Are You One of "Them"?

Last year, amid the vibrant celebrations of Pride Month, I received an invitation to speak at a company's event. I reached Embassy Golf Links Business Park, in Bangalore in the morning around 9:30am, bracing the notorious traffic. As I walked into the building, I felt a mix of excitement and hope, I was looking forward to sharing my insights and experiences with them.

Before the talk, there was a meet arranged with the Executive Sponsor and Ally Champion. He was to open the session and this meet was to do a quick sync up on the flow and talking points. And he asked me “Are you one of them?”?

What he meant was to inquire if I identified as part of the LGBTQ+ community. It wasn't the curiosity about my identity that struck me, but rather the way the question was framed. The phrasing of his question made me feel a distinct sense of separation. It revealed an 'us versus them' mentality.

I do wear my sexuality on my sleeve, and this particular day I was wearing a tee that had the text "Gay & Okay :)", and I was invited here to speak about my journey as a gay man and the work we do at Pride Circle.

This company was in a very nascent stage of LGBTQ+ inclusion, and a couple of queer people there were trying their best to make tangible progress. While their stage was understandable to me, this kind of thinking and language by the Business Ally Leader is problematic.?

What made this experience particularly striking was that it happened during an event meant to celebrate Pride, spearheaded by someone who was the Executive Ally Champion of the company’s Employee Resource Group (ERG). When those in visible positions of allyship display such limited understanding, it can unintentionally impact the well-being of LGBTQ+ employees. It reveals unconscious biases and fosters feelings of alienation, even in spaces meant to be inclusive.

While this was definitely not intentional on his part to alienate me, the exchange left a poor taste. If you are in a position of power and influence, your voice matters, your action matters, particularly in a space where you are championing inclusion. Take time to learn about the cause you are championing.

While it is okay to make mistakes, as we are all learning, it is also important to minimize them. We can all learn each-other’s perspectives, lived experiences if we invest enough in educating ourselves, and we all have biases that can only go away with engagement.?

It’s not enough to host events or put up rainbow flags; we must strive to understand and embrace the diverse experiences of the LGBTQ+ community genuinely. True inclusivity means enabling every individual to bring their authentic selves to work. It means fostering a workplace where everyone can thrive, free from the fear of being othered. As we continue to celebrate Pride, let’s commit to deepening our understanding and making a lasting impact. Let’s move beyond surface-level gestures and work towards genuine acceptance and inclusion, ensuring that everyone feels they belong, every day of the year.

To all companies and allies: invest in learning, create welcoming spaces, and strive for genuine inclusion. When we all bring our whole selves to work, we don’t just exist—we flourish.

This experience was a reminder to all of us that allyship is a journey. It's about listening, learning, and evolving. It's about recognizing our biases and working actively to overcome them. And most importantly, it's about creating a world where everyone, regardless of their identity, feels seen, heard, and valued. So, as we move forward, let's do so with empathy, understanding, and a genuine commitment to inclusion. Only then can we truly celebrate the diversity that makes us stronger.

Happy Pride Month!

- Ramkrishna Sinha,?

Co-founder, Pride Circle & Rainbow Bazaar