"You need better boundaries" - isn't really cutting it for you, Indian woman exec/CEO

Priya's executive coach had just said, "You just need to set better boundaries."

This angered Priya.

She had spent her entire career outperforming her male counterparts, never showing vulnerability or asking for special treatment.

She even worked until the day before going into labor, all to ensure no one could question her right to a seat at the table.

Heck, she even took on special projects just to prove that she was a team player.

The insinuation that she was somehow a pushover was - well, offensive.

So what's really going on then?

A specific set of responses that have to do with ways in which we diffuse a threat, to keep safety.

Called the "Fawn" response.

Why do most therapists and coaches miss it?

Because it is very hard to spot, unless you exactly how to look for it.

There is a power imbalance at play.

And when that happens, "Members groups with dominant power may fail to recognize appeasement from others for what it is (an attempt to defuse anticipated aggression) and instead mistake it as sincere and unforced consent (or agreement on a plan, in this case)."

No wonder then that Priya felt burnt out a lot, but didn't know why.

The fawn response in this context isn't about being weak or lacking boundaries.

It manifests as a hyper-competence, an ability to navigate complex social and professional landscapes with seeming ease.

But this ease comes at a cost.

The constant vigilance, the need to be perpetually "on," the pressure to represent not just oneself but an entire cultural/gender/identity "perfectly" and not ask for "accomodations"- all of this takes a toll.

In my signature program, we work on recognizing these patterns.

We delve into the somatic experiences that underlie the fawn response, helping women like Priya to identify their triggers and develop new strategies for staying grounded in their authentic power.

The result? Not just better boundaries, but a fundamental shift in how we engage with their world.

I am going to show you EXACTLY how to do this, in a few hours, in my webinar "New Emotional Home".

Register for it, so you can get a recording, and watch it at your own pace.

https://www.dhirubhai.net/events/thenewemotionalhome-freeworksho7226260320170754052/

See you soon !