Are You Misreading the Zoom?

If I was sitting across from you in person and I never once looked you in the eye, you’d have good reason to feel concerned, suspicious, or ignored.?But if I did the same thing in a virtual meeting? Not so fast...

Many common movements, gestures and expressions have a very different meaning on-screen than in-person. If you don’t know the difference, you’re in for a lot of needless anxiety, misunderstandings, and failed connections.

?“That Does Not Mean What You Think It Means,” The Princess Bride.

I bet you’re pretty good at reading body language in person. After all, you’ve spent your entire life honing that skill! For example, you know that when your partner gives you a certain look at a party it’s time to say your goodbyes. Based on experience, you suspect that when someone crosses their arms, you are in for some resistance. However,

“Universally applying the same in-person meaning to on-screen behavior is doomed to fail.”

?Here’s why:

Receiving Mode:

People don’t behave the same way in front of a camera or screen as they do in person. For years we have been conditioned by media to slip into “receiving mode” when we sit in front of a screen.?It doesn’t matter whether that screen is an iPad, a computer, a television or a movie screen. We are used to being passive observers of content. At least until very recently.

Lack of Obligation:

Most people feel some sense of obligation to be more expressive when attending an in-person meeting. Not so (or not yet) in virtual meetings. This creates a lot of unnecessary stress. I can’t tell you how many virtual speakers (myself included) have shared the nerve-wracking experience of speaking to people who appeared unmoved, bored or distracted. Only to receive rave reviews from those same participants afterwards.

Commonly Misinterpreted Body Language on Zoom

1.????Resting Business Face (RBF)

Resting Business Face is that blank expression you see on nearly every face on your video panel.?RBF can range from a complete poker face to a look of slight displeasure or even irritation. Unlike in person, RBF typically has more to do with the physiology of a person’s face during “receiving mode” as opposed to how they feel about you or your message.

2. The Screen Starer

Is your customer looking at your image on their screen, or are they reading an email? Short of installing surveillance cameras in your customer’s office, it’s impossible to be certain. However, it is certain that the majority of people on virtual calls do not make eye contact with the camera – and thus, do not make eye contact with their audience. (Or receive any of the many benefits associated with making direct eye contact!) Think about your own eye contact on virtual calls. What message do you think that’s sending? (you KNOW we’re going to talk more about that ??!)

What Happens When You Misread Body Language?

Assigning in-person meaning to on-screen behavior results in a lot of self-defeating behaviors. Assuming someone is bored (especially inaccurately) rarely brings out the best in you. Confronted with RBF or other inattentive behaviors on video, sellers nervously resort to repetitive customer check ins, rushed content, ?or dropped or garbled key messages. Even those punctuation-free monologues so prevalent in virtual meetings are often a result of misinterpreting body language.

Clusters of Body Language vs. Isolated Behaviors

In isolation, many virtual behaviors may not be cause for alarm. If your customer is otherwise engaged and responsive, RBF or poor eye contact likely has more to do with “receiving mode” than with you. However, if your customer exhibits one or more of these signals and is slow to respond or uses a dismissive or disengaged toned, it may be time to take action. ?

It’s vital that you develop your virtual body-reading skills just as you did your in-person skills. Understanding what movements, expressions and gestures have different possible meanings online will keep you from needless adrenaline surges and misunderstandings.

Here are a few more resources on this topic:

How do I read body language if I’m looking at the camera??

What do I do if my virtual audience IS bored and inattentive? ?