Are you putting your values into action? Here's 5 exercises so you can.

We hear a lot about values, especially in the corporate world. But when was the last time you reviewed your own values? Do you know what they are? Have they changed? Are they your values, or the values others expect of you? Most importantly, how well are you putting them into action? How well are they integrated into your personal and professional life?

The more you put your values into action, the more you’re being true to yourself. The more you’re living life as your authentic self - the more likely it is you can be your ultimate self and enjoy your most fulfilling life.

In my first post of the year, I shared an exercise for you to draft up a template for your "Ultimate Self", consisting of wellness, contribution, meaning and growth. If you haven’t done it yet, give it a go. My second post looked at the contradictions we all deal with daily between our inner and outer selves, and even in the positive and negative ways our various strengths and challenges, show up (both have positives and negatives btw). These articles are relevant but not necessary pre-reading for today. In fact, today’s article will compliment them, pre-or post.

Nearly 18 years ago, I founded a youth development organization called Play Rugby USA which positively impacted (and continues to) thousands of young people. We used rugby as a lens through which young people could look at life and a vehicle through which they could prepare for it. Two critical components of the program's success were intentionality and positivity. These were complimented by many other values but having positive people, exuding positive energy with young people and focusing them on achieving specific outcomes in an engaging way - that was more than half the battle. Not too different in any aspect of life, or work really, right?

The other secret sauce of the program’s success and the common denominator through which all other things flowed, was what we called our “Values-in-Action”. It was a simple framework, fleshed out in a curriculum, coach training and metrics program that helped young people understand what a value meant in real life. In other words - what were the behaviors associated with the value? This was something they could learn playing games, and apply everywhere else in their lives. One simple example: “Play What you See” - in short: make the best decision you can based upon what you see in front of you (regardless of whether that is positive or negative). There’s a lot to unpack there of course, but the important part is - we all get it - as a value we can act upon.

That said, how often do we give our values a reality check? Do we know what they are? Are we intentional putting them into action, from inside-out? In other words, do we use our values as a guide through which to live our lives, or rather do we go through the motions in life, and let life impose its outside-in values on us?

Whether you feel you are values-based and true to your values, or maybe you’re less explicit about your values and just trying to do the right thing, the exercises below should help you identify a few tweaks, towards living a more fulfilling life. It’s that something you’re interested in - read on. 

5 Exercises to put your values into action as you work towards your Ultimate Self:

You should be able to easily work through these over the next week. One exercise per night. You can even do it with a partner or friend. So, grab your note pad and pen and let's kick off with a few questions to answer to help you discover / or rediscover your values:

1) Discovering our values

a) When am I at my best? (Think…and write if you like, what am I doing, who am I with, how does it feel)

b) When am I at my worst? (Same)

c) Think through your top three, toughest life experiences (sorry, I know this can be painful). What strengths did you rely upon to get you through? Did others exhibit strengths that helped get you through?

d) Draft up rough table with 2 columns - best strengths / worst traits (see contradictions post for more detail). Then create a row (one at a time) for each of the following 3 groups. What would each of these groups of people say are your best strengths, and worst traits?

• Friends / Family / Colleagues

Circle any new things that showed up

e) Think of someone you’d love to emulate (they can even be fictional if you like). What are some of the values they exhibit that you’d be proud to adopt?

f) Based upon all the above, what would you say are your core values? The values you really aspire to live by, in order to be the ultimate version of yourself. Try and limit yourself to 6.

2) Reviewing our values

Time and energy are two things we all share in life. You could say they're all we have. Our time (and the clock keeps ticking) is finite and so what we choose to spend it on and how we use our energy during those windows, is particularly important (positive thoughts / feelings / actions / interactions vs negative experiences). In the real world, we don’t always have complete control over how we spend our time, albeit it's something we can all improve on (back to the word intentionality). When it comes to energy however, we always have a choice. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be upset if something bad happens, or that we should try and positive-our-way out of everything 100% of the time. Rather, we have a choice as to how we react to everything that happens in life. That's a fact. How well we can accept that fact in concept, and apply it in reality reflects how effective we are at directing our energy. This in turn acts as a primary driver of our life experience. 

