Are you a Network Nurturer?

This week I am sharing the goods on something which will impact your career, business and life trajectory.

As I've talked about before in my Cold Pitching webinar, Cold Pitching is really the very beginnings of making connections with people you're not already associated with.

The next step is solidifying that connection by ensuring people are in your network.

The step after that? Nurturing them.

This is especially important if you work in a small industry like the Ultra High Net Worth space where pretty much everyone knows everyone.

Take me back to basics

First of all, your network isn't just made up of those you may have pitched to. It's also all those friends of friends, business to business folks and recruiters who you may have applied for jobs with.

If you're looking to connect with certain people, asking around existing connections is a great place to start.

This is also a feedback loop, because if you nurture your existing connections hopefully they will nurture you!

Where do I network?

Networking can literally happen anywhere, at any time.

I loved Reme Nicole Urubusi (Prime Real Estate Advisor at DDRE GLOBAL) talking about this on a TikTok the other day. Reme told a story about how she was chatting to someone at a cafe who has a property that Reme could potentially be appointed to sell.

Yes, there's formal networking events where you can attend. But, life presents daily interactions which can result in networking, especially if you're showing up (digitally and physically) in spaces where your ideal customers or targets hang out in.

How do I network?

Networking can be AWKWARD. But, like anything in life, practice is the only way to get better!

Try networking at events which feel like they matter less, rather than pushing yourself to attend a networking event that feels really important as your first try.

It's easier if you take the pressure off with a few trial runs.

A strong introduction and handshake really help. As one UHNW Principal taught me, always use your FULL name when you introduce yourself.

"Hello, I'm Phoebe" is MUCH more forgettable than

"Hello, I'm Phoebe Maddrell, Ultra High Net Worth Lifestyle Manager"

Try to get your full name and full title out when you're saying hello or being introduced.

It makes you more memorable and can give you a starting point for the person to ask you questions about yourself if initial topics are floundering.

What do we talk about?!

I practically come out in hives when the first thing out of people's mouth is "What do you do?", so I try to avoid this at all costs. Introducing yourself properly also helps mitigate this.

I also believe asking this later on in the conversation, rephrased, gleans more information than it being the very first question.

If you ask "What do you do" as the very first thing, people will often give a different answer than if you'd asked later. Ask this first and their answer may not give you enough information to ask further questions the conversation if you are not familiar with their industry. Effectively shutting down the conversation and into awkward territory.

If you literally know nothing about them and you're at a networking event, an easy introduction can be:

Have you been to this network before?

Do you attend any other networking events that you enjoy?

Did you meet anyone interesting at the other events?

If you're at an event of a friend, family member or business my favourite thing to ask is an easy:

So, how do you know [the organiser]?

It might sound counter intuitive, but I try to workshop questions that have some threads in my own interests as they are safe topics I am knowledgable about. This is especially useful for small talk in non-networking event situations.

For me, my interests are travel and food. I would ask questions like:

Have you been to any great restaurants lately? Where's your favourite place for Client lunches?

Do you have any holidays planned? How do you fit your holidays around work commitments?

Asking questions like this builds some rapport first and I find makes for a smoother, and more revealing transition when you ask questions relating to business or the reason you're trying to network.

How to do avoid "What do you do?"

I honestly think there's nothing more naff than this question and we absolutely love asking it in Britain.

Here's some more imaginative ways to ask work-related questions which will reveal what really matters to the person, in turn helping you build rapport.

How do you spend most of your time?

What do you enjoy working on the most?

What projects are you focused on at the moment?

What are your passions when it comes to work?

Even these sound naff written down, but I promise delivered with confidence the recipients will be pleasantly surprised you're deviating from the usual. It makes you memorable (which is always a plus) and sound genuinely interested because you've put real thought into the questions.

I've got the network, how do I nurture?

You've met, chatted and exchanged details, what's next?

Get on the socials! Connect on LinkedIn, follow that Instagram, wherever these people show up.

Send a follow up message. Preferably citing something you talked about.

For example:

"Hi John, it was great to connect on Tuesday. I really enjoyed your insights on event setups. Hope to see you at the Palm Springs event in February. Please think of me if you know of anyone I can help in the asset management space."

This kind of formula goes back to some of what I cover in Cold Pitching webinar.

Basically:

[Greeting], [Cite where you met]. [Flattery] and [Anchor to remembering what you spoke about]. [Anchor to when you see them next so they will look out for you]. [Reiterate what services / usefulness you may be offering the person].

If you can also add in something like

"I wanted to share with you this event setup article I found that I think you may find useful"

Even better. This is where you're nurturing. You provide mutual value to each other and play it forward. Because fundamentally, that's what networking is.

Playing it forward and trying to help each other with community!

Keep the nurturing happening by engaging with their content on socials and keep in touch with anything you see or find that could be relevant to them.

The more memorable and visible you are to your network, the more you are likely to land opportunity.

It's also a good idea to keep good notes on your network. My preferred method is using the 'Notes' section in my Contacts list. I'll note down something like

Connected at George's party, 25 October 2023. George working as a Butler, disengaged with employer, very knowledgable about event setup.

Over the years, your contact database can become a colourful directory and the nuggets of information you record can pay dividends later when you reconnect with George and can ask

"How are things with your employer? Did they ever learnt to value how knowledgable you were about setting up events?"

As with most of my tips, a little bit of time invested now can reap rewards of organisation for years to come!

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