You might need more childcare

Since I write about time management, I’ve had a number of people confess to me over the years that they are “bad” at time management. I usually make a joke about it. (“You made it here so it can’t be that bad!”) But upon deeper questioning, I’ve found that a surprising number of these people turn out to be parents who are working from home with very limited childcare.?

A kid might be in preschool from 9 to noon, or maybe early afternoon, and since a nap is a possibility (or at least maybe there will be some afternoon quiet time) the parent thinks that they don’t need to pay for more childcare. But the result of attempting to do a full-time job (even if that is an entrepreneurial or flexible job) in limited and uncertain hours is that the person feels constantly interrupted and behind. And guilty, when they’re trying to check email while a kid wants attention.

My advice: You aren’t bad at time management. You just need more childcare.

Indeed, this is my answer to all sorts of problems. A couple fights because each of them needs to work late or travel sometimes, and coordinating their schedules is a constant battle. Have you considered more childcare? Someone confesses that she “never” gets time to herself. Have you looked into hiring a sitter for some extra hours? A family complains that they spend their entire weekend driving to kid activities and chasing younger kids around the sidelines. Have you thought about hiring someone to watch the little one for a few hours on weekends?

Now, I know that “more childcare” doesn’t work as an infinite answer. I know that hiring and managing people is work, and good childcare isn’t cheap.

But I’m also amazed at how many people who could afford more childcare make their lives needlessly hard by not availing themselves of help. As I have studied this issue, I have come to see that many people believe, deeply, that any sort of paid childcare is regrettable. With that as the narrative, lots of choices start to make a strange amount of sense. Just as some folks with inadequate childcare confessed how bad they were at time management, other folks I’ve talked to over the years have wanted me to see how “good” they were at time management because they’d developed elaborate systems for avoiding childcare. Mom might start work at 4 a.m. to get in a shift before Dad reports to the office, and then she works again at night after he gets home. The parents are exhausted and never see each other, but hey, at least no one paid for childcare!?

So in case anyone needs permission to make their lives easier, here it is: There is nothing wrong with paying for childcare. Not everyone lives near extended family, and sometimes extended family members have their own busy schedules. School is great, but school doesn’t cover as many hours as work, and school tends not to run year-round. Couples build stronger partnerships when they spend some kid-free time together. It’s good for families to spend time together too — which they can’t if the parents are always trading off. And people who have kids can have their own adult interests just like anyone else. As long as everyone is treated and paid fairly, it’s all good.??