Be there, or you will miss out.

Quick question, why do we all have a time in our lives that we wish we would have paid more attention to? I am by no means a rocket surgeon. I get lost occasionally, when I look at a light switch. Anyway, why do we not pay attention all the time? And if we did, how would that improve our overall lives. When was the last time you heard live in the now? I have recently started to listen to books and have found myself really learning a lot from the writings of Dale Carnegie. I appreciate his teachings and suggestions. I however have difficulty putting them in play. These writings are to help me maybe click, if I can help anyone along the way, I will be very proud of that. In Mr. Carnegie’s book, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, he made the great point that living in the past is a waste of time. There is nothing that you can do about the past. The future, which truly shocked me, should also not take up your time. Making plans is fine, even suggested, but don’t worry about the future. It is going to happen. Regardless of all your planning and preparation, chances are it will not turn out exactly as planned. Live in the now. How is this for confusing, when the future becomes the now, if you put yourself, all of yourself into that moment, it is more likely to turn out the way you want it to. You cannot be successful in the future, success can only happen now.

Why this subject? 33 years ago, ugh, I had the opportunity to listen to a important story that was rarely told. I daily think of the mistake that was made. Which goes against one of the rules. But this was a time that I should have paid attention, been there. Instead of listening with all of me, I took it as homework. I had a conversation with my grandfather, a veteran of World War II. A ground medic who did not talk about his service. I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life when I coasted during this assignment. I could have learned so much more about the man that I still to this day, love and miss. There were said that stuck, things that will never leave my thoughts. This was during the cold war. The atmosphere in the country was very hostile towards our Soviet counterparts. My grandpa was always a little excitable when it came to certain subjects. John Elway was still a young inexperienced player, and he had a unique way of letting everyone know that he had a long way to go before he could lead a team. His eyes, his, vocal pattern, his overall attitude was very easy to read when he started to get riled up. Grandpa looked at me, probably after I tried to act like an adult and say something about Russians, and with passion, conviction, and heart, real heart said to me, “if it were not for them *** **** Russians, we would all be eating sour kraut and schnitzel for dinner every night.” How does this happen? He had lived through all the tyranny of Stalin, the Cuba crisis, the trials and anti-communism rhetoric, but he knew that the partnership with the Soviet Union helped win the war. Then, words that changed my life, a look that I will never forget, I asked what the hardest part was. He had, glassy eyes. No tears, but the pain was very evident. “I worked on boys, boys.” “they were not even close to men. That is until they put a uniform on them and a gun in their hands.” I did not know if this was a gentle nudge to get me thinking about the service. It soon became very evident that was not this intention. I remember that he went from a little unnerved with the criticism of the Russians, to obvious pain. “I worked on boys that walked in with minor injuries and never left. I worked on boys that had no business being alive, and they will outlive me.” Here is the point, this story, that I should be able to tell you word for word, the story, for me, ends here. I cannot express the emotions that just rushed over me. Grandpa did not talk about his service to anyone, but he did. And I was not there. Physically, I was there. But I was not. I missed out on what to this day would have been the most important story I have ever been told. But I was only half there. Only being half there, I only got a small piece of the story. I could blame it on being a kid.

That would be easy, true, and valid. So why don’t I blame it on youth? Because it still happens. Blaming your past is fine, if you learn from it. But I didn’t. Now, with age and experience, “get off my lawn!!!” I am starting to realize where I am going wrong. When you are half there, you are not only being unfair to yourself, you are disrespecting the people you are with. This afternoon I had a couple conversations doing my best to be there. I learned one thing I was not expecting. Even things outside of my knowledge realm, hockey and oatmeal raisin cookies, I was able to have an engaged conversation. I never got board or lost interest, and most of all, I remember the conversations. I still need help with names, but subjects, questions, comments, I remember them. I had these conversations after visiting the Children’s Hospital. I had the great honor to finally visit the toughest little man I have ever met. He was having a tough day, he was in the extreme discomfort and outrageous pain due to his affliction, he is not able to tell people exactly what is wrong. Looking at the care nurse and grandmother, they were able to read him. They were there, in the moment. They can read little Riley because of the attention they pay to him. Even when the conversations have no words. That was something that struck me when I sat down and continued to write. If you are all in, you don’t need words to understand something. Yes, this is common knowledge say when you say something stupid to your wife. She has a way of letting you know. But you can learn so much by simply listening to actions and ques.

This is the first couple days of this new exercise in personal improvement. I will not say it will be successful, because to think about future success will not be living in the now would it. I am reading my own ques, concentrating on what my body is telling me, what I need to do to find things that work. For those of you who know me, sorry about the repetition. Four years ago, my brain was altered after being run off the road on my motorcycle. There is a slight chance that years of youthful headbanging had something to do with my mush mind as well, but for now, I’ll concentrate on the TBI. (traumatic Brain Injury) I was lucky. Others must re learn how to walk, talk, function as a whole. Me, I never took the time to focus solely on the now, and that task has become more of an issue with the head injuries I do have. There was something so enveloping to watch Janis and Riley’s nurse do what they could to comfort him. I cannot finish this without tears welling up in my eyes. It gave me a lot of inspiration to continue every day to find ways to improve my mind and memory. Read a room and understand people more. Remember, learn and improve.

What happens when someone approaches me with a story, I find unimportant and non-important? I hope someone walks behind me and kicks me in the ass. If a story is told, does it not hold importance for some reason? To Somebody? Why not remember it and you could possibly use what you have learned in the near future to assist someone. I had a lady who chased me down after meeting with a friend yesterday. I feel terrible, I did not hear her, and she had to push her wheelchair she was confined to its limits. Through the snow and ice. I thought for sure she was coming to me to ask for assistance, but she was coming to thank me for giving her an inspired feeling. She gave me a very brief rundown of her past including, drug addiction, prison, homelessness, institutional stays and more. I don’t know if I have ever been a big enough jerk, yes, I probably have, to where I don’t turn around. But hearing the words thank you from her meant a ton to me. It reaffirmed the point I would like to get across today, please, remember, you do not know if you will ever be able to hear a story a second time, so make sure you truly hear it the first time.

Warmest Regards

Zak Clayton

President/ Founder

CCEP LLC., ClaytonPIF,

 Colorado Cares Outreach & Entertainment