Are you ok? The universal signs of body language

When I was in the Maldives 20 years ago, I haggled so hard over the wooden Buddha you see in the picture, that the shop owner told my husband he wished I was his wife and took us for ice cream! He wanted me to come and work for him!?

20 years later, I have a little grandson who is just 2. Twice now, when he’s come to my house, he sees the figure of the Buddha with his head in his hands. He crouches down with his head almost touching the floor, trying to see the Buddha’s face, and says, "Are you okay?" as he strokes his back. It makes my heart ache even remembering it.?

What makes a 2-year-old so concerned for a block of wood? The inbuilt biological system he came installed with that allows him to read body language. How often have you had an instinct that someone is not okay? How often do you have no rational explanation for feeling like this? How often do you ask them, "Are you okay?"?

In these days of worrying that you might get sued for looking at someone incorrectly – don’t get me wrong, I am all up for the outing of poor behaviour – we have stopped paying attention to those around us. This means that those who may not be okay, or who may just be having a moment where a few friendly words could help, aren’t getting that help.?

Years ago, on a Christmas Eve, I took a hamster called Charlie to the vets. Charlie had been my eldest daughter’s pet as she began living alone when coming to terms with being diagnosed with bipolar. He was a support hamster. Charlie then came to live with us when she moved into a flat with a no-animal policy. Sadly, Charlie was really unwell, so there I was at 4pm on Christmas Eve crying over a hamster and muttering incoherently through my tears that he had helped my daughter get through bipolar, much to the bemused expressions of the staff.?

I was just waiting for the inevitable call to go through when a woman and her 12-year-old daughter came in looking very stressed. They had a cat basket with a towel over the front strapped down with a belt. Sitting the daughter down, the mum went into the shop attached to the vets and bought a new cat basket to the till. Then I saw it. She closed her eyes and did a full-body sigh. It was the body language of a woman who really couldn’t cope with anything else going wrong. Her daughter gleefully piped up, "Mummy, have you just realised you’ve forgotten your purse?" – how she knew is for another blog.?

I honestly thought the mum might cry, and having had many of those moments myself, I stood up and told her I would pay. She refused at first – it wasn’t cheap – but I said, "We all have these moments, and we are all meant to help each other. I do this for you, and one day you will do this for someone else." She threw her arms around me, and we had one of those hugs that only people who know what it’s like to hit that edge point can have. I paid, then I went and stood sobbing with Charlie for his last moment.?

Are you okay??

It’s not hard, it’s not invasive, it could be life-saving.?

In these troubled times, lift your head up from your own life and look around you. If a 2-year-old can worry about a block of wood, we can all take a moment to focus on those around us. We can pay attention to that nagging feeling we have in our stomachs about someone and simply ask...?

Are you okay??