Are you a popular girl who pulls other girls down?

Do you fancy being a hell on heels Regina George?

It-girl. Queen Bee. Like the gone down in history character from cult movie Mean Girls.

Popular culture feeds on ‘the popular girl is a mean girl’ carcass.

I am not a popular girl myself. I’ve been Plain Jane with too many pains as long as I can remember. But popular girls turned mean girls have never been my pain. I would say of course mean girls exist. They pull other girls down. Just like mean boys exist. I’ve run across some men who are right royal bitches. I’ve also run across some hot women who have been kind to ugly face big toothed me.But the culture vultures beg to differ. You know those beer bellied bald men who run the World with views that are 1950s archaic?

Mean girls the movie clearly capitalized on the ‘women hate each other’ phenomenon. The franchise made about $130 mn worldwide pitting hot girls & not so hot girls against each other.?The popular mean girl is the socially accepted bully. She tears down those in her way with well -timed retorts & nefarious schemes.

I kind of like her. She thinks on her feet. And she is sly enough to not be caught.?I suspect most of us girls surreptitiously like the popular girl. But we’ve been taught she’s dangerous.?She guns for our man. She pulls opportunity from under our feet. So the myth feeds itself & grows bigger. Maybe the popular girls find a need to live upto it. Or maybe they don’t. I don’t know.

Because I’m a lover of listicles, here are 3 reasons why culture says if you are a popular girl you must be pulling other girls down. Also 3 reason why you shouldn’t buy this shit.

3 Reasons why culture vultures say if you are a Popular Girl you pull other girls down

Entertainment

Pretty girls in pretty clothes being kind to each other. Whoever cares about that shit??But pit the same girls against each other & it’s entertaining as hell. Movies, books, theatre can capitalise on the ensuing drama, romance, revenge, attitude & scandal. The popular girl = mean girl archetype ticks all the boxes of the short- sighted male perception. She is pretty with a figure to boot, the IQ of Paris Hilton & the attitude of Kanye West. When she is placed at the centre of a storm she creates drama & makes the box office ring.

It’s patriarchy baby

Its not a problem till only the silly billy movies claim that popular girls are Devils in Prada. Right? Wrong. The cliches of popular culture become beliefs. Beliefs like -the hot popular girl has to be a meanie. She has to face her nemesis in the girl next door. The girl next door is who all men want. In Asian cultures it gets worse. Like the Indian movies with their twisted storylines. The lead male dates a popular girl but settles into domesticity with the girl next door. The girl next door is of course approved by his mother. While the popular bitch is not.?The culture screams “women exist to make men happy”.

The perception cuts the competition

It is an unequal world. Those running it would like it to be so.?Keep the barriers to entry high. So they pit women against each other by further cementing these beliefs.?This keeps us women ‘in our place’. And away from eyeing the real goodies. Queen Bee spot should ideally be a lousy consolation price. The real deal would be maybe pitching at the start up convention? But positioning ‘becoming Queen Bee’ as the prize keeps women out of the real game. The barriers to entry are maintained.

3 Reasons why you shouldn’t buy this popular girl shit

The sisterhood is a balm not a scam

Whether you believe that you have to be mean if you are popular or you just believe that all popular girls are demons you have lost. You have been denied the great bond of sisterhood.

Our sisters are those with whom we have shared lipsticks, clothes & boy talk. They know us better sometimes than we know ourselves. Can you tell me again how you benefit by believing other women are your enemies? Why tolerate a belief that works against your happiness? Why not turn this belief on its head and see how it works for you? Your new belief could be- we can be as strong & committed as the brotherhood of the boys.?We have each other’s back.

Buying the popular girl shit denies you opportunities

Do you carry this belief into the world of work? C’mon now, I know you do. Have you said any of this:

1. the female boss is always worse than a male boss
2. a woman would never support another woman at work
3. women would do anything to join the gang of boys at the big table

Ladies repeat after me. “When I believe that other women at work are my enemies I AM trying to please the big boys gang”.

For crying out loud. Do you know what opportunity this belief denies you??The opportunity to get a female mentor who will advocate for your work, your promotion & your salary.?Let go of this belief. Now, make a list of senior women at work. Get involved in their projects & their initiatives. Advocate for them. You deserve the sisterhood & so do they.

It is the age of the Ethical Badass

If you are a popular girl how does that make you a bad person? Logically speaking. I mean why should the two exist hand in hand really? Binary words like good/bad lead to identity confusion. You buy into the lie that you have to be a certain way because you are popular. Means you accept the pigeon holing. Good/bad are from the viewpoint of an outer judge anyway. A recipe for indecisiveness. They sound juvenile. You can’t win at the good/ bad game try as you might.

If you are a good woman struggling in a big bad world I suggest you read

8 Reasons Why Good Women Struggle To Win Easy | by Zarine Swamy | Medium.

Now ethics. Ethics on the other hand is a science from philosophy. It is objective & not a cultural moral from some arbitrary judge. Ethics is driven by your internal morals. Since your ethics are intrinsic to you, they will not fail you. Chuck the ‘mean’ definition altogether and try to discover your ethics & integrity. While being a Badass. Rather, it takes a strong person to be ethical & you badasses make the cut!?It’s the age of the Ethical Badass ladies!

And while we are at it, let’s rewrite the rules of the good, the bad & the ugly!