You Never Know What Anyone Else is Going Through. Nor Do You Care

"Be kind" can erect a wall. It's like The Spice Girls yelling "Girl Power!" What does that mean? You have to live it or leave it alone. All the ones who say "You never know what others are going through" ultimately do not care about what others are enduring.

In theory, you have no idea what others are going through. In practice, people really don't care. No one knew that my father abandoned his family when he did. Do I want to advertise something like that?

I had to talk about someone else's decision with many therapists. They were specialists. I couldn't distinguish a family therapist from a marriage counselor to a guidance counselor or psychic friend. They heard the same story repeatedly.

Certain people in school were nice to me. Thank you for that. Before the female classmates put me on the right path, I would spend time with various groups. I was Drama adjacent.

Always gravitating toward creative types, I knew many in the drama department. Neither acting nor working behind the scenes interested me. And yet, I was writing a script which I was planning to direct. Another story, another article.

That is my version of The Greatest Story Ever Told. I saw some from Drama and other places in the cafeteria. I was not in that lunch period so my visit had to be brief. One guy who was friends of friends started saying "Go away".

He kept repeating it until others chimed in. Maybe he didn't like me. Did he care that my family life was torn asunder and I needed any positive moment I could find? History recalls him with a four letter that ends in -unt.

He was a runt. Lest you thought he was someone's aunt. I never spoke to him again. His parents bought him a new car for his sixteenth birthday. The last I heard was he totaled it right before Spring Break.

You can't or shouldn't judge someone on one moment. Bill Buckner had a long successful career and more hits than Babe Ruth. Many recall him for having a ball go through his legs in Game Six of the 1986 World Series.

He was so frequently harassed that he moved to Idaho. Errors and mistakes happen. I have seen both Steve Nash and Kobe Bryant miss the final shot of a close game. That doesn't negate the times they hit the last second shot to give their teams the lead.

In the era of the divorce I felt like a secret shopper. Maybe a food critic. No one knew what I was enduring. I didn't really know their adversity, either. The ones who treated me normally- that is a low bar. Some gave me what I needed.

The one who used his power to castigate me on a five minute hall pass (there were some dumb things in school) has no other legacy. He wasn't nice in other ways. If he were bothered by me, why didn't he confront me? Not in a group. You don't have to be rude about it.

I have changed certain behaviors over the years. This is something women who respect me can accomplish. I listen and proceed accordingly. If someone treats me like the butt of a joke- there is no catharsis and any chance at a relationship dead ends.

When I saw that group of friends I still saw one who was more childish than necessary. Don't talk to him. He showed his true face. Joking or serious- I was left feeling alienated. There is a modern equivalent of this. If I see the one who insulted me to my face I shall tell him about his negative first impression.

That's why the "Tribe" perception will never be my reality. I am lucky that anyone likes me. It is foolhardy to think everyone will like me. Not everyone is supportive. Find the ones who are and build better relationships.