Are you pushing others down in the fight to survive?

As some of you know, I grew up in Florida and spent a great deal of my childhood on the beach. I have two sisters, one two years older and the other five years older. I was the baby of the bunch, never really cool enough to hang out with my oldest sister, Julia, but on occasion my sister, Kelli, would let me hang out with her.

Like any kid sister, I admired everything about Kelli. She was incredibly smart, she could play basketball, and, thanks to my grandmother, she even knew how to walk in high heels. If you asked me who I wanted to be when I grew up, it was Kelli. Wherever she was, I was only a few steps behind—so much so, my mother dubbed me “the gnat” because I was always buzzing around her.

My grandparent’s house was only 2 blocks from the beach so we spent lots of summer days and weekends hanging out at the beach as a family. We were all avid swimmers, except for my mom. I am not sure if she just hated swimming or didn’t swim well, but it was rare for her to be in the water. My dad on the other hand, swam like a fish. And of course, Kelli was a strong swimmer and could hold her breath long enough to go down to the bottom and scoop up sand dollars—another ability to add to her long list of talents.

Fighting to Survive in the Struggle

One afternoon, Kelli and I were swimming together and got out a little farther than we should have. The tide shifted and suddenly we were being pulled rapidly away from the beach and out past the end of the jetty. Kelli was doing all she could to swim out of the rip tide, and despite being a strong swimmer, I freaked out and instead of swimming, I just climbed on Kelli’s back—pushing her under the water so that I could stay afloat.?

Kelli was doing all she could to swim out of the rip tide, and despite being a strong swimmer, I freaked out and instead of swimming, I just climbed on Kelli’s back—pushing her under the water so that I could stay afloat.?

I am not totally clear on how we got back to shore, but I know when we got back to the beach, everyone was circling around me worrying about me. No one was worried about Kelli who nearly drowned trying to get us both back to shore. No one was worried about her or thanked her—they were all focused on me.

No one was worried about Kelli who nearly drowned trying to get us both back to shore. No one was worried about her or thanked her—they were all focused on me.

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Making Others Drown to Save Ourselves

It is funny how a story like this can circle back on you later in life and you find a deeper meaning.

In my career, I have seen so many people push others under to keep their own head above water. Some, like me, did it out of fear—but many do it intentionally to launch themselves ahead, while pushing someone else down. And, still, others get to the shore and tell the story differently—lauding that they were the hero who saved the day when the real hero sits there in shock, out of breath, stunned at what they're hearing, but too humble to tell the real tale.

And, still, others get to the shore and tell the story differently—lauding that they were the hero who saved the day when the real hero sits there in shock, out of breath, stunned at what they're hearing, but too humble to tell the real tale.

It seems like every organization has a few people who excel at intentionally pushing others down. Often, they are capable of putting in the work, but they find it much easier to jump on someone else’s back instead of swimming to shore on their own. They take credit for others' work, steal other team members' ideas, and cast blame on anyone they can.

Often, they are capable of putting in the work, but they find it much easier to jump on someone else’s back instead of swimming to shore on their own. They take credit for others' work, steal other team members' ideas, and cast blame on anyone they can.

As you go about this week, be careful. There might be some rip tides, jagged rocks, and maybe even some sharks in the distance.?Be reliant on your own strength and be careful not to let others push you down to get ahead.

But, also be sure that in your attempt to break through the surface and make it through a challenging time, that you're not pushing others down and causing them to go under in your fight to survive.

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Share Your Reflections

Where have you been the Kelli and where have you been the younger Me in your life and career? Where have you fought to push through at the expense of others and where have others clawed their way to safety or success on your shoulders? What can you do today to better prepare for the riptides and waves and make sure that *both* you and your team are able to come through unscathed? Send me a message or let me know in the comments.

Strengthening Your Skills to Swim through the Danger

No matter which side of the story you resonate with right now, it's possible to get back to the surface, make it through the riptide, and come out—safe and secure—on the other side.

Let me coach you through your biggest challenge and equip you to get back to your strength, be celebrated for your skills and contribution, and healthy enough to help lift others to safety without sacrificing your wellbeing along the way.

Book a free call with me here.?

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