Hypothesis: You won't get done as much as you think this year

It's a new year, and like many of us, you've probably taken a moment or two to review the past year and think about how you want the next one to look like for you. Goal setting, new year's resolution planning, life mapping... Call it what you will, it all boils down to the same thing: How do I plan on directing my energy and attention this year?

To celebrate how far you came in 2018, you may have posted your 'top9' on Instagram (or at least loaded it up just to see), because reducing the year into some pretty, tangible thing feels nice and simple. You, also, maybe spent some time online carefully researching ways to [insert personal goal here] in 2019—by losing hours in the wormhole that are self-help listicles and advice columns that do everything but actually inspire you to do those things and instead simply left you nodding in strong agreement. You then took the culmination of a few short-lived 'Aha! Moments' and maybe announced your new commitments in a Facebook status update or blog post—though you're still not sure about how committed you actually are to these goals and personal projects, because last year, you took all the same steps and definitely couldn't keep much of it up.

Sorry to sound so glum. Anti-motivational talks aren't super popular, especially at this time of year, but I hope that while this truth may hurt, it will also set you free...

I did all of the above last year. And this year, I decided not to do any of it (barring writing this one article that is perhaps advice guised as a proclamation to hold myself accountable).

I found that there were still a few major resolutions from last year that I had somehow left on the back-burner (perhaps even for a second or third time in a row) because I somehow ran out of time. I ticked off a lot of bucket list items (like travelling to certain places I longed to go to) but a few things that required ongoing, daily commitment, just never came to full fruition. I needed to change my approach.

Where'd the time go?

At the end of a year, in one way or another, we may wonder where the time went. We didn't do everything we aspired to (we're not superhuman), but what is to blame? Was it our dream-big-or-go-home expectations? Did we not give it our best effort? Or did we focus more on many comfortable goals and neglect the few that would challenge us more?

What stood in your way? Well, whatever it was, it will continue to stand in your way if we don't face it.

I'm recognizing, at least in part, that my online habits may be contributing to not completing some of my goals. This may not be the case for everyone, but I've ventured this guess and so this year, hope that by facing that head-on, that I'll free up some time and headspace to pursue my goals differently—because simply put, I will direct my attention differently and spend my time differently.

We know we are spending a lot of our time online

One thing is for certain: We are spending our time differently than we did 10 years ago. More specifically, we're spending as much as 1 day per week on our mobile devices (just over 3 hours a day), according to recent studies on user habits of people in the US and the UK. And we'll only be spending more time online apparently.

While the internet has helped me in many ways—to stay accountable, to seek out resources, to share my accomplishments—the more I use it, the more I wonder if it may be the wrench in the same plans it helps me pursue.

A lot of the time I go online I wonder what I did or actually found there. The time just disappears into the void and I'm left with the same list of goals and dreams—and more often than I like, feeling worse about my abilities and capacity to make them happen than before I got online.

(p.s. Typing 'got online' (also: 'logged on') feels antiquated—because It is always on. Every one of us is a single noiseless tap away from unleashing The Great Time-Sucking News Feed or App; a quick Ctrl/Cmd-T away from further exacerbating the current pile-up of web pages we never close. (Surely, someone has done a study on the correlation of productivity to the number of tabs subjects have open in their browser.) The Internet, in all its great good, is also the ultimate procrastinator-cum-demotivator.

When it comes to going online more consciously, there's a subtle line to cross between inane browsing and productive exploring. The Internet is just there, and before we know it, we are a part of it, one with it, no longer in control: Blue-lit and zombie-eyed and passively downloading information beyond our capacity to actually process it and do something useful with it.

So where does this leave us?

Before I totally discourage you or risk sounding like a total cynic and hater of the Grand Internet That Has Made Us Informed and Free and Resourceful While Also Entertained, let me suggest we face the facts. Then I'll offer up some advice that will hopefully inspire (barring that reading this article itself has been time well spent!)

The problem is personal

Internet use has been consistently linked to higher stress levels, more anxiety, and lower self-esteem. American youth who spend more time online report being less happy. Many young adults feel they are addicted to social media and are spending increasingly more time online. Reading more articles about how social media is making you miserable probably isn't the answer, though. So what is?

It's time to look at the numbers—your numbers.

You read the statistics (the average Facebook visit lasts 20 minutes; Americans check their phone on average once every 12 minutes), yet you still make excuses for yourself and your internet browsing habits: 'I'm not like the rest of them'. 'Everyone else is online'. 'But I'm learning about the world'....or better yet, 'I'm learning about what I like'. I need to know what's going on.

It's easy to get caught up in the world wide whirlpool when it breeds shame and counteracts it with an equal dose of false hope. People's publicized Fails fuel your schadenfreude and advice from Successful People make you feel dejected and Not Enough. Reading incessantly about The Imposter Syndrome doesn't completely reduce the affliction, does it? You learn about what's going on—but is it much? Is it essential? Is it more important than what's going on (or could be going on) in your life?

