You Matter!!!

I want you to know that you matter. Rather you are the garbageman or the President of the United States, you matter. Your very existence serves a purpose. That purpose would likely not be met or delayed if you were not around. Your purpose or reason for existence is not to be beat up on either physically, verbally or figuratively. You are not someone’s venting post although a listening ear is needed from time to time. No one is better or more important than anyone else. If you matter, so does everyone else.

You might be asking yourself; ok, why is she writing this article? This is a great question. It seems to me that people have forgotten that they and other people matter. We, as a culture, have become disconnected in this technological world that is connected electronically. We have forgotten that we need people and relationships. People are beating each other up, usually online. Someone who is normally mild mannered in person maybe a troll or bully online. When we connect online, the immediate ramifications of bad behavior are delayed, so people are emboldened to be mean online. If you are being hateful to someone online, it is wrong and is likely not going to change their minds or behavior anyway, if that was even your goal. To be treated with respect, it is important to be respectful to others, even when you do not agree. Also, being respectful does not guarantee that the other person will be respectful back. The behavior of someone who is being disrespectful is a reflection of who the disrespectful person is, not the person who is being disrespected. Keep in mind that when people read electronic communications in any form, they usually see it in a negative tone. (By the way, this article is not written in a negative tone but one of hope and being helpful.)

The first thing I want to address from the previous paragraph is the cultural requirement that to be friends, family, or any relation whatsoever, that we must agree on everything. I am going to start by stating that we are all individual human beings and are all inherently different from each other in some way. If you insist on everyone in your sphere of influence or association be and agree with absolutely everything you agree or espouse to, you will likely be a very lonely unhappy person. I do not know when this idea, that everyone is unique and that it was okay to be different, was lost but we need to start communicating that to each other and our children again. It seems the current trend is that everyone must be this, that and the other on issues or life styles. If someone does not line up with someone’s particular view of what they should be or do, then the person is ridiculed for it. That should not be the case. What this cultural idea that, everyone must be the same, will produce is an unhappy and destructive culture.

Next, lets talk about bullying. As with in-person behavior, bullying is wrong and depending on what is done, can be illegal. The same thing applies to online behavior. The Golden Rule of Old – treat others as you want to be treated, is still in style. I am not saying that everyone must sign-on to being politically correct. I have observed that people use political correctness to bully others as well. Bullying is a means of controlling others either through verbal, written or physical means as a type of threat or intimidation to the person who is being bullied. First, the person who is using bullying as a type of control over another person is not a strong person. If someone is insecure in themselves, they will try to control others or situations outside of themselves and bullying is one way they try to do this. You might be asking why I say political correctness is used as a form of bullying. Where I observe the bullying behavior in relation to political correctness is when it is used to shame, ridicule, insult an individual (usually publicly) to change a person’s opinion, behavior, or beliefs. Basically, getting them to coward to the bully. I am not saying that some behaviors should not be called out or dealt with, but our current culture is taking this to extreme. I am basically calling out bullying in this article as a behavior that is wrong and should stop. However, people should not have to go through verbal gymnastics to sanitize their words. As an example, I heard a news segment where an University did a study and determined that the word ‘man’ or ‘male’ is offensive and should be scrubbed from our language. I am not the modern-day version of a feminist. I am a feminist but not like the feminist of today. I am not threatened by either ‘man’ or ‘male’ nor do I think anyone else should. I have worked since I was 14 years old and my first job was as a finish carpenter for my Dad for 4 years in Texas. I believe that if you set your mind to something, regardless of your gender, you can accomplish it. There are few real limitations. However, I do not, nor should any other female be threatened by ‘man’ or ‘male’ in words.

Lastly, our culture is so divided in many ways with everyone wearing their red, blue, green or some other color shirts. The fact that we are so divided makes it easy for our culture to be controlled by a small group of people, that is usually the source of the division. There are problems in our country, but the seeds of division are usually sown by those who want or have control over our daily lives. The way to battle the seeds of division is through compassion, understanding, tolerance, forgiveness and patience. We need to have compassion toward each other because people will make mistakes and get themselves in situations that are crippling. Understanding, because we all have emotions and will not always respond perfectly every time to difficult situations. Tolerance, because we are all different and have different values and beliefs. Forgiveness because people are going to say or do stuff that will hurt your feelings. Holding on to unforgiveness is toxic to our bodies/health as cancer. Forgiveness frees you from holding the debt over the person who hurt you. Forgiveness removes these toxic emotions from causing damage to your health. Lastly, patience with our fellow human beings. Someone could just be having a bad day and affording them some patience and kindness can turn their day around. Think about it, if you were having a bad day, you would want people around you to be patient and kind. So, treat them as you would want to be treated. This does not mean that you will always been treated as you want to be treated but it is more likely that you will. This is all easier said than done.

Each person matters as well as you. People do not have a right to make you feel less, unless you give them permission to. Do not give people permission to treat you less than human. Do not let people treat you as an object. When people call other people “Deplorables” or “Human Garbage” or any other name, they are dehumanizing whole groups of people so that they can justify treating them less than human. I am not making a political statement but giving an example of what I am talking about. These types of situations can be on a public or personal level. The point is that no one has the right to treat you as if you do not matter. You matter and so does every human. We all have a purpose for being upright and breathing. Human beings make mistakes, some worse than others. Some make the kind of mistakes that gives the rest of us pause or even violates our consciousness and leaves us asking the question “why” and “how”. Some of those that give us pause may have been mistreated and treated less than human long ago. Let us break the chains and treat each other, our fellow human beings, with respect and value. This will not change overnight, but every change starts with a ripple.