You Need Persuasive Skills

Imagine a line, on the left you have passive on the right you have pushy. What happens if you choose to be passive? Not much gets done, there are missed opportunities and eventually you will feel resentful when you get ignored and overlooked.

Pushy, can be very effective; Once. After that people will push back. Pushy kills relationships and is not sustainable.

Thankfully we have a third alternative, and that is persuasion.

Persuasion means to win others over and not defeat them.

To do this, we need to practice radical curiosity and uncover their individual wants and needs. We can then tailor our message to suit.

Here are the steps to be a persuasive communicator

1.? Get clarity

With any communication clarity is king and it pays to be clear about what it is you hope to achieve.

Then ask yourself these questions:

·???????? Is this a fair request?

·???????? Does this align with my values?

·???????? Does this alight with the organisation’s goals?

·???????? What do I want this person to do, say, think or feel?

2.? Uncover their wants and needs

Needs are like water; we all need water to survive. Needs are the non-negotiables. Wants are more specific and personal. I know all I need is water, but I want a coffee! Often wants and needs can be emotional. Your team may want and need reassurance and confidence to move forward with a project

3.? Connection

‘People buy from people that they like know and trust’ and rapport is built on positive interaction plus frequency. We are all in the people business and you need to build a rapport bridge before you need it.

4.? Plan

Beware of the SFD[1]. Our brain has a negative bias and will often make up stories that lead us to make incorrect assumptions. Stick to the evidence and use a feedback model? when addressing tricky issues. Sometimes we need to be upfront and get to the point and a persuasive structure may help was well ?As As Brown says ‘Clear is kind, unclear is unkind’ we need to be courageous and lean into the difficult conversations.

Give some thought about how you will approach this conversation from a persuasion perspective. Do you need to be authoritative or facilitative? Having a plan of action will increase your chances of success.

5.? Set boundaries

Relationships are all about give and take. Assertive people treat others with empathy compassion and respect. And they are also excellent at putting boundaries in place and saying no.

Here are some options to try

·???????? Just say no “I don’t want to” or “I don’t feel comfortable with that” may be enough

·???????? Say ‘yes’ to the person but ‘no’ to the request. For example: “Sue, I would be happy to help but I can’t as I have a report that is due at 5pm”

Like most things, the more you do, the easier it gets.

Here are some other tips to try

Do you or your team need to be more persuasive? Let's chat!

Cheers

Sharon

P: 0438 831 877

[1] Brene Browns ‘Shitty First Draft’