You are the Mummy of the house!

?1. The Mummy of the house sets the tone

Generally speaking, if your Mum was in a bad mood, the whole house was in a bad mood – it didn’t matter what your Dad was at. As leaders within an organisation and of a team, regardless of how you identify, you are the Mummy of the house. How you present yourself to the team impacts them and their ability to regulate themselves and stay in a positive mindset.

If you have just had a row with your teenager, left the house in a rush, and got a horrible email from a customer that’s going to be a nightmare to deal with… your attitude and your mindset could quite easily drop through the floor.

So how do you regulate your own emotions??

The majority of my learnings on this stem from my family’s experience of working with a child psychologist.

The week before our appointment, my husband and I met with the psychologist for a pre-meeting. He took one look at me and saw I was bouncing from foot to foot, full of energy and not regulating myself. I was not being calm or present in the moment. It was evident as the Mummy of the house; my nervous energy was adding to our son’s deregulation. I had to learn to know my triggers and in turn put in place coping mechanisms to regulate my emotions and make sure I created the right environment for my son to follow suit.

I use the ‘RULER’ acronym for my regulation strategy, which is applicable both at home, and in work.

• Recognise? - ?simply identify emotions in ourselves and others
• Understand - understand the triggers and causes of my emotions
• Label – we called it the bubblies – that feeling before you blow
• Express – saying aloud how you are feeling before it reaches a tipping point
• Regulate – box breathing in for 4, hold for 4 out for 4, count backwards from 10, sucking an ice lolly (one of his favourites), or walking barefoot on grass

The best time to put a strategy in place is when you are fully regulated not when you’re in the throws of deregulation.

The most important thing is to have a plan in place. Practice regulation techniques when you are already regulated by making it a daily habit.

2.????? Adults are just grown up children

I know this is not groundbreaking news. However, sometimes we forget that we adults need good parenting. We need clarity on what is expected of us, we need boundaries, and we need reward and recognition.

Understanding how to get the best from your team is fundamental. One of the statements you hear from the parents all the time is… “I mean they are just so different”.

To build a high-performance team, invest the time to get to know your team as individuals. Your 1-2-1s should be non-negotiable. Just like when you were a kid having your Mummy’s undivided attention was the best!

Remember, just as a Mummy's love knows no bounds, so too does the impact of effective leadership on the lives of those you lead.

Do not leave getting the most out of your team and high performance to chance. At MCO Performance we have tried and tested methodologies to get to know your team better, build trust, empower them to take ownership, and then for you as their line manager to hold them accountable and hold yourself accountable to create the right environment and overcome the barriers that are preventing them from executing the company strategy and achieving their goals.

Schedule an online meeting with MCO Performance