You Only Live Once. Embracing YOLO.

I’ve always known that it’s important to “live for today”. All the muminfluencers and career gurus that I avidly follow for their next gif or meme, have told me the importance of being mindful, of practicing gratitude, of living each day like it’s your last. I’ve often repeated these phrases verbatim in my team meetings and my one on ones (at times without fully doing my homework). YOLO is in the obvious space isn’t it? I’m in no doubt that we can all recite a hundred more inspirational phrases that reinforce how embedded it is as a social construct. It sits there on a pedestal, a pinnacle that we strive towards; yet paradoxically we’re also told it should be part of our daily reality, not just a goal to reach.?

For me it’s been a journey of realisation and reflection to truly appreciate the vital importance and value of YOLO in my life and career. Since becoming a parent and seeing time pass by so much more explicitly (you can’t deny the passing of time as you see your babies take their first steps, start talking, dress themselves), I’ve made small steps towards being in the now, but I’ve never really managed to take that leap…until today.?

Growing up a millennial in the Yorkshire countryside with a father who worked for the same company for a little under 40 years, taught me the importance of hard work. The value of money. You didn’t have to go far out of York to find dilapidated towns - previously prosperous in the golden age of the industrial revolution, now abandoned, struggling, suffering the indignities of declining so far from their former glory. It signalled to me that money, work and status deliver vibrancy; and in their absence is a world that suffers and starts to rot. Hence from an early age my perspective was formed - being employed in a stable job was a necessity.?

The feeling that hard work pays off, that a linear career path equals ultimate success, was further embedded throughout my Oxbridge career and early corporate working life where I strove to reach the next step on the professional ladder. Success was titles, bonuses, displaying “desk time” (i.e. being the last to leave the office) talking about your career and your network over espresso martinis. Indeed, I’ve never even taken a break in between jobs - simply ending on a Friday and starting again the following Monday - for fear that I would somehow fall “behind” my peers or the spectre of expectations.?

And so perfectionism, hardwork (leading frequently to over-work) have been deeply ingrained in my psyche. I saw the consequences of not working, or taking a break, or working part time, as something negative (even if I was never explicit about it to colleagues who chose to do that). I was stressed to turn up to a meeting late and would prioritise my work above all else. I compromised myself daily: missing lunches, turning up late to dinners, being mentally preoccupied.

Luckily I’ve changed and the world has changed - in part as younger generations have demanded more and set a new status quo. The real driver of my personal inflection point however, was becoming a mother. At that moment in time my priorities in life fundamentally pivoted. Whether it was in parallel or as a consequence, at this time of my life I also became more confident in myself, my skills and the value I could bring to a company, and I started to truly realise that life - and as such careers - are not linear. Furthermore, I started to be convinced that it’s incredibly beautiful and rewarding to travel a non-linear path (a conviction exacerbated during covid where we were all forced to live life differently).?

What I now believe is that living a non linear life, traversing a more zigzag career will make me look at the world differently, learn new skills, appreciate different perspectives - and therefore make me more successful in work and out. And while the Yorkshire girl still appears from time to time when I over-think a situation or struggle to switch off from work, I now know that saying I need to prioritise my family for a little while doesn't make me weak or suggest I’m struggling, it’s a sign of strength, a choice that I own from a position of confidence.?

That’s why today I will take that leap forward on the YOLO journey and enjoy a 3 month pause to spend quality time with my fast-changing family - with no plans other than a one way ticket to the other side of the world and with a strong certainty that this will make my life richer.?

And without a doubt I write this from a really privileged position. I’m lucky to be able to make such a choice for my family but I also believe that YOLO doesn’t have to be a grand gesture, it can - and must - be lived in the everyday (just as the influencers tell us). To make it a little more tangible, maybe YOLO is simply leaving early one day a week to spend time on a hobby, or expressing what you’re happy for that day over your evening meal, or applying for that job you’ve always wanted, or writing that article that you’ve been putting off, or calling a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while...?

Why share my story? I think the more we share our stories, the more we can learn from each others’ perspectives. I hope by writing this I inspire just one more person to think about or embrace YOLO in whatever shape or form it takes for them.

P.s Huge shout out to my friends and colleagues at my company who have not only accepted my choice but have actively celebrated it. What a cool feeling to work for a company that knows what will pass in a “blink of an eye” in the trajectory of this fast-paced, amazing business will - on the other hand - create a lifetime of memories for me and my children