A quick example I would share to demonstrate this is the first week or our Son’s life. Hudson was subject to an incredibly traumatic entry into the world and didn’t take his first breath until 90 seconds after arriving. He wasn’t strong enough to cry. We were told 2 hours later he would have brain damage. Talk about not how you imagine things would be! As brutal as that experience was, we had a choice how to react. We had a choice how to expend our energy. We really didn’t have much choice over our time - the only place we could fathom being was in the NICU for the next 7 days. However, from an energy perspective we had a choice, either: look up all the bad things that could happen, worry, try and prepare for the worst; or focus - cut out all the noise, be in the moment and be strong. For me that meant being a positive energy giver when I was with Hudson and being supportive and empathetic for his Mum (honestly ladies - you are incredible). Being positive didn’t mean loosing touch with reality - believe me, being there was daunting enough and kept us very grounded. What it did mean, was maintaining hope over fear - that was part of guiding our energy and something we could control. Fast forward to the end of the week and Hudson’s tests came out normal with no material damage.

I'm not suggesting our energy affected the test results. However, in large part because of how I spent my energy that week, I look back on it fondly (I can only speak for myself here). It was, I suppose a transcendent experience. I was so incredibly focused, literally nothing else mattered and, I guess, because the result came out positive - I recall the memories more positively too. Clearly, nothing I’d ever want to repeat or wish even on my worst enemy but still - a testament to the power of intentional energy.

So, time for some reflection.

Part 1 - Last-year look-back: 

a) Gut reaction. Give yourself a score of 1 - 10 on how well you lived your values, overall?

b) What were some good examples of when you exhibited your values (i.e. put them into action)

c) When do you go against your values, or just act differently than your values. What was the reason?

Part 2 - Now, let’s get a little more pointy! Last-week look-back: (or just the last 7 days). 

a) As a percentage, roughly how much time each day do you think you were utilizing any of your core values? 

b) Circle the ones you utilized the most (top 3). Underline those values you did you not utilize, or minimally utilized (bottom 3)

c) How much ‘dead / no-values-actioned time was there?

d) What were some moments when you went against your values? 

e) What were your worst / most frustrating or upsetting experiences last week? What were the triggers? How well did you apply your values to overcome these experiences (score of 1 - 10).

3) Re(de)fining our values

a) Based upon the review above, did any new values show up? 

b) Were there other traits you were exhibiting that you would like to incorporate?

c) What were some of the challenges that got in the way from you living your values?

d) What, if anything would you like to change in terms of your values?

….it’s the next section where the rubber really meets the road….

4) Acting our values

a) Look at each of your values. Write out what they mean to you. Say it how it is. Describe how each should show up, as the ultimate version of yourself? Were there some actions missing from some of values you didn't get to act? What does each value look like in practice? Be specific. 

For example, if “focused” is a value - what does that mean? I carve out time for certain things? I finish one thing before moving onto another? I prioritize things that mean the most to me? I accept things I can’t control? I shut out things I can’t control?

b) If you were able to live out these actions on a regular basis (i.e. ideally - every time an opportunity presented itself or you had a chance to), how would it feel?

c) Now make it happen - To what extent are you committed to doing this? What could set you back? Who can support and help keep you on track? How will you hold yourself accountable?

Assuming you get all these questions answered this week, fast forward to mid-Feb. for question #5

5) Repeat a more focused version of steps 2, 3 and 4.

a) Give yourself a score (1 - 10) for the week for each action you exhibited. What drove the score? What could you have done differently to get it between 8 - 10?

b) Did anything new show up?

c) Write out any new actions you'd like to practice, going forward.

Once you've completed this, bookmark your notes and you can reflect on it periodically throughout 2021 to see how you're going.

Referencing our Ultimate Self components of wellness, contribution, meaning and growth, this whole rinse and repeat cycle is part of growth - getting better every day, and informed by each of the other segments (the areas we want to get better in). Completing these exercises for the first time should be a rewarding process. What comes next however is what matters most - how we act, reflect, practice and improve as we continue our journey. I hope the insights you unearth, help you infuse positivity and intentionality into your life.

I'm writing a lot more regularly again this year (I have to - it's in my Ultimate Self one pager). So, I'd be super grateful that if you like this article, or feel it could be helpful to someone else you know - please like and/or share. Any insights, inspiration or intentions you'd like to share, please add to the comments below.