stuck, lost, …now I am astonished, surprised…I am out of the maze and I am a-mazed.'

It also hints at a better question, "Are you ready to step out of the maze and become amazing?"

This is what I do for individuals - I inspire them to be amazing every day.

I am the amazing coach - there I said it. Practically and historically I have coached for 35 years:

• Academically
• Professionally
• Personally (life / relationship)
• Finding Your Ikigai - Your Purpose (The Why)
• Sport (Rugby - England Schools)

If you know your 17th century French history (you weren't listening in that class?), then you will have heard of the great statesman, Cardinal Richelieu. He famously relied on the advice of Father Fran?ois Leclerc du Tremblay. He was known as France's éminence grise, for his grey monk's habit. Like the famous Cardinal, today's business leaders and others have their ‘grey eminences'; but the modern coach is not bound by a vow of poverty. Are we worth it? What do we do and what is the evidence from those that use coaches that they we are effective, efficient and have a high return on investment (ROI)?

Forty years ago, no one talked about executive coaching or coaching at all (except in sport). Twenty years ago, coaching was mainly directed at talented but abrasive executives who were likely to be fired if something didn't change. Today, coaching is a popular and potent solution for ensuring top performance from an organisation's most critical talent.

Coaching, of course, is a widely used term with various meanings, depending on both the situation and who is involved in the process. The term coaching typically refers to methods of helping others to improve, develop, learn new skills, find personal success, achieve aims and manages life change and personal challenges. Coaching commonly addresses attitudes, behaviours, and knowledge, as well as skills, and can also focus on physical and spiritual development too. I trained as a teacher and ascended to the top of my profession. Much of my work was a crossover form of coaching. Now I spend most of my time (away from writing books) training; both teaching and training are forms of coaching, frequently involving one-to-one support (a coach and the client), aimed at helping a person improve, often in a very practical sense. In this respect, it could be said that coaching differs from the training and teaching of groups focused on knowledge transfer and theoretical application.

The derivation of the word coach in the teaching, training and developing context is fascinating. The term ‘coach', meaning personal private tuition, was probably used as slang by the students of Cambridge University. It was based on the metaphor (and we all love metaphors) that to move from one point to another swiftly you would ride on a coach, (then a horse-drawn coach), which would require the help of a coachman. The term coach was first recorded in the sense of a private tutor in 1848 and in the sense of an athletics coach in 1861. Brewer's 1870 dictionary says, ‘... Coach - A private tutor - the term is a pun on getting on fast. To get on fast, you take a coach - you cannot get on fast without a private tutor, ergo, a private tutor is the coach you take so that you get on quickly (Cambridge University slang)...'

 Today we do not think of a coach as a particularly speedy vehicle, so the metaphor (Brewer says pun) seems strange, but in the 1800s a horse-drawn coach was the fastest means of transport available. The Oxford English Dictionary (2005 revised) definition of a coach is:

‘An instructor or trainer in sport. [or] A private tutor who gives extra teaching.'

That said, the term 'coaching' - like 'training' - is very general. Whenever anyone asks me about my job, and what I do during any coaching session, I find myself wanting to over elaborate on the process and over explaining the essence of what it is…so to help you, the reader I have taken a real life example (with permission) to explain a process.

The dangers of life are infinite, and among them is safety.' -Goethe

My chosen example is James Newell, whom I started coaching four years ago (and have finished his journey in May 2016 – we now work together coaching and speaking at a very high level). So some background on James (see also https://www.jamesnewell.co/hello/ ) he had been asking a fundamental question about his life as long as he could remember, ‘Do I deserve it?' and ‘I deserve more than this'. He is now a highly successful sales professional and a survivor of some incredible life events such as the suicide of a parent and the 2004 tsunami. James' unique approach to life and coaching reflects his achievements, failures and life experience. The drive to obtain what he felt he deserved had kept James alive and caused him to flourish and never give up. But something was wrong. Despite his success, the feeling of deserving more remained. It wasn't about having more or earning more money; it was about living a life where he could play to his strengths and feel that childlike passion that now seemed so far away. James was deeply unhappy and unsure how to breakthrough, James had reached the peak of his career and circumstances, but the belief he could be more never abated.

Something had to change for James, which is when he met me completely by chance, after I gave a lecture on ‘How to be Amazing Every Day'. I invited him to a training course I was running (How to be a Stand Up Comic – which fitted in with his chaotic bucket list of things he wanted to try). After the course, he broke down and told me of his unhappiness. He was the best salesperson in Mercedes; he earned a fortune. He fundamentally hated his job. He signed up with some trepidation to a one day course (How to be Amazing Every Day) where I told him he would discover his ‘why'. A bold claim but one that has happened every time I immerse clients in a deep process over 6 hours. His discovery was that he did deserve it – but not in the way he had ever imagined. Over the next 18 months of soul searching and research, the meaning of what it means to deserve was deconstructed, analysed and tested. I will share with you in this book some of those exercises and the framework that coaching can use to unlock the potential of the individual. The aim was to understand truly what it means to deserve and learn how to deserve. The results changed James' life, and they will be the useful touch stone to discover how the process of coaching works.

