"You Be Particular Now"

“You Be Particular Now”

Growing up in a close-knit family, we made the 30-minute drive every Sunday after church to my Mama’s parents’ house. My brother, cousins and I called our grandparents Granny and Pepa. We would all gather down at Granny and Pepa’s house each Sunday for a huge lunch, then spend the afternoon together. My grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles would sit around the big dinner table. My brother, cousins and I overflowed to the card tables in the living room and spare bedroom because there were too many of us to fit around the dining room table. Granny made the best fried chicken with all the fixins’ and sweet…. I mean SWEET tea (a staple in the south). After lunch, my brother, cousins and I, along with the neighbors’ kids from across the dirt road, would play tackle football in the front yard or hide and go seek. We had the best childhood. In the evening, most of the men would watch sports on tv while the rest of us sat around the dinner table playing cards until it was time for us to all go home. ??

Each Sunday as I prepared to leave, especially during my teen years and early 20s, my Pepa would always say to me, “you be particular now.” During those early years, I didn’t really understand what he meant. I would just agree and respond, “I will Pepa. Love you.” I wish I still had him in my life. My grandparents went home to be with the Lord many years ago, but those words of wisdom have stayed with me along with many other valuable lessons they taught me. In today’s world, his advice means even more to me. Now that I understand what he meant all those years ago, I think it’s worth explaining and sharing…

Be Particular… about who you choose as friends

Be Particular… about the groups of people you choose to hang with regularly

Be Particular… about who you date

Be VERY Particular… about who you choose to marry and spend your life with – Are they who God has chosen for you? Did you talk to God first? Do you even know God’s thoughts about this person (their character is shown not in their words, but in their actions)? Are they worthy of you?

Be Particular… about the paths you choose in life, personally and professionally

Be Particular… even about who you choose as your employer, and don’t be afraid to leave a toxic environment, personally or professionally. Don’t be taken for granted, and remember that bullies exist everywhere, including in the workplace

Be Particular… about your faith… not all beliefs lead to Heaven

(I fully believe there’s only one way (accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior)… is that the path you chose? Whatever you believe or don’t believe, pray that the truth be revealed to you. Read the Holy Bible for yourself and make your own decision as to its truthfulness)

Be Particular… about what you allow your ears to hear and your eyes to see… You cannot unsee or unhear things; If you are a Parent, these things are especially true for your children too – They need you to be selective for them

Be Particular… about what you feed your mind, and that includes the thoughts and beliefs you tell yourself, about yourself – If your thoughts minimize you, tear you down, diminish your true worth… then evaluate all of the above and be prepared to make some necessary changes – Remember always that, You matter, You are worthy, You are valuable, You are unique and one-of-a-kind

Be Particular… even as to who you accept invitations to connect with on LinkedIn, Facebook, or other social media platforms, as well as who you choose to follow; Do your own Due Diligence – Check out their feed, their posts, or the lack thereof – Never blindly accept an invitation; When they don’t align with your beliefs, especially when they blatantly go against your beliefs, don’t accept or follow. OR, if you do connect for a short time so you can make a true character evaluation, don’t hesitate to unfollow, unfriend, block someone who clearly is NOT a good contact for you to have among your network

Why do I bring all of this up?... I recently read a post from a man that I’ve been following for quite some time now (a Recruiter Type who gives advice for how to land that next big job, start your own company, get promoted, etc.). In one of his recent posts, he literally used the word “evil” and wrote about it as though it was a good thing, writing that in business, sometimes practicing evil can help you get ahead. I completely disagree and I will never consider evil as good. I unfollowed him because I choose to be selective about what I feed my mind and that blatantly goes against my personal and professional beliefs. I will not lie, cheat, steal, or mislead… in order to get ahead. First and foremost, it’s sin and wrong. It’s also just not worth it because a lie will always find you out, among other negative impacts. If you lie, you must continue to build on your false story to cover up the last lie, again and again and again – You can believe the avalanche will come. When you’re found out, trust is broken, and trust is hard to impossible to regain when it’s been lost in such a way.

In the Bible, the Book of Isaiah, Chapter 5, Verse 20 states, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter.” People – We are living in this time. We are surrounded by so much sin, false gods, pure evil and hate, though I fully believe that the “Majority” is still held by good-hearted, loving people. Unfortunately, too many good people remain silent as to their beliefs, as they let the Minority of evil doers squeak the loudest and get their desires satisfied while the Majority remain silent so not to offend anyone. I’m going to call it like I see it – Right is right, wrong is wrong, evil is evil, … and history is history… history has already happened and cannot be changed. If we eliminate record of history, we run the risk of repeating it again. I’m going to take this a step further and I know I’m likely going to offend some people in doing so, but… As for gender, there’s no question about it and how you “feel” makes no difference. If you were born with a penis, you’re a man. If you born with a vagina, you’re a woman. Period. A person can have whatever preference they want as to the relationships they choose, but gender is not up for question.?None of us are perfect, yet we should strive daily to be as good, kind and loving as we can be towards others (and ourselves). I will add that I don’t have to agree with your preferences or actions to love you. Friends, spouses, coworkers don’t have to always agree to get along and to care for one another. Furthermore, in 2 Timothy 4:3, the Bible warns “For the time will come when people will not tolerate (listen to) sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled (hear what they want to hear and believe), they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance with their own desires…”

In regard to who you connect with, diversity in connection is great and needed for both personal and professional growth – It’s the quality of that diversity which matters. Are your connections lifting you up, encouraging you, teaching and mentoring you, helping you connect with others in your industry or people who can help you in some way (or who you can potentially help)? Do they bring value to your network (and do you bring value to theirs)? If the answer is No, think twice. Evaluate their feed, the content they share or post themselves, and their engagement and comments on the posts of others. If you are not in agreement or you are not benefiting in some way, don’t be afraid to unfollow or delete contacts that do the opposite of adding value.

This is my story and my content. If you disagree, that’s fine. Move along. Thank you for taking the time to read.

As my Pepa would say, I hope you choose to “Be Particular”.