You May Not Be Feeling Depressed. It May Be THIS.

One of my favourite books on depression is "Lost Connections" by Johann Hari. In the book, he uses research to uncover how having a lost connection with people, purpose, meaningful work, nature, and more is at the root of our depression. That unsettling feeling of being misaligned in life. When you're not connected with purpose, meaningful work, or people around you, it can lead to chaos and disregulation. I know because I've been there too.

A while back, I found myself waking up with negative thoughts, overwhelmed by self-criticism. "You’re so annoying. Why are you even trying? Nobody wants to hear from you." It's easy to fall into this trap, especially when you're in a position of leadership, whether that's as a leader, teacher, or anyone guiding others in any capacity. Leading can feel like immense pressure, and as a visionary with a drive to make a difference, it’s easy to get caught in these negative cycles.

Recognizing the Signs of Misalignment

If you’re experiencing persistent self-doubt, overwhelm, or frustration, it could be a sign that you’re misaligned. These emotions often indicate that things have become too complicated, that you’ve taken on more than you should, or that you’re not being true to yourself. In a world obsessed with systems and perfection, it’s easy to lose sight of who we really are.

Think about the belief many of us carry from childhood: “You’re only a delight when you’re doing things right.” We carry this mindset into adulthood, striving to meet others' expectations instead of living authentically. We settle for less, tolerate what doesn’t serve us, and accept relationships and jobs that lack meaning. This disconnection can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and dissatisfaction.

Reconnecting

To realign, start by paying attention to your inner signals. These emotions are like warning lights on your dashboard, alerting you to the need for change. Ask yourself: What feels natural to me? What am I tolerating that I shouldn't? What brings me true joy and fulfillment?

Let me share a personal experience. I’ve been involved in dance for over 25 years, creating a unique method that creates connection, mental health, and resilience. This has been almost effortless and deeply aligned with who I am. When I’m leading any activity that connects people together, whether leadership teams or school classrooms, it feels right, and the people who join can sense that ease. This doesn’t mean every aspect of your purpose will be easy, but there will be an unmistakable sense of alignment.

Taking Brave Steps Toward Alignment

Sometimes, alignment requires letting go of what’s safe. Last year, I felt the pull to resign from a job I loved—one where I was deeply invested and connected. It wasn’t an easy decision; my brain kept pushing me to stay safe. But the discomfort of staying misaligned outweighed the fear of stepping into the unknown.

Transitions aren’t always smooth, and they require courage. As I near the age of 50, I’ve realized time is too short to spend on things that don’t resonate with who I am. It’s not about making drastic changes overnight but paying attention to your inner cues and taking steps, however small, towards what truly aligns with you.

Practical Steps to Realign

1. Notice Your Emotions: Your feelings of overwhelm, negativity, or self-doubt are signals. Acknowledge them without judgment.
2. Simplify: When life feels chaotic, it's often a sign things have become too complicated. Strip back to what matters most.
3. Define What You Can Control: List what you can and cannot control. This clarity helps you focus your energy where it matters.
4. Take Small Steps: Start with manageable actions. This isn't about making radical changes immediately but consistently moving towards alignment.

Conclusion

Remember, living in alignment isn’t about being perfect all the time. It’s about recognizing when you’re off-course and having the courage to make adjustments. Your emotional health, relationships, and overall sense of fulfillment depend on this awareness and action.

This fall, I’m launching the Women’s Dream Academy to support women who are ready to step into their true selves but aren’t sure how to begin. If you’re tired of feeling stuck and misaligned, know that it’s never too late to make changes. You deserve a life that feels authentic, fulfilling, and true to who you are.

If you resonate with this, I've created a special event just for you! You can join me and others who are coming back to alignment here .