Are you 'Masking'?
Rachel Naylor
?? Teaching Leaders, parents and children how to Master the Mind & Love Life ??Passionate about child development ??Author, Speaker, Teacher, Mum??
What is 'masking'? To 'mask' or to 'camouflage'?means to hide or disguise parts of oneself in order to better fit in with those around you.
People pleasing, box ticking, fitting in, it's commonplace in our society.
At work, there are expectations. And at school, there are expectations.
If you're 'different' or your child/ren are 'different', you can think it's you. You can even convince yourself that there's something wrong and end up feeling ashamed to talk about how you feel, keeping it all trapped inside instead.
But the truth is we are ALL different!
However, it's far too easy, and far too common for people to 'mask'. It often feels easier somehow. To just follow the status quo. Keep your head down and 'get on with it'. I've been there.
But now, I'm on the other end of witnessing this through my pre-teen son. And it's not pretty.....
Because what happens when you spend the majority of your day 'masking', is that all that energy that you've bottled up during the day, has to come out. In adults, this can lead to numbing those feelings through alcohol, exercise, tv, keeping busy....you name it, but whatever your 'vice', it's usually a fast track to 'burn out'. In children, it often ends up with a 'meltdown' in their safe space. Which has the knock on effect on parents mental health and wellbeing.
So what needs to change?
领英推荐
Firstly, it always starts with you. Learning to understand your emotional needs and honouring those needs is crucial for staying regulated throughout the day. It also means that you are able to support others....at work and home...from a more empowered place (without it draining your energy).
Secondly, there needs to be more in place in the work place (and schools) to support everyone throughout the day to regulate their nervous systems. A deeper understanding of the impact this has. And a message that YOU and your needs, as an individual truly matters.
We're sold the message that we should be able to 'do it all'. But the part that's forgotten is that, we're not an Island! None of us are designed to be so independent that we tackle everything alone. Getting support, reaching out, letting others into your inner world isn't weak. It's the strongest thing you'll ever fucking do!!
It's time to drop the masks and to embrace each others differences. Only then will everyone feel free to be fully themselves, and that's when you'll see the individual spark and genius in each and every person.
As everyone starts to drop the masks, we create a more diverse society, making the world 'sparkle'... instead of pushing to 'fit in'. Now that is a fast track to WELL-BEING.
If this resonates and you would like support understanding & managing your unique emotional needs, I offer 1:1 Leadership Profiles, Mentoring & Workplace Workshops. Contact Rachel Naylor for more information.
*Photo taken 7 years ago when I was still 'masking' & struggling to find balance in my life*