Slacktivism (or in this case, whatever you want to call this condition, of 'passive doing') is present in many areas of our lives—beyond political and social activism where the term originates. The Internet is changing how we spend our time. It's changing how we live our lives.

So, do the math. I urge you to monitor your personal internet use. Figure out how much time you spend doing different things while online and do a cost-benefit analysis. Your time is valuable.

Here are some tips to get you started—that are already built into the devices you're already likely using most. (I don't want to send you off to read more listicles and op-eds (!), though I am sure there are many tools and apps out there that can help you 'rescue time' online.)

Step 1. Take stock of your time online

There are built-in applications in your smartphone with their own customizable settings to help you get an idea about how you're using your device.

Dig into your settings or apps dashboard and you'll find it— Digital Wellbeing (Android) & Screen Time (iOs). You can expect to see how much time you spend on your screen in total as well as how it's broken down by app.

Facebook has something similar, (believe it or not, Zuckerberg and the gang actually integrated a feature that can help you use Facebook less). Next time you're on Facebook (like, right now, over in the next screen), open up 'Settings and Privacy' in the menu and find "Your Time on Facebook".

Test Question: Just to make sure you're still with me, I urge you to comment below with your average time spent on Facebook or your most time-sucking app. Do you think it's a lot?

Taking stock of your online habits, for one, can help you gauge where you're at right now. How do you feel about your numbers?

Step 2. Reclaim your time

My Google Pixel's Digital Wellbeing offers 'Ways to Disconnect'. For instance, I can set up quotas for myself to reduce my time on certain apps. For instance, I can ask my phone to lock me out of Facebook once I've reached a set limit, say 20 minutes per day; then it locks me out of the app and doesn't let me open it up again until the next day.

Facebook also has a similar feature (called "reminders"). It also allows you to mute push notifications for blocks of time when you want to be less distracted—but, it requires you to manually turn this on, which is less effective, in my experience. Try your phone's 'Do Not Disturb' function instead, which can be set to turn on and off automatically.

By taking a look at your own numbers and preempting how much time you want to spend on social apps and browsers, you'll be able to take control of your time better, so you can get to the things that matter—Use the internet to meet your goals, rather than as an ersatz tool that delays your progress.

Step 3. Plan for weakness

None of this is full-proof of course. There are ways to cheat. There are holes and gaps and a myriad of ways to get around all the functionality. You still may find yourself up at 2 am scrolling through newsfeeds and blaming insomnia (though, maybe you can't sleep because you're online....). You may reset all your carefully customized timers because you just have to get online just this once.

To avoid the slippery slope, at minimum, try leaving your phone at home sometimes (see what happens) or turn off your data when you're out with friends. Consider plugging in your phone outside your bedroom and replace your alarm with a real clock or a timed Smart Light. Let's make 2019 a year of No Phones at Dinner! And No More 2 am Instagram-Reeling Insomnia!

Where will the time go?

A year is a long time, sure. It's made up of over 8000 hours. And yes, we're asleep for a lot of that (hopefully). A chunk of time is spent making a living. And we spend some time tending to general hygiene, biological needs, eating, and having a few crying fits along the way. But there are still thousands of hours left—okay, at least a thousand—to work on Things On Our List of Goals and Dreams and make them happen (notwithstanding that some of those things can and do overlap with our work, sleep, and other lifestyle choices).

At the risk of sounding like I'm promoting self-optimization and burnout by reducing life to a matter of units (especially in light of this recent BuzzFeed News long-form article with which I agree wholeheartedly, "How Millennials Became The Burnout Generation"), I want to make it clear that this is not my intention. I am a huge proponent of mindfulness, of experiencing the moment, sensing your self in current time and space—perhaps even outside its confines—and enjoying life for whatever it is Now. In light of all this, a thousand hours could be both a lot and very little. Heck, the same could be said of a single day.

Either way, our time is finite so it's worth thinking about how to make it time well spent, rather than wonder where the time went. Such is our common default nature—to survive, evolve, learn, seek, attain, grow, etc.—all of which requires a certain amount of planning and scheduling and looking to the future and the past.

Losing sense of time can be a very positive thing—when it's a consequence of getting into a flow, a deep meditation, or 'losing yourself' in a moment or experience. However, if you catch yourself asking where it went and then feel guilty or annoyed, (because, say, you just binged on another 'feed'), you may want to rethink what you're doing.

I urge you to assess how you spend your time and be more methodical about it. As much as time is not a tangible thing, it kinda sorta maybe is. I personally decided to start by looking at the time I spend on my smartphone—for you, it could be something different that's taking up the space that could be reserved for better things. If we don't locate what that is and do something about it, we'll be left wondering, where'd the time go? as our own batteries deplete.