You Need Power to Do Harmful Things. Everything Else Can Be Done with Love: A Leadership Lesson

Leadership is often portrayed as a battle for power, but the truth is, great leaders know that power is a double-edged sword. Used poorly, it can alienate, intimidate, and disrupt. Used wisely, it can amplify good intentions—but even then, it’s not the secret sauce. The true game-changer in leadership? Love. Yes, love.

Leadership is like cooking: you can smash a potato with a sledgehammer, but it won’t make anyone hungry for mashed potatoes. Power is the dramatic tool—it’s loud, blunt, and occasionally satisfying, like when you “accidentally” slam a meeting room door. It gets things done in the same way a bulldozer clears a garden—quickly, but with zero finesse. Love, on the other hand, is the sprinkle of oregano that transforms a dish. It’s subtle yet impactful, making everyone wonder, Why does this taste amazing? In the world of leadership, love is the secret ingredient that turns “ugh, work” into “wow, let’s do this!” Meanwhile, power stomps around like an uninvited kitchen guest, knocking over spice jars and insisting that burnt toast is “good enough.”

While power hogs the spotlight with its dramatic flair—think explosions, loud speeches, and the occasional villain laugh—love is quietly making magic. It builds trust, fosters creativity, and keeps the metaphorical soufflé from collapsing. Leaders who rely solely on power end up with a team that does the bare minimum out of fear. Love, though, inspires commitment, and suddenly everyone’s whisking their hearts out. Want your team to innovate? Love creates the psychological safety for them to try new recipes without the fear of being roasted. Power might get you a functional meal, but love gets you a five-star feast—and the bonus of people who actually want to sit at your table.

1. Power Says, “Because I Said So.” Love Says, “Because You Matter.”

Let’s start with the basics. Power is the grumpy dad on a road trip yelling, “We’re not stopping until we get there!” Love is the mom handing out snacks, making everyone feel seen, heard, and slightly less hangry. As a leader, you can bark orders and get compliance, or you can lead with love and get people to follow you voluntarily.

?? If your team only works hard because they’re scared of you, you’re not a leader—you’re a human version of a malfunctioning fire alarm.

2. Power Lights Fires. Love Starts Campfires.

Power is dramatic, loud, and destructive—like using a flamethrower to toast marshmallows. Love, on the other hand, is cozy and collaborative. It builds connections, fosters trust, and creates warmth.

?? People don’t thrive under pressure; they thrive under purpose. Trade your megaphone for a marshmallow stick.

3. Power Hoards Credit. Love Throws a Party.

Power is that one coworker who “accidentally” erases everyone’s names from the project presentation except their own. Love is the colleague who organizes a pizza party just because the team made it to Friday without a meltdown. Guess who people want to work with?

?? A leader who hogs the spotlight isn’t a leader—they’re a poorly-written sitcom villain.

4. Power Ends Conversations. Love Opens Dialogues.

Power loves shutting people down. “That’s not how we do it.” “We’ve tried that before.” “The spreadsheet says no.” Love, on the other hand, asks, “Tell me more.” It listens, learns, and grows.

?? If your team is afraid to speak up, you’re not leading a meeting—you’re hosting a silent disco with no music.

5. Power Can Scorch the Earth. Love Grows a Forest.

Power is great for instant results, like bulldozing through a problem (or a small country). But love is about the long game. It builds ecosystems of trust, creativity, and mutual respect.

?? Power gets things done fast, like instant ramen. Love is the slow-cooked stew that nourishes your soul (and doesn’t come with a side of sodium regret).

Real-Life Leadership Hacks

• Delegation: Power says, “Do this, or else.” Love says, “I trust you to handle this because you’re awesome.” One of these builds resentment; the other builds confidence.
• Feedback: Power turns a mistake into a crime scene investigation. Love turns it into a learning moment (with bonus snacks).
• Celebrations: Power celebrates the boss. Love celebrates the team. Everyone loves a leader who brings cake.

A Quick Game: “Power vs. Love”

• Motivating the Team: Power installs surveillance cameras. Love buys donuts. Guess which one gets better results?
• Solving Conflicts: Power plays referee. Love plays therapist. One ends in grudges; the other ends in group hugs.
• Handling a Crisis: Power panics and blames. Love rallies and inspires. You get the idea.

Be a Gardener, Not a Pyromaniac

Power is flashy, but love is sustainable. Power clears the land, but love grows the garden. The best leaders know when to use power sparingly—like an exclamation mark in a text—and when to lean into love, which, unlike power, doesn’t come with side effects like mutinies or HR complaints.

So, go on. Lead with love. Start with a smile, sprinkle in some empathy, and remember: everything else can be done with donuts.