James is now an amazing coach, brilliant speaker and successful author, specialising in the clear sales message, motivation, overcoming adversity and peak sales performance. He now works with individuals and corporates, driving change, innovation and performance in his signature pragmatic style and modular approach. With a passion for helping and inspiring others, James dedicates his life to helping others achieve their goals.

There are very specific areas of coaching, but it is not merely the ‘what' that makes it valuable. The real value of coaching lies in the process of uncovering and de-layering (or what James reflects back to me ‘de-glossing' or removing the surface protection) that leads to identifying the essence of the problem. It is helpful perhaps to evidence this shift, and what happened in the process with a testimonial he wrote to a potential new client (8 months ago). It is used here not in the context of trying to show my ‘greatness' (I am only amazing), but to amplify to concept and process of coaching and why it is so powerful:

‘I understand you are considering using Tim for help to find your ‘why'. As someone he has helped previously I am more than happy to recommend him. Tim has quite simply been instrumental in changing my life. He has given me the reason why I am alive, but also my reason to live. I have always worked in the UK motor industry, but despite my success I've never truly been fulfilled and happy. I have had a few turbulent things happen in my life and have struggled to make sense of why none of them have overtaken me and why I keep on going. However bad things have been, I've never given in and I keep pushing - although I never knew "why". (you can read my back story to see what I've overcome at my blog). I have been in a constant struggle to "make sense" of my life and "find" my purpose and what I "should" be doing- feeling that although I am successful, I am largely wasting my time as I'm not passionate about what I do. With Tim's help, I was able to understand that my why is "I deserve it". I feel I deserve so much more than the life I have had that I am continually working, pushing and committed to making it happen. I realise now that this is quite a popular motivation- many of us feel we can deserve so much more than we have in our personal lives and businesses but are unsure of how to obtain it. With Tim's help, I have written a book to fully explore the concept - "YOU DESERVE IT" which is out next year. It's based on the premise that it's decisions, not conditions which shape our lives and that when we take more responsibility for what happens (whether we cause it or not), we can get the best from it. I also relate deserving to serving and to sales- I sell ￡60M++ of cars a year so some of the techniques I have been using feature in the book.From establishing my why I was then able to admit to myself that all the "self-help" and personal development books I had read to overcome the turbulence of my life, were where my true passion lay- I realised I wanted to be an inspiration to others and to become a speaker and coach myself- which is exactly what I am in the process of becoming. I only began to realise this when I understood my why, realised I deserved more than I had and began to ask better questions of myself- with Tim's help.

 I am now "amazing every day" and spend my time finding and sharing inspiring things to share with others through my blog www.everydayshouldbefun.com as well as writing and editing my book and working on my escape from work to full-time coaching and launching my book. I'd like to be clear that my case is quite unique in that my "why" has led me to become a coach and to undertake the work Tim does- we are all different and your why may be to provide the most luxurious travel experience possible or to make guests of your resort feel like family, it may even be to express yourself artistically or save the world- your why is completely personal, there is no set path. What I can be certain is that once you have identified your why your life will change gear, and you can make progress and feel more fulfilled that you are working with a purpose rather than working simply to accumulate money. Without Tim helping me to establish my why I wouldn't have written a book, found my calling and be on the path I am today.When you understand why you do what you do, you can't help but feel more peaceful and fulfilled.

 Tim's greatest strength is getting you to change the way you see things- and to "explore, play and create novelty". I've never met someone who can challenge my thinking and ask me questions in the way he does. As I learnt through Tim- when you ask betters questions, you get better answers. I can thoroughly recommend him and am happy to talk with you on the phone or by email if you have any questions. I wish you the best of luck in your own journey of self-discovery- the fact that you are even considering using Tim to find your why is an important step in the right direction.

Regards, James Newell

So what did I do in my coaching sessions with James (and indeed all my clients)? Well, it all starts with curiosity. The power of being able to listen deeply and ask better questions. During the deep and focused listening process, curiosity creates the why; why is it this way? What makes you think this? Where does it come from? These questions and many more gets the client to stop and look at the ‘obvious' with a fresh perspective. This curiosity, free from judgment, helps us re-evaluate our thinking. Deep questions that arise from deep listening can lead to our amazing light bulb moments that James describes in his testimonial. Life changing insights into their lives or business. It is these questions that can lead a client from "Yes, I know I should probably be doing that." to "Oh, now I understand what has been preventing me from taking action!"

