You are qualified, that's not the problem, it's your Opt-In Equation that's out of balance.
This week on the Opt In:
Their Opt-In Equations are out of balance. Are yours?
"What they want from you in the future and what you want to offer are different. Your Opt-In Equation is out of balance. The future you want won't happen until you balance it." I shared this hard truth with several people this week. Here are two. They are stories worth sharing because they might resonate with you too. Sharing because everyone in the equation is Opting in.
Meet Tim. Tim is in his 20's. He's been working as a "Tim will do what we need him to do, and we love him for it." at his local grocery store for the last three years. Do you need Tim to run a register? He's great with customers. Do you need Tim to stock the shelves? No problem; Tim knows where everything is and is fast. Do you need Tim to come in at 4:30 am to open things up for deliveries? Also yes. Here's the thing, Tim is professionally stuck. While Tim loves his company, his team, and even his boss (he is not a quiet quitter), he doesn't understand why he's not getting promoted when people around him with fewer qualifications are. As much as he loves it, his desire to stay with the company is slowly waning. His desire for a new future will eventually outweigh his love for the now.
We talked about several things, but it was clear there were two major issues. First, Tim does not understand how to self-advocate effectively. Second, Tim's Opt-In Equation is clearly WAY out of balance. The first problem he'll need to fix, the second is the conversation I wanted to share with you.
Let's start with some definitions so we're all on the same page.
A quick exercise and we converted the story in his head about who he is (his Tale of Potential) into an Opt-In graph.
Tim sees that his Past and Present are valuable, but he thinks his value is in his potential. We then switched roles and talked candidly about how his manager would tell his tale of potential. This is what we came up with.
The manager valued Present Tim more than Potential Tim. His Opt-In Equation is out of balance.?And here was the surprise for Tim, in all his actions, he'd been advocating, for Now, Tim and forgetting to remind people about Future Tim.?
The next step for Tim? He's going to have a conversation with his boss and make sure our assumptions were right. Just asking the question will start shifting the equation for them both.
Meet Brenda Brenda is in her 60's. Brenda is advising a small startup. She has tons of experience in her area of expertise. Recently the CEO mentioned that he's decided to open up a full-time role in his organization. She's uniquely qualified for the position and wants to apply. The CEO hasn't said he wants her to stop advising, but when she asked him what kind of individual he was looking for, he said, "Someone young and hungry and willing to learn."
She reached out and asked if this was ageism. And how to help him understand that she was the most qualified and, therefore, the best candidate. We talked about his perception of what he thought the role needed vs. his perception of Brenda.
This is the value he thinks he wants to Opt Into.
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This is how he sees Brenda.
Brenda wanted to explain to him how qualified she was so he'd consider her for the position. I suggested it wasn't what he wanted. He's telling you he wants teachable. She, especially as his advisor, already had all the answers. Will he get to teach her? Maybe but as she's currently his teacher (as an advisor), the answer is no. He told you he wants young and hungry. He wants someone to join the team who can grow with them. Not, as Brenda will tell you, as someone where this role is her last huzzah. And yes, he probably thinks that being teachable, young, and hungry means cheaper. Bottom line, he's telling himself a story about the future of this role, a story (we think) that doesn't match the story he tells himself about Brenda.
I suggested that if she wanted to be in the consideration set for the role, she needed to find out why the CEO thought "young, hungry, and willing to learn" was the path to success BEFORE she started trying to change his mind about her. Validating the narrative is always step one. The next step was helping him see that her combination of Past, Present, and Future could be equally successful, if not more so. He needs to see the value of "buying" a different product that looks and sounds more like you. Once she's done that, her trusted relationship and wise counsel, her age and experience, will be considered an asset.
And a note, if you're thinking, "OMG! Ageism! He's a jerk. She doesn't want to work for him. She should run; this is a red flag." I want to remind you that the CEO brought Brenda in as an advisor. He has a story about the value of the Future Brenda, just not the value story needed for the Future of this role.
Brenda's going to have an interesting conversation with him next week.
And as before, I hope that some of you recognize yourself in the story of the CEO. Do you create a Past, Present, and Future framework for the role before you've considered candidates? What might happen if you shifted your Opt-In Equation?
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Creativity, collaboration, and communication can only exist when we Opt Into the story we tell ourselves about what the future will be with this person. So if you're Tim, Brenda, Tim's boss, or Brenda's potential boss, it's time to get that story right.
Who's talking? Here's who shared interesting Opt-In ideas last week.
How to Opt-In. What's happening at the Opt-In Headquarters
If you missed our announcement on Jan 1st, I've got big news. I've written a book! Tales of Potential is coming out this spring and we're busily creating the plans for the book launch. And no, I'm not going to make you come and hear me read a chapter. We've got Opt-In shenanigans up our sleeves, and we're optimizing for potential.
Want to collaborate or be one of the first to know? Click here to let us know.
Until next time. Here's Opting Into the Future You!