Are you a people pleaser?

Quick funny story.

I was chatting with my friend Coen via Zoom the other night.

He said something that cracked me up.

"Sha, you are a permission-giver.

You are that under dog who did it anyway.

You were not a writer, yet, you've written 15 books.

You were not a singer.

Everybody told you to stop singing (except for one person -- your singing coach).

But what did you do?

You sang anyway.

You even sang in the biggest and most beautiful stage possible -- the beach of Boracay!

You sang in the most grand and expensive way -- hiring professional videographers with their big cameras complete with drone and hiring dancers as your backup dancers.

And you did all these not to prove anything to anyone.

You did all these because you were just having fun and you're falling in love with yourself more and more."

We were laughing so hard because Coen had a way of articulating things in the most heartfelt and humorous way. Thanks, Coen!

Context: Coen is a speaker, trainer, and a well-respected one-on-one coach for high profile executives. We became friends in 2014 when we met at a convention in Malaysia. When he got married a few years ago, I flew to Singapore to attend his wedding.

Another context:?I was not a singer. I was tone-deaf. To date, I've sang, performed in, directed, and produced 28 music videos in one year. I did this on the side, as a fun hobby while I was vacationing!

Did you have the same experience wherein people around you told you lovingly or harshly,

"Please don't ____?(insert what you wanted to do). You don't have the talent for it."

Maybe you wanted to write a book, launch a project, apply for your dream company, put up a business, put up an online course, start a podcast or vlog, travel, apply as a manager or VP of your company...

But you quit before you even started because everyone around you told you (maybe even out of love) that you don't have what it takes and you don't have the talent for it.

Or maybe you were the one who keep telling yourself,?"Who are you to do that? You don't have what it takes."

Ouch!

Back to my story on doing music videos and singing for fun...

I would never have had the courage to do it if not for two things -- belief of my singing coach Jerome that I have what it takes and my?love for myself.

Let me focus on the latter --- self-love.

I used to live my life based on how I?think?the people around me (my family, friends, teachers, mentors, etc) expected me to behave.

In short, I was a people pleaser.

I was always concerned about what my family, relatives, friends, mentors, etc. would say if I do this or that.

What a terrible, complicated, and painful way to live.

Thank God, I started my self-love journey.

I have learned to love and accept myself -- not just my strengths but even my weaknesses and insecurities. Oh yes, I still have insecurities.

I have learned to be kinder to myself and show myself compassion.

I have learned to accept and feel my emotions -- the happy ones and even the most uncomfortable, painful ones.

I felt seen, accepted, and loved by the person I live with 24/7 -- myself.

Because of that, I became fearless!

I had the courage to sing and perform in music videos because I know that at the end of the day, I will always choose to love and accept myself.

I know professional singers and maybe the singers among my family and friends would raise their eye brows when they hear me sing and see me dance. Hahaha!

But that doesn't bother me at all. Not even a tiny bit.

My only rule of thumb is this:?Is this pleasing to God?

If yes, then I'm all for it!

Not only did I become fearless in singing.

I also became fearless in approaching people I wanted to talk to, launching projects, speaking on big stages as big as 8,000 people live in-person, traveling solo, launching books, leading my team, etc.

Self-love is so crucial.

You need this essential skill...

... whether you are an employee or an entrepreneur

... whether you're a Gen Z or a millennial who is just starting out

... whether you're a manager, a VP, a department head, or a CEO of a startup or a Fortune 500 company (yes, you need this even more if you're a leader!)

... whether you're single or married

... whether you're a parent or soon-to-be parent

May we learn to love ourselves so we can love others better.

May we learn to love ourselves and care for ourselves so we have the space to care for others in a healthy way.

May we learn to love ourselves so we can unleash fearless possibilities in our lives and in our respective professions.

My book,?LOVE YOURSELF TODAY: Daily Self-Care Practices to Experience Joy and Peace Amidst Difficulties?is now out and is currently on sale.

May this book free you to become the most loving, joyful, and peaceful version of yourself.

You can grab your copies at?https://bit.ly/WriteUniversityShop

This may be the best self-care book you can gift yourself and your loved ones.

You can buy 3 copies -- one for yourself and two as gifts for your friends.

You can grab your copies at?https://bit.ly/WriteUniversityShop

You can buy 10 copies for yourself, family, and friends.

You can grab your copies at?https://bit.ly/WriteUniversityShop

Or you can purchase 50 copies for your employees and team members.

When employees feel seen and cared for, they become happier, more engaged and more productive.

You can grab your copies at?https://bit.ly/WriteUniversityShop

Choose which package is best for you. :)

For Christmas, we often think of gifts to give our family, friends, employees, and team members.

I was at the mall the other day looking for a shirt to gift. One shirt was almost Php2,000! And it's just for one person.

What better gift can we give our loved ones than the gift to empower them to love and care for themselves, right??And at a cost that doesn't hurt our pockets much. You can buy a copy of the book for as low as Php320 if you buy one or Php280 per copy if you buy 10.?(I'd be happy to autograph the books for and your loved ones)

I'm here for you :)?

Let's create a more loving, joyful, and peaceful environment.

Here's the link again where to order your copies:

https://bit.ly/WriteUniversityShop

I wish you love, joy, and peace today and everyday! :)

Cheers,

Sha

P.S.?Our Christmas Sale is until December 21. You still have time.

I'll sign the books on December 21, before I travel to the province for the holidays.

Here's the link again where to order your copies:

https://bit.ly/WriteUniversityShop