 I act as a sounding board or a bullet-proof mirror. Almost every single person that I coach already ‘knows' what he or she should be doing, so suggesting solutions is not useful. My golden rule (both in coaching and mediation) is Listen, Listen, Listen and don't make it any worse. At the most basic level, a coach merely plays the role of a sounding board – and being a bullet-proof mirror emphasises that you reflect back (without self-harm) what the internal wishes of the client are.  It seems a simple task, but it is a real and profound skill to listen deeply to your client. When was the last time you felt truly listened to? How often in this world of constant talking and no silence do we get a chance to sit with a problem, and to think it through fully? In this world of speaking and no listening, when do we have someone who is completely focused on listening to us, not just our words, but also listening at a deeper level to the meaning between the lines, listening to what is unspoken, and listening to the emotions in the midst of the silences? One of the biggest gifts that a coach can offer you is deep listening.

 Putting a ding in their universe. Yes, it is a Steve Job's line – but take it as a challenge - getting the client to consent to being pushed. At times we tend to sink into our comfort zones, it's not called a comfort zone for anything! It's comfortable! We like it. Coaching helps us to get out of our comfort zones, by taking small steps. We want to stretch and flex our skills and muscles, without creating such huge leaps that we end up in the panic zone. If we are not challenged from time to time, we don't grow.

The Power of Accountability, makes it happen. Once we've arrived at a point where we know what the next step is, we need to ensure that life doesn't get in the way, that we don't lose focus on our goals. As an accountability partner, a coach will help you to break down your goals into achievable pieces and support you in your progress. Accountability partners increase your likelihood of success. For James, it was a systemized approach which involved producing the work I set (the 20 exercises with questions) which would ultimately end up as the chapters in his book.

 I will be there as a support in the dark times. We all need more support than we think. There's a reason why most sporting activities have supporters. It helps you go that extra mile and encourages success – small steps to gain confidence. We all need someone who will cheer us on and encourage us. Those that have traumatic events (and James is right up there on the scale) have to acknowledge it will not be plain sailing – there will be dark times or even days. But if a client is in the right frame where they can be coached and are not so traumatised they need to be in therapy (I am not counsellor or therapist – I look at outcomes and solutions) then this is part of the promise of coaching.

For James, and all my potential clients it started with a simple question,

“Are you ready?”

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So, You Want to be Amazing Every Day? Well, it all starts with a decision right now...

Are you ready? By investing in the BAED Training and Coaching Course (Be Amazing Every Day), I would guide you through the process of physiological and mindset control, charting your growth and development and more. It will help give you clarity, improved confidence and capacity to make better decisions - and be the best version of yourself you can be. I currently coach and mentor 9 people (3 are long term and many are repeats) as well as the various training programmes that organisations require. I currently have 3 places available and if you are interested please get in touch as soon as possible and you can have a special discount if booked before the September 10th 2019.

I have been doing this BAED coaching and training for the last 9 years and do not advertise it particularly - all the work is word of mouth and referrals. The coaching is derived from the highly successful Be Amazing Every Day (BAED) course (for individuals, groups, organisations, corporate, restaurants, business, hotels, chains and teams) and contains the latest in Neuroscience, NLP, Physiology, Leadership, Authenticity, EA (Excellence, always), Mediation and Conflict Resolution, the Perfect Pitch, the Neuroscience of Why, the Emotional Signature, Meditation, Breathing, Excellent Memory Skills, Body Language (NVC), RRR (Risk, Redemption, Rapport), and the Physiology of Business. The coaching process (and it is a process rather than just sequential meetings) takes over roughly 8 hours (a double 2.25 hour session starts it off) and usually takes place over a 3 month period and is bespoke to each clients needs (determined during the first session). It is a very powerful course and designed to help you make powerful changes to inspire you to become amazing every day. The glowing testimonials (see more on Linkedin) are evidence to this and it is having massive success amongst a wide variety of people in different professions. It definitely helps with better choices and life decisions. It will give you the clarity to develop your life / business that excites you (your passion)  and provides a real basis for a sustainable business model.  One of the most powerful elements of BAED, is moving from a belief system where conditions determine your destiny (environmental, financial, emotional, relationships - the past) to one where better decisions shape your destiny. It improves confidence, gives you clarity on your pitches and guides you on the success pathway.

My favourite Maya Angelou quote reflects this absolutely: 

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.

If you have any more questions, please ask (email me [email protected]) If you are ready to experience this exciting process, just say yes and I will give you the details on how to book.

The question is are you ready and do you want to make a profound change?