Are You Operating at Your Highest Point of Contribution?

 “Essentialism is not about how to get more things done; it’s about how to get the right things done. It doesn’t mean just doing less for the sake of less either. It is about making the wisest possible investment of your time and energy in order to operate at our highest point of contribution by doing only what is essential.” ~ Greg McKeown, Essentialism

It’s taken me 3 years and one helluva rollercoaster to realize that running the non-profit I started called WOLELA (Women Leading Law) isn’t the wisest possible investment of my time. Nor is it allowing me to operate at my highest point of contribution. Interestingly, although it’s hard to admit publicly, the external validation (people constantly telling me WOLELA is amazing and I can’t give it up and they “support me”) kept me trying to make it work at least a year after I should have walked away. Just one example of many is the lawyer who wrote to me to say that the WOLELA sessions are like “a crack of light coming through a slightly opened door, bringing insight and enlightenment”. Who wouldn't want to receive feedback like this? I felt I couldn't walk away...

I’m still processing the lessons, some of which I share here in the hope it may help others out there seeking to make their highest contribution, but finding themselves stuck in the struggle or even martyrdom paradigms. 

Is there anything more satisfying than watching a vision you’ve held come to life? My vision to support women lawyers began in 2015 with Finding New Ways for Women to Lead in Law, which led to WOLELA’s launch. In 3 years WOLELA has put on 5 conferences with over 100 women at each, attracted speakers including the Constitutional Court justice Leona Theron, Judge Kate Savage and past president of the National Association of Women Lawyers in the US, Leslie Richards-Yellen and Dr Artika Tyner. We’ve held 42 sessions in Johannesburg and Cape Town empowering women to uncover their authentic selves, embrace the messiness of life in the law and their own imperfections, manage their energy better, grow their confidence, step into their power and a host of other topics! I’ve been assisted generously by many extraordinary women who understood at a deep level WOLELA's mission: to help women thrive in law. Women who have contributed their unique skills to making magic for other women (and cheering me on) include Leonie Ellis, Wendy Ward, Marcelle Woodrow, Terae De Cou, Sakina Grimwood, Belinda Mapongwana, Janet Taylor-Hall, Amanda Mashoko and many others, including the 2018 WOLELA Council members.

We’ve found women new jobs, helped some stay in the law, helped others exit it, created connections, mentorships and friendships that may last a lifetime. What I carry inside me is the faces of these women, these hundreds of women, eyes filled with tears thanking me for I don’t always know what. I think it’s giving women permission to feel again, to feel connection, to take off that powerful lawyer “I’ve got this sorted” mask and be vulnerable and connect again with the hopes and dreams of the difference we hoped to make when we entered the profession. It has filled me up in so many ways but it’s also been radically harder than I anticipated. I am beyond grateful for having had this opportunity to grow myself and others. It’s been 3 years of learning BIG lessons, and I’m still only seeing some of the biggest lessons now.

I’m admitting finally, that running WOLELA may be helping many women thrive in law but it isn’t helping me thrive personally. Firstly, because ironically trying to build an organization that helps women has completely taken me away from actually helping women! I’ve had less face to face time this year with clients and more hours writing funding proposals and doing administrative tasks that bring me no joy. From speaking to many nonprofit founders I now understand that 50% + of one’s time is likely to be spent on fundraising unless you can outsource this. I didn’t know this! I thought it would be easier to find the money as the glowing testimonials for WOLELA poured in.

Secondly, helping women thrive gives me enormous meaning, but it’s been eclipsed by constant financial insecurity, as for reasons I’m still trying to fathom, WOLELA hasn’t been able to secure the funding it needs. I never intended to get rich running WOLELA, but didn’t expect I’d have to borrow money to put back into the business, while also not drawing a salary! As women much wiser than me keep pointing out, “it’s the business model of WOLELA that hasn’t worked, you need to do this work in a different way”. I can see that I bought into the culture of martyrdom pervasive in many non-profits. An ex-lawyer turned non-profit founder in the US, Lauren Burke writes in an insightful interview that “non-profit workers have somehow been made to believe that our low paying salaries are a source of pride and show we truly care. And that internalization is a big part of the problem.” She also points out that her privilege is the only reason she’s been able to run a non-profit drawing next to nothing, an uncomfortable truth I share. I’m slowly seeing this mentality doesn’t serve me or my mission. As Burke says,”if I make it so that my organization can only afford to employ those who come from the same privileged position as I did, then I am not serving my mission.”

