You might as well love

That you were born and you will die.

That you will sometimes love enough and sometimes not.

That you will lie if only to yourself.

That you will get tired.

That you will learn most from the situations you did not choose.

That there will be some things that move you more than you can say.

That you will live that you must be loved.

That you will avoid questions most urgently in need of your attention.

That you began as the fusion of a sperm and an egg of two people who once were strangers and may well still be.

That life isn’t fair. That life is sometimes good and sometimes even better than good.

That life is often not so good.

That life is real and if you can survive it, well, survive it well with love and art and meaning given where meaning’s scarce.

That you will learn to live with regret. That you will learn to live with respect.

That the structures that constrict you may not be permanently constricting.

That you will probably be okay.

That you must accept change before you die but you will die anyway.

So you might as well live and you might as well love.

You might as well love.

You might as well love.

(Padraig O'Tuama)

Looking back on 2024 - looking back on my whole life I suppose - I find so much of my friend Padraig's poem to ring true.

Life isn't fair.

And goodness is for sure a moveable feast.

Most times I will indeed probably be ok.

Though 'probably' is an important factor when quantifying that conviction.

That I have had to learn to live with regret.

And, though Padraig alludes to it only obliquely in his second line, I have almost certainly on more than one occasion let down everyone I love the most.

2024 has offered me so many developmental opportunities; though I'm not sure that I effectively grasped them all.

So many moments of deep connection with so many wonderful human beings; though I'm not sure that I always gave as much as I received.

And anyway does that kinda double-entry book keeping even matter when it comes to relationship?

(spoiler: I'm pretty sure it doesn't)

There have been several transformational moments for me like when, in a conversation with Karen Ellis , she reminded me of the whole growing up, waking up, cleaning up & showing up quartet. That one is, I suspect, going to be central to what might become the last leg of my professional journey.

Or when my friend Karim Hirani and I first discussed our 2025 publishing project - something I hope to be able to share more about in the future, though it's not just my story to tell.

Many of those moments have come, as they have every year since 2015 when we first met, in unscheduled, rambling, often hilariously funny, conversations with Sian Lumsden my long suffering business partner. If only we could remember 10% of all the ground we've covered we could write enough to fill a library. And much of it would be significant. And all of it has somehow left its mark on who I am and on the way I see the world.

There have been rich, rich conversations singly and in groups with friends such as áine O’Keeffe Andrew Wood , Natalie Goni , Mac Ling Jane Brendgen Liz Hall Daljit Hothi Liz Stewart ?? Envoy for Wholeness , Heather Monro , Mark McMordie Marie Lord Christian Scholtes Nial O Reilly Simon Lovegrove Philip Brady John Hill Sue Brown FAC I Master Executive Coach I Coach Supervisor Sarah Mumford Helena Clayton Tom Kenward Erich Wilgenbus-Lamb , Rebecca Stevens , Anastasia Nekrasova , Bradley Hastings Nickie Jakeman and many, many more - way too numerous to fit into my allowed work count. .

The things I have learned from you lads - to use that gender-neutral term beloved of us Irish. My goodness, the things I have learned. You are all helping me to re-sculpt what is left of my life, and for that I am profoundly grateful.

During 2024 my great friend Katherine Tulpa persuaded me to rediscover a meaningful purpose for my Achiever action logic, and re-connected me to the notion of hard work, in the context of Association for Coaching (AC) where I'm now working with some wonderful colleagues. My old age is apparently not a deal breaker for Katherine, and I look forward to working alongside her for several years to come.

Meanwhile I've been able to meaningfully connect with Claire Genkai Breeze and make some , as yet unrealised, plans to connect with Simon Western - and I've had a couple of memorable conversations with Jonathan Reams . I also had the immense privilege of spending some hours in the home of Danah Zohar talking about her work around Quantum Leadership.

All of those I've mentioned above have become comrades in the evolution of this deeply enriching fourth significant career trajectory I embarked on just over 14 years ago now - and if by some accident of fate you're reading this, you probably have too. Thank you all for your solidarity over the years and thank you for your many moments of kindness.

In allowing my heart to gravitate towards the future this year end I'm experiencing a sense of fresh wonder. Our human race is in a seriously bad place. It feels as if all hope for our collective future might be drowning in a sea of deep systemic darkness.

And yet...

And yet...

And yet...

I'm really keen to hear what new voices in the coaching milieu might offer to the world - with the greatest respect to the established voices who have contributed so much to our understanding over the years.

I'm really keen to discover new frontiers for exploring meaning-making. Sian Lumsden has been doing pioneering work in 'sentence completion by painting', and I've been profoundly moved by what has emerged.

Meanwhile I'm hoping to involve myself in a short film project written by, directed by and starring my anam cara, Irish actor Rachael Dowling. And to curate some meaning making inquiries around the finished product,

I'm really looking forward to many more of those rich, rich conversations singly and in groups, to many more of those unscheduled, rambling, hilariously funny 'business' conversations with Sian. And to what Karim and I are hoping to create together.

To the joy of meeting new developmental partners & holding space for them as they take themselves on some journeys of gloriously brave exploration.

To living in the only certainties I know.

The ones about which Padraig said:

'you must accept change before you die but you will die anyway.

So you might as well live and you might as well love.'

Because it's really all that matters in the end:

I might as well love.

I might as well love.

In friendship

Ian