You only know how to win hearts

What if I told you that you already have that particular quality? Every person, every single person who came here with a beating heart, is preset to love. It is our default setting. Even that bitch in your life. Even that abusive asshole. But we do very human things. We get jealous, and we judge, and we make too much of tiny things, and we care about others’ opinions— and this turns us into depressed, angry souls. At this point, love becomes a project. You seek to do certain things, to “win” someone over.

However it is like going to a garden and failing to see a rose in the dried weeds and then going through the steps of acquiring a seed, and planting it, and watering it every day and waiting until the rose finally blooms. But if you’d just turned your head slightly to the left, there it was. The glorious rose. Even more beautiful than you imagined it. My situation is different Anushka, you have no idea what has happened and what I said and what she said and what he said, there’s no going back. You’re never trying to go back. Your job is to find and funnel that love from them because it already exists. And there’s only one way to do this: love without expectation. Just be you. Get on with your life. Love them and wish them well every night before bed. Stop needing them.

But before you know it, in your frolic and enjoyment, they will all….begin to crawl out of the woodwork and will really really want to be by your side. You’ve got to create that magnetic field of influence around you, and this is only done by flowing love out in all directions. Then do what is “Unexpected!” and see the result. Like after taking rickshaw, pay Rs. 5–10 extra, he will smile & not forget you for that day. Some tension among car owners in traffic (who will move first), Just give a big smile. Chances of getting side will increase by 150%.

Want to make your Mom/Wife/Kids happy ? Tell them that you will be late today & reach 1 hr before your usual time. They will be on cloud 9. Sometimes play cricket or Ludo (Indian kids Games). Believe me you will play again and again. While having Coffee or Dinner outside on normal days ? Just say thanks with big smile to that person who is other side of counter. Wave your hand to kids who are going to school, all of a sudden. Don’t want to give money to beggars ? But at least give a respectful smile. They deserve it. Office politics ? Don't reply on mails just go, meet, discuss & Smile. Same person will start respecting you more. Like a random Quora Answer ? Don't just upvote. Send a Thank you too. Want to Enjoy life ? Do what is “Unexpected!”.

Remember kindness wins hearts. By kindness , I do not mean, you giving up on things for others who don’t even care for you. Kindness is innate human instinct, which fades slowly as we grow up to take recourse to cynicism. When you are kind at heart, you sleep peacefully, you are not grumpy, you don’t have revenge plans. Even your enemies , who have backstabbed you, subconsciously respect you for your kindness. Be polite, calm and smile as you greet people. Lend help to those in need, without expecting anything in return. That will give you instant gratification. You feel contented. It is a well known fact, you feel happier when you spend on others. Be confident enough to not let any stain of insecurity pollute you. Ask people about their family, their well being and this small gesture would help them connect to you.

To win hearts is an art. It is an art not everyone can perform. It takes a lot of training. Yes, I said it. If you want to win hearts you'll have to master your emotions. Only If you master your emotions and yourself can you win hearts. Make others feel good about themselves. Don't sound mean. Sound like you're genuinely interested when talking to other people. Keep the approach very simple. Don't come out as someone who's trying to just impress. Work\plan\plot before you talk carefully. Add light hearted humour. And don't make fun of them or other people in front of them. Don't talk about other people unless for specific reasons. Keep a sense of mystery. Don't tell everyone everything. Don't open up like that. People like elements of surprises.

Never argue to point where you can come out as a selfish mean person. Pretend like they're right if you have to. (If they refuse to accept your opinion about something keep it at that.)Make eye contact, take their name often and smile. Don't come out as a creep though.Try to listen to them. Show them that you're really interested. Drop in some phrases like “that's amazing!” “Wow, really?” “That's so interesting!” Most importantly practice a lot on communication. Learn how to communicate properly and keep practicing by talking to people who are out of your comfort zone. Time your conversations properly. Those were some features of people who easily seem to be compatible with the others and also who easily can make a lot of good friends aka winning hearts. Cheers!