I’m finally listening to what my internal voice has been saying all year, and I’m hearing loud and clear:

“Let go of how you thought this should look. Stop trying to fundraise to build an organisation and focus on using your gifts to inspire lawyers. Speak at other people’s events and conferences, or at firms and universities. Seek opportunities that already exist to coach women who want to find new ways to thrive in law. Find universities that believe it’s important to coach students about how their career in law can be totally different to what they’re being sold by most lecturers and well-meaning career advisors. Connect women who need to meet each other. Make a soft place to land for all the women who want to quit law because it’s so damn hard sometimes. Keep writing and sharing and speaking.”

My greatest success and my greatest joy in these 3 years has come:

Every time I have stood in front of an audience and spoken from my heart.

Every time I have called upon another woman to share her story.

Every time I have picked up the phone and listened to a woman’s story and brought whatever skills I have to bring about healing.

Every time I have watched woman after woman’s eyes fill with tears or openly weep as we touch what is really going on for her. THIS is my work. 

*Standing in Your Power workshop, photo credit to the chef I dragged out the kitchen to take this

Recently I ran a workshop for women magistrates and law students called Standing in Your Power as part of coaching and talks I’m doing for the mentorship programme run by the Democratic Governance and Rights Unit (DGRU) at UCT. Looking at testimonials, it’s clear that I am at my best when given a platform to inspire and motivate people.

"The session was beautiful. I felt uplifted and filled with a new hope. I am prepared to learn more about how this immense power that I have will affect my life and how I can share it with other women and help them stand in their power as well. Thank you so much. Your work is extraordinary."

"The workshop was perfect I would attend it 1000 times as is."

"Everything that was mentioned in the workshop blew my mind and some things even brought me to tears and therefore I am grateful to have been able share in the experience of such an amazing and inspiring workshop."

"You are doing an amazing, awesome, beautiful, splendid, remarkable, blissful job."

So it’s time to let go of the idea I held for WOLELA being a massive national network of women lawyers - we never did get to open the Durban chapter women were asking for! It is hard and I’m sad as it’s been so much a part of my identity. But I will hold the space open to see what wants to happen. WOLELA won't be a membership organization but won’t disappear entirely: it will continue to live in my heart and mind and all the hearts and minds we’ve touched, until maybe it’s time to give it a new lease on life in a different way. I still get requests for membership and there’s interest from a few companies for programs, but nothing that appears like it will pay the bills, and my martyrdom days are over.

 I don’t know what 2019 holds for me personally but I’m confident I will take my career forward in ways that allow me to operate at my point of highest contribution which is healing and inspiring the legal profession, one lawyer at a time. I’m excited about what new opportunities await, working within a university, law firm or provider of services to the legal industry where I may coach lawyers, consult, or speak and facilitate workshops - work that facilitates the emergence of a healthier legal profession.   

I’m here. Ready to serve. Less struggle, more joy. 

There will be one last WOLELA event on 11 February 2019, at Baker McKenzie in Sandton, on Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time - the Cape Town one was very well received:

"thank you for last night and for all the positive energy you brought with you. If more lawyers attended seminars like that, and then applied what they learned, we would all be in a better place! It was great to meet such interesting and well-rounded and soulful people too. I felt thoroughly energised and incentivised when I left."

 It would be amazing if this could be a sell-out event and close WOLELA on a high note! Tickets are just R349 - Book for the JHB event on Quicket

Thank you for your contribution to the WOLELA story, whether that was through membership, sponsorship, a social media comment, mentoring someone, attending a conference or session or just reading my newsletters and articles and sending me a message of support. Already today a lawyer has thanked me for moving away from working with women only, to serving the whole profession and returning to my core message of transforming the way we practise law. I'm ready to return to operating at the highest point of my contribution and maybe help you operate at yours!

What a privilege it has been to touch so many lives.

Wishing you a deeply restful break and new beginnings in 2019

Amanda Lamond